The Final Cut
by GriffinsMustFly
Summary: I've got a country to save, forbidden love to hide, and a dangerous habit to break. Grief and fear still lie in my heart, but I've got to push it aside and have courage in order to stop my biggest enemy and, eventually, meet my match. Sequel to ENOFR
1. Exhuastion

I was…exhausted. There was no way around it. Palace duties have me driving myself up the wall. Of course, I have no idea on how to calm myself, how to tell myself to slow down. I just keep on loading and loading myself up with priorities, one on top of the other. I can SO do it all. Just watch me go. Sure, I've had two days already when I've made myself sick from all the stress, countless nights where I've fallen onto my mattress, beat, only to wake up screaming several hours later from the nightmares, but who's to say that I can't handle it?

There is only one person in the world that can tell to me to slow down, and only one person whom I'll listen to.

"Yang, you're going to kill yourself." Rain put a hand on my shoulder, looking at me in concern, her eyes flashing with worry.

"I'll be fine," I said, my head dropping onto the desk, my voice muffled into the books. "I'll be fine…"

"You're a king, not a superhero. You can't do it all." She began rubbing my back to try and make me feel better.

I snorted. "Try telling that to them." I pointed outside my window to the multitudes of people, my subjects whom hadn't stopped swarming around my door since Rain and I had vanquished the darkness from the land

"Your fifteenth birthday is coming up. You've got to let some things go or you'll explode."

"The only thing I'll explode from is all the food Dad's trying to shove into me," I said, raising my head and pushing away yet another empty plate. Since I had taken up my place as king over Condolet a few months ago, the constant pressure, even more so than I was usually used to, was building up so much that I was losing weight. The tailors had to keep bringing in my clothes and making me wear more layers so I didn't appear weak, to my people or my enemies. Dad knew that I was on the edge already and made sure that there were always guards around to "keep me safe."

That's what he said to _them_, anyway. Only he, Rain, Terrence and I knew that I was on suicide watch.

It was probably a good thing after I had nearly tossed myself over a bridge after running away for the second time. Dad noticed how stressed I was and tried to keep feeding me, thinking that food would instantly restore my health. Yet the strain was starting to show in my face. Only one thing about this whole ordeal was beneficial; I hadn't cut in two whole months.

"Sixty days, Rain," I said. "Think I can make it to seventy?"

"I know you can," she said, smiling at me and trying to make me feel better. It worked. I smiled back and she said, "Come on now. We're having a guest come in from Pakavel. A very important one, if I heard right from Terrence."

Hmph. Uncle Terrence. He was the reason I was in this mess. I got up off my chair with a sigh, eyelids sagging and said, "Alright. Let's go."

The corridor where he was waiting for us was easy to get to, but seemed like a mile's walk to me. "There you are," My uncle said, striding up to me and guiding me down the hallway. "The guest has arrived, your coronation party is coming up and…and…"

"And what?" I said, irritated.

"And…you look terrible." Terrence finished. He was actually _wincing_ at my expression.

I brushed my hair away from my face and yawned. "What else is new? Come on, the new guy, who is he?"

"Don't pop to any conclusions when you meet him, Yang." My father said, coming up behind me as if he were a ghost and settling by my side. "He's on your side, remember."

"Why would I do that? I've never met him before," I said, leaning up against a wall and yawning again.

"Trust me, you'll know who he is when you see him. And for goodness sakes keep yourself awake!" Dad snapped.

"I'm trying! It's hard when you can't seem to get Evin out of your head every night," I growled back. When I said her name a flash of those sapphire eyes popped into my head; the eyes of my half-sister Evin, the child of my mother Trinity and the man who had once been my biggest enemy, Eradicus.

Once. That was the key word. My horse Shiuh had trampled him and toppled him over a cliff.

"So where is he?" I said, sighing. Dad grabbed my shoulder and led me into the green ledge, the great porch from which I can see all of Condolet. It's one of the highest points of the castle, and is covered in flowers and plants. It's a beautiful place, one of the most gorgeous that I've seen. When I enter the ledge I see that there is a boy with his back turned to me. When he hears all the footsteps coming towards him he turns around, and I realize that I already know him. Dyed red hair with the brown starting to show at the roots; amber eyes. He can't be much older than fifteen.

"You're the kid from the mirror," I said. "Terrence's apprentice."

He smiles at me showing sharp, pointed teeth. "Yes, that's me. Rusty at your service, my king."

He kneels into a bow and I try not to roll my eyes. People bowing to me was starting to get annoying.

I bite back my comment to tell him to get up and he rises, his fist falling to his side. He looks at me and says, "You're a very strong leader. I'm honored to be in your presence again."

Again? My mind reels but I keep quiet. I want to hear what this servant has to say, and blabbing all over the place isn't going to get me answers.

He tilts his head and his bangs, like mine, fall in front of his eyes. Then abruptly, with me not expecting it, he says, "I'm sorry your sister passed away. She was bright, and very beautiful."

"You knew her?" I said, shocked. I couldn't keep this one inside.

"Better than I knew myself. I admired her from afar, though we never had been close. I wish we could have been."

"How come I never realized that you knew her?" I said suspiciously.

Rusty went to answer, but Terrence shook his head and he seemed to think better of it. I was going to press, order him to tell me, but Dad jabbed me in the back. I inhaled quickly and clenched my teeth, annoyed. Never mind. I would just nag him for details later. I thought of something else just as pressing.

"You've spent some time with Evin, haven't you? What's she like?" I asked.

Rusty looked me right in the eyes. "Evin is just as gorgeous as Yin was, yet she's many times colder. I often wonder if she has a heart. She wavers, though, at times. She wants to please her mother, but I don't know if she understands if she's on the side she wants to be on."

"That's good then, for us," Rain said. "If she doesn't know if she's doing the right thing then maybe she can be brought to our side."

"Make no mistake, though," Rusty interrupted. "She _does_ want to kill you. Of that I'm sure of. It's the only thing in her life that she is certain about."

"Why does everyone always want me out of the way…?" I grumbled.

"Evin carries a sort of…natural hatred towards you?" Rusty said, seemingly confused. "The way she talks about you is just awful. I think Eradicus had planted it all in her head, and since it's the only thing she's sure of, it has become her obsession."

"Wonderful," I snorted. "This is so unfair. I don't hate _her_!"

"No, she's just your biggest enemy," Rain pointed out.

I went over to the edge of the porch and looked out at my kingdom, drumming my fingers against the stone. Rusty turned towards me, his movements sharp and fine.

Something about Rusty was off to me. His way of speaking, so articulate, so fine, seemed forced. This was a servant. He shouldn't be talking very well at all, let alone using perfect English.

I closed my eyes. "Is that all?"

Rusty cleared his throat. "I'll be sticking around here for a little bit longer, until your formal coronation. Then I have to get back to serving Evin. Or rather…spying on her."

"You'll have more information?" Dad put in.

"I _have _more. I can see, however, that the prince-I mean, king, is tired." Rusty's face flashed at the mistake, and I looked closer at him; how did he know that I was a prince too?

"I'll go to my quarters now," he said. He turned on his heels and left

"Fantastic, Yang. Even my apprentice can tell you're about ready to fall over," Terrence snorted, leaning on the wall and biting into an apple.

"Oh, go and…flirt with a maid or something," I said, lying my head on the wall. "Seriously."

"As you say." Terrence flicked his hand at me and left, following the same path that Rusty had taken.

I didn't look up. "Dad…um…would you mind seeing what they have for dinner?" Get him thinking that I was hungry again. That would take his mind off things.

"Sure thing, kiddo. I'll send somebody to bring you a plate."

"Thanks," I said, my stomach nearing to burst already as he took his time hobbling off the ledge. It was just Rain and I again, which was how I liked it; how I wanted it to be a good deal of the time.

Rain put her elbows on the stone beside me. "Rusty seems nice."

"Riiiigggghhhtt. I trust him about as far as I can throw him."

"That's pretty far."

"Oh, you know what I mean!"

Rain fiddled with something in her hands. I looked at her and asked, "What is that?"

She opened her hands and I saw that it was a small pink ribbon; one that Yin always used to wear in her hair. She put a lock of hair behind her ear and said, "I found it the other day, tucked inside one of my dresses. I think I took it with me when we moved and forgot about it."

She handed it to me. I gazed at it, feeling heartsick, running my fingers over the fine, soft fabric.

"You keep it now," she hushed. She backed away slowly; Rain always left at the exact time she needed to. She left behind her a scent of storms and spring.

I clenched harder to the accessory. It had been months, and I still wasn't over it. My grief was an ocean; vast and never ending. I was kept away from it now, distracted by the endless dinners and responsibilities and training, but that only made it worse when I was alone and there was nothing else that I was physically able to do but rest, and think.

"Yin," I whispered. "Why'd you leave me?"

It was a stupid question. She never chose to leave me. She had been taken against her will, by my own mother.

Somebody was coming up the stairs again. It was Dad; I clenched the ribbon so it remained curled up in my hand. He didn't need to see it. It would only set him off.

"I uh…found out a certain piece of information while I was downstairs," he said, awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh really? What would that be?" The ribbon, even though I had a tight grip, was slipping out of my hands.

"You've got to take dancing lessons." 

I looked at him like he was crazy. "Dancing lessons? Whatever for? Dad, please don't tell me…"

"Um, yeah," Dad said. "At your celebration, they're having dancing, and…you have to open it. You have to choose a lady for your court and…everything."

I looked down upon my kingdom again. "You've got to be kidding me."

"No."

I sighed. "Well, maybe I'll like it. Or hate it. I don't know, I'll have to see."

The ribbon that I was holding fluttered out of my hand and was swept up by the wind, carried away to a distant village far, far in the distance.

_Sorry it took so long to put up the new series, but now that standardized testing for me is (nearly) over, I can get back to it. Enjoy, review, and…hehehe…*fades into distance mischievously* _


	2. Life As Glorious Me

The sunlight's flickering and lighting up my bed; my perfect, lovely, soft and utterly wonderful bed. My long dark hair swishes behind me as I sit up and I stare at my sapphire eyes in the large mirror, those jewels dangling around my pupils.

I am gorgeous.

I lift myself up from my bed and walk over to my dresser, the mirror on top of it reflecting the morning light. My nightgown drifts along the floor softly, like the light touch of a feather along a cloud. I smile and it makes me look even more beautiful, a loveliness that none can compare with. I am the fairest girl that was ever to exist in all of Pakavel, perhaps the entire world. I know this because my mother, Trinity, is the most beautiful woman in the world. I idolize her. She's the only person worthy of my respect, when dealing with all these pathetic slobber-noses that everyone knows I'd like to crush.

My name is just as wonderful as I am. Evin means many things, and I am all of them. The best meaning is swift, because I am swift like lightning, striking upon your face and forcing you to adore me (not that I would need to, anyway, because I'm fabulous) and then being just as swift as stopping your thrumming heart.

Yes, no one is more beautiful than me. Not even that stupid girl that I watch in the pool, the one my stupid half-brother likes to pal around with.

A sneer rises up onto my face, but I push it away, telling myself I'm better than that. No use getting wrinkles over…ugh…that moron.

I can't help it, and a frown deepens on my face. Him. That...detestable excuse for a king. I'd like to wipe him off my shoe like the little cockroach he is and smear him all over the wall. I could do it, of course, but Mother wouldn't let me.

But what she doesn't know won't hurt her…much. It'll be an accident, of course, just like Father told me to do, and then she'll forget all about him and focus all her attention on me. Make me first, for once.

Hmph. He was _always_ first, I'm betting. His sister probably felt left out all the time, shadowed by her brother's presence around her mother. I know how she feels. He's not even here and he takes up most of my mother's time.

I knew I disliked him from the instant I looked at him. For one thing, he's really good looking, and nobody is allowed to be good looking except for me. Second, he's all wishy washy goody goody. Makes me want to barf. He seems to realize his place though (AKA on the outcast of society) and pretty much backs away from all attention when he can. The thing is the stupid people keep flocking to him, like he's some sort of celebrity. They can't seem to get enough of him. Disgusting.

He's not all that bright either. And a cutter to boot! How could he think of harming that perfectly flawless skin? Everybody knows there is no way that _I'm_ marking up any of my perfect complexion.

The rest of his goons aren't much to deal with. Terrence is the only one that's got anything going for him. He's as manipulative as they come. My half-brother's horse is pretty nice. It's something I'm going to take from him once we're through having our go-round. The wittle kitty-cat Rain is going to the pound once I find her (if she's not there already, the freak) and the old man is nothing to deal with. I mean…he's old. He's got to be what, sixty by now? I do have to admit I kind of like him…got some spunk for an elderly dude. Some sass. Still kicking. He probably regrets he's stuck with his son instead of the other one. When the time comes I'll apologize to him that he got stuck with the dunderhead, instead of managing to keep the daughter.

It amazes me to think that, if my mom stuck with the other guy, he could have been my dad. I probably would have liked it more, to be honest. Father and I were never really…close. Actually, I really didn't like the guy. I was kind of glad when he was gone. But he taught me some pretty cool things, things I can use to manipulate and torture and spy with…they're like toddler's tricks when you compare him to my mother's power, of course, but they come in handy.

Not like she cares much anyway. That he died, I mean. She ran him through with a freaking sword once before, if I remember right. She didn't blink an eye. Mother is always changing her mood and, quite honestly, it's annoying.

"Miss?" a voice calls, her voice echoing through the closed door. "I hear your footsteps! Do you need help getting ready?"

I feel a flinch of annoyance. "No, I don't need any help, I can dress myself! Go fix me my breakfast, and be quick about it, Hamma!"

"Yes miss," the little voice squeaks and runs away. I sniff at the door and turn up my nose. Hamma's enough of a mouse without me turning her into one, though the thought is tempting.

I begin brushing my hair, lengthening the strokes until the strands are softer than buttermilk. All these servants are so dumb. They all look at me like they're scared I'm going to blow them away (a possibility) or a spoiled brat. They do all what I say, but only because they have to, not because they want to. The only one I like is Rusty. He actually treats me like the nobility I am, but he acts like a friend too. Like a friend, underlined. I couldn't be a friend with a servant, obviously. Plus he's not so bad to look at from the rear…if you know what I mean. I guess there is one exception to the nobody-else-looks-hot rule…_he_ can look good, as long as it's for _my_ enjoyment.

I smile deeper. That kid's got a bod on him. It'd be too easy to seduce him, so I'm gonna let him play my games until I get what I want…

I shake my head, changing my mind. No, I needed him. He was the only one who really understood me…who got me better than the others. He listened to what I had to say, and didn't think of what I did say as shallow or mean. He actually liked talking to me…

But he's really, really hot…

I swing my hand, smashing several perfume vials to the floor. Who was I, my mother, never being able to make up my mind? "Belladonna!" I yell. "Come clean this up!"

Another servant comes in, her hands soft and her eyes looking down. "Yes, your highness?"

"Are you blind? Or just slow? Don't you see the mess?" I ask, waving my hands around.

"I'll get to it right away," she says, broken. As she turns I see a tuft of blonde hair trail down from her small cap; I snicker.

Belladonna used to be pretty. I couldn't stand that. So, when she was sleeping, I ordered (forced, really) Hamma to hack off all of her hair. In large, horrible looking chunks. She wears a cap now, to cover her head, but she still looks awful, and I laugh at her every time she comes into the room. She knows I did it, but because she doesn't want to become slime on the dungeon walls (and I could do it, you know) she keeps quiet.

That idiot Eliosen still likes her, though. He feels bad for her. They've been going steady, forbidden romance and all of that, behind my back. They think I don't know. I'm working on breaking them up as soon as possible. If anybody's going to get some in this castle, it's going to be me, it's not going to be some sniveling, tiny, soft hearted maid.

I put on my dress and then my crown, admiring the way it sparkles. When I turn to go out of the room though, Belladonna runs into me and knocks the a half-filled broken bottle of perfume all over my front. While it's still dripping down the expensive fabric I look up at her, rage filling my dress is ruined, and I smell so powerful that I'm going to have to take a bath immediately.

Her face is one of shock, and fear. She shakes her head, hands empty and says, "Princess, I didn't mean-"

I slap her across the face. She goes flying across into the wall and something snaps; I think I broke her collarbone.

She's crying, but I ignore her. Or at least try to. She's sniffling pretty loudly. "Oh shut up will you, it was your fault," I said, but there's a bruise rising up on her cheek. I purse my lips and turn away, heading towards the bathroom.

"If it hurts so much go see a nurse," I call. She still hasn't stopped crying. I have enough and yell out the door, "If you don't want something else broken you'll crawl on out!"

The sobbing halts and the door on the other side clicks open and shut. As I'm filling p the tub (because that silly Hamma isn't here to do it for me) a small inch of remorse glides through me. I think back to the snap that vibrated through Belladonna's body. Did I do that?

I shake myself. Of course I did. What am I feeling sorry for? It's only a servant.

*

It's lunchtime that day. I am clean and refreshed after the perfume incident, and are eating an average lunch of soup, goose, yams, strawberries, and cream. I _explicitly_ told the chef that I wanted raspberries with my cream today. He'll pay for making such a minor mistake.

I look up at my mother. She's not talking much…as always. Though what does she need to talk for? Talking is weak.

I'd still like to tell her about my day.

I clear my throat. "Mother," I say, and I look up. "You'll be pleased to know that I sent another brigade of troops to the south side of Condolet this morning."

She barely gives me another glance. "Well done." She returns to her soup and sips it slowly, precisely.

I play with my napkin. I feel in complete control in every situation, unless my mother is in the room. "Have you made a plan of action yet, against Condolet?"

She nods. "Everything is in order."

"Could you tell me?" I ask hopefully.

"It'll be taken care of, sweetie," she smiles at me.

My face turns sour and I am glad she doesn't look at me long enough to see it. She's hiding things from me again. It'll be taken care of, huh? I resent that. I resent that she will barely give me the time of day. After all, I am her second in command.

She rises from her chair, finished eating, and doesn't even care enough to say goodbye. I don't know where she's going. I'm not so sure if I care. My mother doesn't do a very good job of acting like a mom.

Okay, I'm lying. I care. I care a lot. And it bugs me. And nags at me. Tears me apart.

Like I'll let anybody else see that, though.

Eliosen comes to take the rest of the food back to the kitchens. He dares to glare at me, to risk his life to display the anger he hides. Belladonna comes in, and I notice there are bandages around her shoulders. She looks like she's in pain. I can see the way she refuses to glance at Eliosen in order to try and protect them, how her heart vibrates and thrums for him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, exasperated.

"We're cleaning up the plates, your highness," Eliosen says with as much contempt as he can muster. Belladonna hurts too much to say anything.

"No, I mean, what are you doing serving in this castle?" I say, thinking that I have to dumb down to grade school level to talk to these people.

They are silent, sharing a quick and confused glance. "We're forced to," Eliosen finally says.

"You're not servants then," I say. "You're slaves." 

They don't answer. I shake my head, point to the door and say, "Get out. Your service is over. You're free." 

They stare at me dumbfounded, unable to believe it. Belladonna steps forward, and dares to whisper past her injury and fear, "What about Queen Trinity?"

"I'll deal with my mother," I say. Dealing with my mom is no problem. She doesn't even know their names; she probably won't notice that they're gone. "Just….here." I throw a sack of money on the ground that's been burning a hole in my pocket, and I look at Eliosen to pick it up. "That's yours. Take it and go. Get married or…something."

They're scared. They think it's a trap. Annoyed, I cross my arms and say "You've got ten seconds to take the money and run, or else I'm calling the guards. One…"

They're out of there. I pick my fork back up and pick at my food, bored and unhappy. I had wanted to break them up, didn't I? Why did I just hand them their lives back, along with a butt-load of cash? But more importantly…

What did I _really_ just do, and why did I do it?

_Hope you guys likey. Review, and next chapter it's back to Yang's point of view. Happy writing and reading!_


	3. Rusty's Real Identity

"One two three four one two three four…"

"Dad, this is awkward," I complained as I once again tripped over my own feet, barely catching my balance at the last minute.

"Oh come on now, you made me lose count!" Dad complained, stopping the age-old horror (more classical, actually) music, putting his hands on his hips and twirling around to look at me.

"I can't help it! I'm gangly and I've got long limbs. I'll look like a monkey in a suit."

"No you're not gangly, you're muscular," he protested.

"Fine, muscular. I'll look like a gorilla!"

"You've got to let the dance flow," Dad said positioning my arms around the dummy we were using for a partner. I wondered how I could look any stupider.

"I'm…moving…like…an…ox!" I say, stumbling past the actions.

"Pretend you're in a battle. You move beautifully then."

"Thanks," I said grumpily. Dad had turned from a grouchy old man into the Lord of the Dance within a few short hours. He was soon using words that I had never heard come from his mouth, like "beautiful" and "fluent."

"Maybe we should get you a partner. It may help," he said, raising his eyebrow.

"No!" I shouted. "It's going to be embarrassing enough picking one of them to go with me."

"What are you going to do, perform the dance by yourself? You've got to have somebody to rehearse with before you go on."

"Yeah, I know." I suppressed the moaning in my voice so he wouldn't hear it. Whining wouldn't get me anywhere but yelled at right now.

"Do you know who you're inviting yet?" He asked, suddenly even sterner than before.

My cheeks turned a little red. "Um…no."

"Got anybody in mind?"

"Definitely not," I thought, Rain springing to my mind.

Dad looked me in the eyes, demanding my attention. "Yang, I'm your father, don't lie to me. Stop pretending nobody knows when it's fairly obvious."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. In one ear and out the other," I said, blushing harder than before.

"Oh please…" Dad let out an exhausted sigh before dragging a stool and sitting down in it, pointing at the other one right next to it and virtually ordering me to sit. Technically, since I'm king, I could tell him no and not get in trouble for it, but since it involves the whole, 'I'm your dad and you have to do what I say because I brought you into this world and it's the right thing to do,' I do it anyway.

I take a deep breath. "What, Dad?"

He looks at me; he feels sorry for me. "You like her, don't you?"

"Define her."

"Yang."

A few seconds of silence pass. He's not going to let up until I tell him what he wants to hear. It's no use fooling him like I've fooled everyone else. I'm good at it, but I've pulled the wool over his eyes too many times, especially with the cutting thing, to get away with it now. He's become an expert at telling when I'm lying.

I sigh. "You want the truth?"

He nods. I dwindle my fingers across my scarred arms and say, "Okay, yeah. I like her. I like her a lot. More than I've liked anybody else before."

"Then why don't you ask her to go with you?" He says, truly confused.

I shake my head. "It'd put her in danger. Right now she's invisible, and safe."

"I hope you realize that she's assumed the role of your protector. She's in more danger now than she ever was before. You going out with her isn't going to make much of a difference." He shrugs.

"Uh, yeah it will," I say. "It'll get our emotions involved, and make everything more complicated. She's already too attached to me as it is. I'm king, so this stupid protector stuff is over. I'm going to order her to stop."

"You honestly think that she's going to listen to you? Son, that's the one thing you'll tell her to do that she'll never listen to."

I bite my lip. "I know."

"So there's nothing to lose."

"Yes there is! There's everything!" I burst. "I'm not going to lose her like…like you lost Trinity or like we…lost…Yin." I choke on her name, trying to remember the last time I said it. I can't even fathom if I've said the word since she left.

"You really like her that much?" Dad asks, shocked.

I swallow. "Honestly…? If she were to go out of my life I'd…I'd go off the deep end. Literally."

He looks at me in complete and utter amazement. He then shakes his head and goes, "Kid…kid…I'll never understand you."

"I care about her, okay? She's like, the only girl in my life that I've still got hanging around. I bet you were pretty reluctant to let Mom go," I said.

He looked out the window. The subject had turned to my mother, so he was drawing away. "Still and all," he says. "It's only a dance. It's not like it means anything."

"Says the man who led on dozens of women," I whisper under my breath. He doesn't reply; he's left.

*

"Your highness! Your highness! Please invite me!"

"No, don't listen to her, I'm the one you want!"

"You know, I could give you a lot of things these other girls couldn't offer…"

"I'm a good girl, from good breeding. It'd be a wise choice to go with me."

By the end of the next day I've had so many date requests, from so many girls, that I can't even remember who all asked. I feel pretty guilty about it, but its been like that, one right after the other.

For four straight days.

You'd have thought Condolet would have run out of girls by now. And it's not just people my age; a forty year old woman asked me yesterday. There was no chance I would forget _her._

"Rain," I moan, the two of us alone in my bedroom, me lounging on my bed with my head swimming and her on the bench by the window, "There are _so many girls."_

"I don't see what you're complaining about. Most guys would jump at the chance you're getting."

"Yeah, but I'm not like that. I'm a one woman man."

"Oh are you?" She asks, a mischievous grin lighting up her face.

"Oh come on now, not like that!" I say. I put a hand over my face and sigh. "How many days till the dance?"

"You've got three days."

I jolt right up. "No! I was sure I had an entire week!"

"Three days, as of right now. Tomorrow you have two."

I stare up at the ceiling, thinking about how awkward and uncomfortable this is going to be. Why Condolet couldn't have just thrown a normal party, I have no idea.

A bird twitters outside my window. Rain looks at it, her eyes blinking. "You know, we could go together…as just friends," she suggests.

I go quiet. "That's not happening."

"Come on. You need a date, and I'm the only one who knows the dance because I'm the only one who's ever seen your practice. It'll be strictly business. Everyone knows we're not like that."

An image of Dad pops into my head, and I scowl. _Yeah right. In case you haven't noticed we're not fooling anyone, honey. _But I'm fooling her. Which is the most important part. "Fine," I moan, making sure to make it sound like it's a big deal. "You got a dress?"

"Not yet, but I'm sure that I'll find one. We'll go together, as friends, and get it over with so you can continue with your obligations." Rain affirms, as if it was a business transaction or a plan of battle.

"Only if you promise they'll be no gushy…whatever it is." I extinguish my hopes before the flames even rise. "None of that pretending to be couple stuff."

"Strictly friends, I swear."

"Sounds good to me." Once again, Rain has saved my rear.

*

The night of the coronation/birthday/ball/party/whatever it is, Dad makes sure to dress me up in the fanciest looking thing that's to be found in Condolot's closet. I sort of feel like a joke in it, honestly. I wish I could just wear a simple tux, instead of having to wear this elaborate velvet purple getup (of course they _had to _make sure it matched my eyes) that would probably feed half a million starving children.

"Put the crown on," Dad says, who's dressed in an elaborate green robe.

"No, I don't want to," I complain, trying to flatten down my messy hair.

"It'll keep that mop of yours from flying all over the place. Where on earth did you get such thick hair…"

"From me," Terrence says, flouncing into the room in a sparkly gold suit that makes him look like he's a medallion. He obviously is at ease in the formal attire, acting as if the thing is more comfortable to him than slacks.

"I should have known," Dad grumbles. "Come on now boy, put it on,"

"Oh, no," I protest, but he jams it on my head anyway. "And that's where it's going to stay," Dad says sternly. "If you take it off once you're grounded for a week."

"How could you possibly ground a king?" I grumble, trying to fix my bangs under the crown. They're stubbornly refusing to work with it. The thing is so shiny, it glistens in the sunlight. I'm lucky this party is being held at night, or else I'm liable to blind some people just walking around with the thing. Forget battle plans later. I'll just walk onto the field with this crown on and the enemy will drop to the ground, their pupils burned out.

"Does the girl have a crown?" Terrence asks my father.

"Rain," I say, annoyed.

"She's got an old tiara of my mother's. Very old fashioned." Dad says.

"Is Grandma Honey going to be here?" I ask warily. The last time I had seen her, I had ran away from her, but not of my own choice…okay, yeah, it was my own choice, but it was for her safety. I didn't know how she was going to take seeing me.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it kid, all is forgotten," Terrence says. "I had a talk with her, and she completely forgets the whole running away incidence. Says it is completely covered by being king. She knew you always had it in you, not like your father, she said. Just like me, she said."

"Oh yes, you would talk to her, wouldn't you," Dad muttered, jamming a smaller crown of his own onto his head. I suppose Grandma liked Terrence better than Dad. Another strike for the famous Terrence/Yomen rivalry.

"Well, aren't we all looking spiffy," Rusty said as he entered the room, fixing his collar.

I suppressed a glint of jealously. Rusty looked better in his dusty-red suit than any of the rest of us, even though it was commonly made and had no adornments or embroidery like the rest of ours did. It was obvious that Terrence spent all of the money on his outfit and left what fell off his nose to his apprentice. Even so, he was going to have all the rest of the girls (who were very bitter that I hadn't chosen them) crawling all over him. _His_ hair was neatly combed, and not flying all over the place. Really, I think he looked like a king more than I did. I was half tempted to rip the crown off my head and place it on his, but thought better of it.

"Spiffy?" Terrence said, rolling his eyes. I knew he was half tempted to cuff the kid on the back of the head. "Really now, stop using words like that. You talk like you're a freaking stuffed-shirt."

"I have to have practice. I'm going back to Trinity's palace tonight," Rusty informed us. "I'll pass on some more information to our king during the ball, but then I have to run. The queen and her young princess aren't going to be fooled by me if I'm talking like some commoner hick."

"Is there anything wrong with that?" I whispered sharply. I almost bet Rusty thought my speech sucked.

"Not at all." Rusty said, nodding his head to me. His words felt like a punch in the gut.

"Come on come on, you're going to be late. The band's already playing the introduction," Dad said. "You've got to open the first dance. Move along now, your lady is waiting."

"She's not my lady," I said to Dad through clenched teeth, but he didn't hear me as he pushed me out into the hall and to the bottom of the staircase. She wasn't up there yet; Rusty started towards the stairs and said, "I'll go get her."

"Don't you dare," I said, and I was surprised at my tone. I didn't like the thought of Rusty being alone with Rain, let alone when she may be getting dressed. He paused in mid step, looking at me and I said, "Let a servant do it."

A tiny maid ran up the stairs, dressed prettily as well. Even the lowest of servants had fine clothes on…this was obviously a big deal. I had my back turned to the staircase and was drumming my fingers against the wall…what was taking her so long? Maybe, if she wasn't ready, I could get out of it by saying she was sick or something. No, no chance…there were too many replacements.

"Eh em," Dad said, coughing into his sleeve. I turned around and he said with a smile, "Your majesty. The free girl Rain of Pakavel."

I followed my eyes up the stairs to where he was pointing, and my mouth dropped open. It was Rain alright. But it was a Rain I had never seen before.

She was so beautiful I could have died right there and never made a complaint.

She was wearing a long, floor length gown made of the most flowing white fabric I had ever seen. Her bodice on top was black, and it led down into a floral design to the very edge of the dress. A bow was tied around her waist, also black, and the top was sleeveless and strapless. Her black hair was up in a simple bun that had a white ribbon trailing down from it, with a sparkling diamond tiara sitting in front of it. As she drew closer I saw she was wearing a slight touch of makeup (a first) and was wearing tiny sapphire earrings and a necklace that looked like, what else, raindrops.

I had never seen anyone so pretty, nor paid so much attention to how somebody looked before. She came down the stairs and smiled at me shyly, asking, "Is it too much? I've never worn such a fine thing before."

"Whaaaa," I said, and I barely caught myself. I could feel Dad drilling his eyeballs into my face. He probably knew exactly how I felt right now. I straightened up and said, "Oh no, it's perfect. You're perfect. I mean…nice raindrop shaped stones," I said meekly.

"Oh, you like them?" She said, touching her necklace. "I wanted something that sort of reminded me of you, and since you gave me the name Rain…"

"It fits you exactly," I said, trying to act like a friend instead of the other unutterable thing. It wasn't working. I held out my arm for her to take and asked, "Shall we go?"

"Oh yes, let's." Rain seemed very excited, clenching onto my forearm. I could see why. She had never been to one of these unless she was working at one, and for once the attention was all going to be on her.

It was awkward. For me, at least. I couldn't say anything to her with Dad, Terrence and Rusty following. So I cleared my throat and said, "Um…cool dress. Where'd you get it?"

Rain didn't look at me for this one. "I had to ask your father. We had to get it tailored at the last minute, but we made it work. It…it was an old one of your mother's. I think she was wearing it on the night she met your dad."

You had to be kidding me. I looked back at my dad, but he just sheepishly shrugged at me. I shook my head and continued on. Mister Romantic, alright. An old dress of my mom's. I could have waited until the end of the night to know that. Oh well…it's better than the racy red dress Terrence would have probably told her to wear. She didn't know any better. Rain rarely did.

As we moved to the ballroom her dress billowed around her and I saw that she wore high white heels with jewels on them. How she was going to dance in them, I had no idea.

As we entered into the ballroom I had to suppress a gasp. There were hundreds of people out there…high society people. How was I supposed to fit in with any of them? Before Rain and I descended the stairs the herald called out, "Introducing the King of Condolet, Young Lightstar Yang and his lady, the free girl Rain!"

The crowd supplied light applause. I gulped. This was a tough crowd. They were expecting nothing less than perfection. I looked at Rain and she held her head high, and proud. She was nervous, but she wasn't afraid.

As we made our way to the dance floor I looked at the band, who were beginning to start up. There was a singer up there, a male dressed just as fancily as the rest, but young, like me. As was tradition, Dad had picked the opening song for us to dance to. We hadn't been allowed to know what it was; that made the dance that much harder. A quiver rumbled through my stomach as the music began.

"Oh no…" I murmured, shaking my head as I recognized the song Dad had picked. He picked Jonas Brothers, and not just any Jonas Brothers. I walked away from Rain, turned to Dad and said, "Did you _have_ to pick this song?"

He looked back at me without blinking. "I thought that it would symbolize your feelings for her adequately."

"She's not supposed to know, remember? Nobody is!" I hissed. I was thankful that I was too far away for her to hear.

"You can't keep her away forever," he said, his eyes sad.

"I don't like it," I said stubbornly. "I don't like this song." I kept myself from running a hand through my already messy hair, so I wouldn't tip over the crown. Where was my blade. Where. Was. My. Blade.

"Yang…" Dad said, and he stared deeply into my lavender eyes. "It was your sister's favorite song."

I turned away. I knew it was. And that was the main reason it was going to be so hard to dance to. If people could look down from heaven and interfere with people's lives, I had no doubt that Yin was probably doing that. I didn't think that was allowed, but I guess anything was possible. Could she have done this on purpose, inspired Dad to pick her favorite song in order to push us together? It would be just like her. I imagine she's laughing her head off right now. "Yin…" I sighed, looking skyward. I then moved next to Rain.

"You ready?" I asked her, taking her hand.

She nodded. "Let's do our best."

"And have fun," I smiled. We moved out into the dance floor, a wide and open sea. The entire court was all around us, forming a large circle and clapping. Rain turned to me and I put my right hand on her waist, and took her left hand with my own. She put her remaining hand on my shoulder as we took the beginning stance, moving in step with the words as they began.

"_If the heart is always searching, Can you ever find a home? I've been looking for that someone, I'll never make it on my own. Dreams can't take the place of loving you, There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true…"_

This wasn't awkward at all. It should have been, but it wasn't. Her body molded perfectly with mine as we were in beat with the movements, me twirling her around as we moved in an elegant ballroom dance, every step in sync with one another.

_"When you look me in the eyes, And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise, When you look me in the eyes." _

We were doing much, much better than we had been doing in practice. There were no trips or stumbles, no mishaps. We were so connected to each other that there was no end to who began and who ended. I knew immediately that I couldn't have done this with any other girl.

_"How long will I be waiting, To be with you again Gonna tell you that I love you, In the best way that I can. I can't take a day without you here, You're the light that makes my darkness disappear." _

Her eyes were deep in concentration, making sure that none of the steps were missed. My own, however, must have been swimming. There were too many times I had to remind myself to breathe.

_"When you look me in the eyes, And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise, When you look me in the eyes." _

The dance was getting more and more complicated now. We had never practiced with the music before (it hadn't been allowed, on account of some stupid Condolet tradition) so we just had to follow our instincts and what we had been taught. Dad picked a perfect song for this kind of dance, made it easier by picking the exact beat we had needed.

_"More and more, I start to realize, I can reach my tomorrow, I can hold my head up high, And it's all because you're by my side." _

I was starting to get nervous. I was going to have to lift her in a few seconds. I gulped and whispered quickly, "I'm sorry if I let you fall."

"You won't," she whispered back, the effort taking away some of her breath.

"How do you know?" I said as we came to a halt, her arms wrapped around me in a romantic, passionate position.

"I know you." She breathed back, and said no more.

"_When you look me in the eyes, And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side…"_

This was it…she spun around, faster and faster, landing in my outstretched arms and I lifted her up and around me as she clung to my shoulders, her face full of passion.

"_When I hold you in my arms, I know that it's forever, I just gotta let you know, I never wanna let you go, Cause when you look me in the eyes…"_

She was so light… after all those verses I let her down gently, and she stopped concentrating. We were just moving as one now, not even thinking. No thought, just action. We were doing what we always did, following each other's actions and merging into one person, sharing everything we had until our souls seemed bonded with one another. There were no secrets between us…I had told her I was a cutter from the instant I met her, and she had told me her life story within a few minute. No secrets. No harm. Only trust. The steps went faster and faster, yet there was absolutely no fear, only faith.

"_And tell me that you love me. Everything's alright, When you're right here by my side. When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven. I find my paradise, When you look me in the eyes. Oh…_

_Oh…_

_Ohhh Yeah…"_

We ended with me holding her as she leaned backwards, her only being supported from falling by my strong grip. As soon as the song was over the place burst into a loud, thunderous cheer; people leapt from their tables and gave us a standing ovation. Breathing hard, we both separated and, while holding each other's hands, took a bow and a curtsy.

"That was fantastic, my dear!" Grandma Honey cried, waving her champagne glass around so much that some drink sloshed out of it. "Best dance I've ever seen in all my years! So emotional, so fervant! Well done, well done!"

I smiled at her, and Rain and I continued back to the head table, receiving many congratulations as we went. Rain smiled at me and said, "Do you think we did well?"

I wiped some sweat off my head. "Are you kidding? We brought the house down!"

"Not bad for a couple of best friends," she said happily. "Maybe we should do this competitively."

"I'll make time for it in my vacant schedule," I laughed. We took out seats at the table and Dad nodded approvingly at me, pride showing in his face. Feeling warm with happiness, I started in on the first course.

The night was going better than I expected. In-between the courses of massive food I danced a few more times…but not with Rain. I wanted to, badly of course, to relive that one great moment when we had shared a song, but I knew it wasn't allowed. She didn't seem to mind much.

"Aren't you going to ask Rain to dance again?" Dad said, a little tipsy from the extra wine he'd been downing.

"Ah, it's okay," I said. "She's happy where she is."

"I think she would like it if you asked her. She's probably looking for you."

"With all of the people complimenting her on her performance? She's forgotten all about me," I said.

"Don't be so sure," Dad said, then moved along to dance with a large woman in a red dress. He was another one who wished that he was dancing with another. This was another great and heartbreaking opportunity; when Rain realized I wasn't going to ask her to dance again, her assumptions that I didn't like her would be reaffirmed more.

After the eighth course I picked up my glass of sparkling grape juice (I wasn't going to risk the wine) and headed over to a quieter corner of the castle, a place where I wouldn't be seen and I could quietly slip away.

The music here confused me. Happy pop songs were mixed in with classical music. Condolot was weird, but I had to admit, this was sort of fun. I leaned against the wall, happy to be alone in this small, circular room. If anyone had told me that I would have been here and what I would be doing just a few months ago, I would have told them that they were crazy.

"Need to get away?" My eyes flash over and I see Rusty, still looking perfect, his gaze avoiding mine.

"A little bit too much partying," I say. I finish off the last of my juice and say, "What are you doing here?"

A new song strikes up; it's rock. He shrugs and says, "I have to leave soon. I'd thought I'd find you and tell you what the plan was."

_Yeah, since I'm king, letting me in on the battle plan would be a smart move, _I respond in my head sarcastically, but I stuff it down and say, "Um…yeah…whatcha got?"

He moved closer, right next to me. "I'm still going to pose as a servant, but I plan to get as close to Evin as possible. If all goes right, Terrence says I might actually be able to…"

"To what?" I ask, wondering if I want to know any more of Terrence's big ideas.

"To seduce her." He says. When I look utterly baffled, he shakes his head and says, "Nothing distracts a teenage girl more than infatuation. The closer I get to her, the more information she'll relay me."

"You had better be a good actor," I say, leaving my glass on a table nearby.

He chuckles. "That, your majesty, is something I'm really good at."

I pause in my steps. Was that a threat, a warning, or both?

He fiddles with his hands and I listen to the song. Something about these lyrics is familiar.

"_Pretty girl is offering while he confesses everything, __Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about, a__nd that's what you get for falling again, y__ou can never get him out of your head. __And that's what you get for falling again, y__ou can never get him out of your head…"_

Rusty laughs softly and bitterly, as if recalling old memories. "What?" I ask, a little annoyed.

He shakes his head, smiling. "I haven't heard this song since I went out with your sister, back before…" His eyes go wide and Rusty falls silent. He clamps his mouth shut, as if he let something slip he hadn't meant to. Confused, my mind starts churning.

Go out with my sister…

The amber eyes, the badly dyed hair, the pointed teeth…I know who he is. Sudden fury rips through me, utter disbelief; my hand is at his throat and pinning him up against the wall before he's had another chance to make a move.

"You friggin backstabber," I whisper, my teeth clenched. "What's the matter, didn't like your old name so you had to change it to something else, Yuck?"

"That's not my name anymore! I'm a different person," he says, gagging on his words.

"Sure you are," I murmur. "You've completely changed, haven't you? After all, I'm sure your heart turned good after you messed around with my sister."

"Yang, back off now before I have to hurt you," he warns.

I let out a laugh. "You, hurt me? Now that's a joke. If I were you I'd hussle my bad a-"

"You asked for it," he said. He puts my hands on mine and they're suddenly burning, as if he took a brand to them. Fists of fire. Overcome with pain, I drop to the floor and Rain, Dad and Terrence, who hear me screaming, rush into the room.

Rusty's hanging from the roof. "I hope you'll believe that I really am on your side now. Yuck is dead, and Rusty is the real me. Watch your mirror and you'll see who I've turned into. I regret having to leave so early." Before I can manage to scrape myself off the ground, he's fled.

As soon as he's gone (and there's no possibility that I could ever catch up) I round on Terrence. "HIM!?" I scream. "YOU LET HIM, A TRAITOR, IN HERE AND THINK HE'S GOING TO WORK FOR US? I DON"T THINK SO!!!"

"Open up your mind, stupid boy, can't you see we need him?" Terrence hisses.

"I need him like I need a hole in my head!" I shouted. I then looked at my father; my anger was sparked the second I saw his identical eyes. "AND YOU! YOU KNEW, AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME? YOUR OWN DAUGHTER HAD HER HEART BROKEN BY THAT…THAT…"

"Yang, calm down," Rain says, panic in her eyes.

"I MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT-"

"I found him on the side of the road, half starving to death! After I saved his life he made a pact with me! He wouldn't turn on us now!" Terrence screams back.

I let out a loud laugh. "Yeah, sure, that's what he wants you to think."

"Think like a warrior, not like a child," Terrence snaps.

"GET OUT!" I yell at all of them, grabbing a vase and throwing it at Terrence's head. He scurries out of there and so does my father. I never gave him much experience with a tantrum throwing teenager, and if I was ever throwing a fit, right now was it. Absolutely everyone leaves.

Everyone except Rain. She knows that she has to stay, to try and calm me down.

"What were they thinking?" I scream again, pacing back and forth. "He's going to betray us, he practically killed Yin when he left her…"

"Yang…" Rain whimpers.

"Not to mention that he's practically puking up the evil all over the place, how do we know he's not spying for them? Oh that's brilliant, another amazing move by Terrence the wonder boy…"

"Yang…"

"Sure, we can trust him, sure, he can be our spy, oh yeah, just as long as you don't remember that he carved out your sister's emotions and played with them like they were chew toys!"

"Yang!"

"WHAT!" I say, rounding on her too.

Her voice quivers. "You're scaring me."

Tears are making her way slowly down her face. That one little word, the word that I threw at her, has broken her. I've crushed her in one sentence. She begins to crumple apart, still looking dazzling, but heartbreakingly injured, in that pretty gown of hers.

My insult has whirled around and smacked me right in the face. I know how it feels to be yelled at like that, and now I just did it to her. I don't know who's in more pain right now; her or me.

"I'm so sorry Rain," I whisper. I envelop my arms around her and we both sink to the floor as the last song plays. Rusty is long gone by now, half way back to Evin's castle and, I hope, still working for me.

_Probably the longest chapter I have ever written for this. Hope you guys liked it, and, as a disclaimer, I do not own When You Look Me In the Eyes by the Jonas Brothers nor Pretty Girl (The Way) by Sugarcult. Next chapter will be very…well, it'll be something, you can be sure of that…_


	4. One and the Same

I was leaning against the banisters, totally bored and looking at my nails. Life here at the castle is so boring; I'm shut up all the time with these dumb little mouse-like servants with nothing to do but complain about things. I want to get out of here, to simply roam the area around now and then, but mother won't allow me to.

The giant front door opens and I peek over to see who it is. As I recognize the tall figure a smile spreads through my lips. Perfect. Just the distraction I need. Rusty is back, our little double agent. The stupid Condoletians think that he's spying for them, but it's all backwards. Little do they know Mother and I have him wrapped around our fingers.

A flush rises up in my cheeks as I watch him carry his one bag down the hall and to his room. He is so hot…

"Whatever Evin wants…" I hummed, my smile getting bigger. "Evin gets. And little man…little Evin…wants you."

I made sure my dress was as high on my hips as it could be without being totally raunchy. As I make my way down the hallway the _opposite_ way I grab Rusty by the arm and say, "Rusty! You're back from your trip!"

"I told you I would be," he says, smiling. "Did I lie?"

I beam back. He thinks I'm so cute, but little does he know, this little girl is about to turn all woman. "Of course not. I'm glad I sent you to spy on those little Condoletian rats. What all did they say?"

"Not altogether too much," he shrugs. "Though I do have some valuable information for your mother."

The promise of finding out facts about my enemy is enough to make me bloodthirsty, but my lust is stronger. "Oh Rusty," I laugh. "You're all business."

"Not always," he says. "But if you excuse me, I really do have to get going."

"Are you sure you don't want me to get me anything, Rusty?" I ask, my voice slithering over him. I press my body up against his so he has to brace himself up against the wall until I'm leaning so far into him that every part of us is touching, heart to heart and pelvis-to-pelvis.

"No thank you, miss," Rusty says, and I can feel how his heartbeat speeds up under my hands.

"Oh come on now," I say in that perfectly teasing voice of mine. "Just a little kiss or two…I am a princess, you know."

"Your half brother would not approve," he says flatly.

I am appalled at the thought of the boy, and I shove Rusty away, disgusted. "Him! What do I care what he thinks!"

"Keep your friends close but your enemies closer," he says, walking away from me and going into his bedroom.

I stand outside his doorframe. I'm strictly forbidden to go into any man's quarters…but Rusty isn't really a man yet, and I'm almost a queen. I do what I want, and Mother never has to know. I'm not going to let this servant get away.

He puts away his things without another second glance. I suppress a huff and try to remain calm. "So, Rusty…about those plans…"

"Only for your mother, dearest princess," he reminds me.

"I'm tired of my mother having the only say! I want a bit of info here!" I stomp my foot, losing my patience.

"Not if I plan to be alive the next morning," Rusty says, and he falls back on the hammock where he sleeps at night, tossing a crumpled up piece of paper up and down.

I grit my teeth. How can he ignore me like this? I'm irresistible! I wave my hair around and say, "Well anyway, you owe me something. You told me awhile ago that you would fill me in on…on what we talked about."

"And what was that?" He asks, his lips twitching in amusement.

"You know!" I shout. Then, so not anybody else can hear, I lean down and whisper, "My memory."

"Oh yes," he grins. "Why you can't remember anything as of recently?"

"Keep it down!" I hiss. "I don't want the rest of those slobber-noses to find out!"

Rusty shrugs. "I've already told you all I know, so why do you keep bugging me about it?"

"Because I know that there's something you're not telling me," I insist.

"You hit your head when you fell down the stairs," Rusty says, reciting it as if it was a learned line.

I thrummed my fingers against the wall. All thought of making out with Rusty is over now, as my attention has been turned to more important matters. Fell down the stairs? I know it happened, but yet…"Maybe," I respond.

"What do you mean, maybe?"

"Well, I can't exactly remember anything about falling and there's no cut…"

"Of course you don't remember, the bump caused you to forget-" Rusty said, then stopped himself. I could swear he was going to tack on the word "duh" to the end of that sentence. If he would have, he would have been roasted on the spot by yours truly, but as it is, his sassy tongue only makes me want him more. But none of that now.

"Do you remember how I hit, Rusty?" I asked, walking around and looking at myself in his mirror.

His face turns white in the reflection. "Yes. It was awful. You came tumbling all the way down three flights and smashed your head up against the banister. You could hear your skull crack, it was so bad. There was blood everywhere. It was a good thing your mother came flying down the stairs at the last second to heal you. A lot of people thought you weren't going to make it. I mean, for the hit you took, a little bit of lost memory is getting away with it easy."

"Not easy for me," I say. "Try not remembering the first fourteen years of your life."

"At least you're not dead," Rusty said sharply and snappishly. I am so shocked my his tone I recoil backwards; I'm not used to people speaking to me like that. Offended, I bring a hairbrush out of my dress pocket and pretend that I never heard what he said.

Rusty lets out a low laugh. "Oh dearest princess, you are so very vain. You nearly remind me of someone, but it was a girl who was much more kinder and gentler than you are, though she had your fighting spirit."

If my mother were here he'd be beheaded in an instant. I slam the brush down and say, "Oh really now? Who?"

A melancholy look takes over his face. "Your sister Yin."

The answer was not what I expected. "Oh," I say. I feel a wave of jealousy but submerge it. My emotions, for once, aren't as important as getting information out of him. I pick the brush back up and ask, "Was she beautiful, then? My half sister?"

"As gorgeous as you are." Rusty says, not daring to look me in the eye. Something's off about him; once he started talking about that…Yin…he got that same look in his eyes that Eliosen always got for Belladonna. It was the way that I wanted him to look at me, even though so far I wasn't getting it. "Did you love her?" I questioned abruptly.

Rusty still wouldn't look at me. "Yes, I did. I did love her."

"And…?"

"And we broke up. Or rather, I broke her heart."

"Why'd you leave?"

He looked away. "Her brother didn't want me around, and I had a bad history with her already. I was using her, in all reality. I didn't realize the hugeness of my mistake until after it happened. A beautiful girl like that, and I let her get away."

My heart is struck several chords. "That's awful!" I burst. "It's just another reason to hate the guy!"

"Are you forgetting that I used her in the process?" Rusty asks, looking my way.

"You have nothing to do with it. I may have done the same in your position," I say, crossing my arms. Rusty's sin is nothing compared to the over protectiveness of that filth Yang. I use people too. It only proves we are that much more alike.

"You're too hard on him," Rusty says. "You barely know him."

"Excuse me? He would have Mother and I thrown in a cell forever if he could! Not that it's possible, the little shrimpy git," I say.

"Come now, be reasonable."

But I will not be. I am stubborn, and I stubbornly refuse to take _his_ side. My stupid half-brother. I will say it as many times as I please. My pathetic, idiotic nitwit…

I see it; I see him in my mind. I follow him throughout the halls of his castle, away from his family and the guards. Alone, he goes to the dresser drawer and pulls out a small, thin blade. He holds it to his skin for a full five minutes, and I don't breathe for the anticipation, but he seems to think better of it. He takes it away and puts it back into the drawer. He is unharmed.

When I come back down to earth Rusty looks at me, and the disgust that is obvious on my face prompts him to speak. "You hate it, don't you? The ability to see him and what he is doing. The connection between you both is strong, but undesired. You can't change it. Might as well use it."

"He was going to injure himself again," I moan. "I don't want to see that!"

"Why not? Don't you hate him?" he asks.

I don't answer. For some reason, I don't like to watch him get hurt, however silly that may be. I'm pretty sure that would change if I was the one doing the hurting, but still.

I pause. "Does he think about it often?" I ask. "The urge to cut himself, I mean? How often is he tempted?"

It takes awhile for Rusty to answer. "Everyday."

"How do you know?" I ask.

"My dear," he chuckles, "His father may think he can hide everything behind long-sleeved robes, but the anguish on his face is all too plain to see."

"He has it so hard, doesn't he?" I sneer.

"Yes he does."

"Oh please! If he had to live my life, being stuck here all the time…"

"With servants waiting on you hand and foot, oh yes, difficult life," Rusty teases.

I whirl around and throw my brush at him. It misses, but only by an inch. "You don't know me! You don't know what my life is like!"

"And you don't know his, so why won't you try to see it through his eyes?" Rusty asked gently.

"I don't have to, because I know how he is. I feel sorry for his sister, even if she is dead. She ended up getting the short end of the stick. She should have switched over to the right side when she had the chance."

"And what side is that?" Rusty raises an eyebrow.

"Our side, Einstein," I growl.

"But of course," he says. "I've known you now what, all my life?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask, completely thrown off by the change of subject.

"You and I have a long history, Evin," Rusty says. "You know that."

"Always."

"So you know that I cannot love you like that."

Silence. "I beg your pardon?" I ask.

"You are my princess and country, but nothing more to me," Rusty says. "Perhaps friends, but that's it. You understand that."

I am cowed. I have never been rejected before. I straighten my backbone and say, "I could never go for a oily towel boy like you."

"What was that in the hallway then," Rusty asks.

"A game," I roll my eyes. "I was toying with you. Like always."

"But of course." Rusty sighs and doesn't look at me, and I take that it is my cue to leave. Me. The princess of Pakavel. I am being dismissed.

That does not go in my book.

I stand there and wait until I feel like leaving. Without bothering to look and see if I'm still even there he whispers, "Oh Yin. What a terrible injustice I did to you."

"You know Rusty, you always have me," I say, batting my eyelashes and giving it one more try.

His face has absolutely no emotion. "I guess so."

Bam. That hurt. I feel my eyes welling up with tears, as if an old hurt is coming back to me again. He was right, he is a heartbreaker. But warlords don't cry, so I dismiss myself. Before I can go, however, Rusty gets off his hammock and gives me a box wrapped up in a blanket. "Here," Rusty says, placing it gently in my hands. "This is for you. It was your sisters, and I think you two will find something in common with it."

"Um…thank you," I say. He has somehow managed to get the last word. Up in my room that night I unwrap the blanket and look at the object; it is a music box. Dusty, old and used, but still a music box. I wonder if it still works.

As I open up the box I find a CD inside. I take it out and shut it, drowning out the lullaby about "thinking of me and never being far away" or some crap like that. I put the scratched CD into my large stereo, expecting to hear some sort of brash teeny bopper tunes.

What I get is anything but. Soft piano music begins to play, and I listen intently as familiar lyrics rise out of the stereo.

"_Sometimes I think about you  
Wonder if you're out there somewhere thinking bout me  
And would you even recognize_

_The woman that your little girl has grown up to be  
Cause I look in the mirror and all I see  
Are your brown eyes looking back at me  
They're the only thing you ever gave to me at all_

Oh, I hear the weather's nice in California  
There's sunny skies as far I can see  
If you ever come back home to Carolina  
I wonder what you'd say to me

I think about how it ain't fair  
That you weren't there to braid my hair  
Like mothers do  
You weren't around to cheer me on  
Help me dress for my high school prom  
Like mothers do  
Did you think I didn't need you here  
To hold my hand  
To dry my tears  
Did you even miss me through the years at all?

_Oh, I hear the weather's nice in California  
There's sunny skies as far I can see  
If you ever come back home to Carolina  
I wonder what you'd say to me__...when you've been hurt..._

Forgiveness is such a simple word  
But it's so hard to do...

Oh, I hear the weather's nice in California  
And just in case you're wondering about me  
From now on I won't be in Carolina  
Your little girl is off  
Your little girl is off  
Your little girl is off to Tennessee…"

I Wonder by Kellie Pickler. I had never given this song much thought before, but now that I have heard it this time around, it gives me a new meaning. This is how Yin must have felt, when Mother ditched her. It takes me only a minute to realize that this is how I feel too.

I look at the CD Rusty has given me as it twirls around in the player. I feel drawn to it, connected. For some reason, I'm not very jealous of Yin at all anymore. She seems a lot like me almost. Ignored in her mother's eyes, pushed aside, beautiful and intelligent but having to go seek the comfort of her father and other men, instead of getting it from the woman she adored the most. Poor Yin and I are practically identical…I should have been her twin instead of that oafish boy.

I close my eyes and sigh. I hate to admit it; hate to admit any of it with the entire core of my being, but Rusty and I go far far back, much farther than I would sometimes care to admit. I've liked him for years now…I tried to suppress it, of course, and lie to myself to tell myself it wasn't true. I managed to somehow convince myself of that, and I'm still trying to convince myself that I only want his body, and not his mind nor his heart.

I can't help but to think it; he needs me, obviously, but I think I need him more.

This is NOT on Evin's agenda. Evin needs no one. Evin stands alone. She is dependent on nobody.

Nobody but a cute little red head with a pair of adorable eyes.

These emotions are so conflicting that I turn to something that I know I can feel: anger. I bite my lip, my rage rising. Yang the super kid killed her. He got it right. He killed his sister, the girl that I could identify with better than anybody else in this world. I was measuring myself up to a dead girl, and even counting myself equal with her. I never even had the chance to meet her. Couldn't visit her grave either, because nobody knew where her body was. My mother had been the one who pitched her off the cliff, but I bet that she really didn't know what she was doing. Just trying to protect me, I'm betting. One thing that everybody knows is that, for all her power, Mom isn't always right in the head.

The CD continues playing and I clench my fists. No, it wasn't Mother's fault. It was Yang's. That fool thinks that he can punish himself for his sister's death, but it's nothing. I'll avenge her. Avenge the forgotten girl that didn't get her chance. Her life was extinguished. It was unfair, and he thinks he can make the guilt go away by making the pain stronger. Well, I've got news for him. What he can do to himself will be nothing compared to what I'll put him through, he can be sure of that.

_Wow…I'm surprised that I even wrote this…it's…wow. Read and review please, back to Yang's POV next chap! As always, I own no songs mentioned!_


	5. Possibilities That Are Slim

"Come on, you little brat," My dad hisses, and he stares into the mirror, watching as the unseen Evin tempts Rusty. The screen soon grows black though and fades; not even the mirror can show everything.

"He did a very good job of resisting her," Terrence says, contemplating. "With a personality like Evin's that's only going to make her want him more."

"Or chase her away," Rain said, looking at the mirror with distaste.

"Nonsense. Our plan is foolproof," Terrence says, raising his wine glass and chugging from it.

"That's what you said about the _last _one," Dad growls, turning to Terrence. My uncle pretends not to hear and simply drinks more juice.

I turned away, kind of feeling queasy in the stomach. Even though I can't see Evin, I can hear the tone of her voice and I know what she wants. I may not know a whole lot about romance, but I am male and I'm not stupid. It's obvious I'm not giving Yuck…Rusty, I mean…enough credit. There are too many guys out there who couldn't resist that kind of temptation.

Yet would I know? The only girl I've ever liked like I can't do anything with. Not that I would want to. I mean, I would, it would be nice, but…

Okay. Let's define what I do and do not want. I do want to kiss her and hold her hand and stuff like that. But going all the way? Absolutely not. That kind of behavior is reserved for marriage. Zip, zada, done.

Not for Evin though. She's practically throwing herself at the guy. We obviously differ in beliefs a whole lot.

I exited, leaving all of them behind while Rain trailed instinctively behind me. I simply grasped my sword and entered the empty courtyard, the dawning of day brimming on the horizon. Unsheathing my weapon I take a deep breath, and begin whacking targets.

As I begin hitting the things a calmness enters me, a strength and a healing that I can't explain. This is what happened when I was broken hearted, injured, sick. I did what I did best, and that was be a fantastic swordsman. I lived for moments like this, when there was nothing else I could do but give into the emotion of the moment and let it all out, and become free. Just become nothing but the sword in my hand, merge together with it as one until all my problems were over and I didn't even know who I was anymore. This was forgetting. This was bliss. There was nothing but me and movement, beautiful, sweet fluid movement. Nothing else in the world mattered, because I couldn't remember anything else. This is where I came when I needed to forget about life for awhile.

I could feel the hurt drain away from me. This is what I was made for. This is my purpose. I was always trying to do something else, trying to save the world in my own way. I didn't know myself at all. I was always ignoring my talents, and always undermining what I could really do…

This is how God created me.

I blast away one final target with a broad backswing and turn towards Rain, who is watching me with a calm expression. I'm sweating, so much that I take off my shirt. I wonder if Rain would care but the expression on her face doesn't change. I hand the sword to her hilt-first and ask, "Want to try?"

She grasps it silently and I take her place, watching as her snow-like movements penetrate the targets and the demons of my heart.

*

_Grasp the blade…one more time one more time…addiction…so hard to resist. It's seventy one days, you can fall now. It doesn't matter, just one more cut won't hurt, that's it…_

_Oh no…too deep…_

I wake up with a gasp, the sheets wet with perspiration. Immediately I yank down my sleeves and check my arms…same scars as before, with nothing new. My stomach, my legs, my back…all clean. False alarm. Bad dream.

Midnight falls upon the palace…it's another sleepless night. After a dream like that there's no use in trying to go back to sleep; might as well go to the mirror room and see what Evin's up to.

I wrap my robe around me and shuffle to the upper tower, opening the door (why is it unlocked? Terrence must have been in here…) and peer into the blackness that is the enchanted reflection.

Strangely, it seems like our little princess can't sleep either. Even though I can't see her (still! Stupid protection magic of my Mom's!) I can hear her voice; she's talking to someone. As I draw closer the voices get louder, and I lean in to hear what they are saying.

"How do you know this?" Evin says, her voice a sharp snap.

This happened a few hours ago; twilight is still on the horizon in the mirror. A sneaky looking spy bows and says, "Believe me miss, I know everything that goes on in the kingdom."

"If that was true you'd know everything about my snivelly little-"

I blank her out as she goes on in another nasally rant about me. The spy smiles and says, "Oh touché. There's a little girl hiding in the woods of Pakavel, a little girl who you would like very much to know…"

"Get to the point." Evin barks.

The spy giggles. "Everlightayin, my dear. There is a possibility that she could be alive. A very minute possibility at that, perhaps a hundred to one. Everlightayin could be hiding. Or rather, Evernightayin…"

The mirror blanks out and so do I. Evernightayin, alive.

No. That was impossible. Yin was dead. I saw her die myself. But yet…

We never found the body.

Then…there could be a possibility that Yin could still be alive.

I am silent, then my silence turns to whooping. I jump up and down cheerfully, screaming my joy to the world. I don't care if I wake up the whole castle, my baby sister could be alive, alive! I'm cheering, doing cartwheels, bouncing off the walls and absolutely acting crazy.

But in the middle of all my rejoicing, I pause. Looking in the dark mirror, I know one thing for certain.

Evin wants to get to Yin as fast as I do…she knows she has to reach her before me. If she does, she stands a high chance of convincing her to cross over to the dark side. Evin could trick, lie, "It wasn't your mother who threw you off the bridge," or, "Your brother's dead," or perhaps, "Everyone in your family left you to die. I'm the only one who actually cares."

Yeah. I wouldn't put it past her. From what I've seen while watching in the mirror Evin will do anything to have Yin go on the other side. Hate as much as I do to say it, if my sister is still alive then there is a decent chance she'll go to my mom, if Evin plays her cards right. Yin will remember how we were bickering all the time, how she didn't like Rain and how we didn't even attempt to try and dig her out of the rock, thinking she was already dead.

I start walking to the study. I have to tell my Dad. He's got to know this info right away.

"Dad!" I cry, bursting into the room. "Dad I have to tell you-"

"You don't have to tell me anything, I already know," Dad says, interrupting me before I even have a chance to speak.

"You know Yin's alive?" I say, breathless.

Dad's face is sad, not happy. "No Yang. It doesn't change a thing. She's still dead."

I've used it before and I'll use it again. He could have punched me and the blow wouldn't have hurt more than that statement. "Are you crazy? Of course she's-"

"She got buried under rock when she fell from the cliff," he whispered, explaining it to me as if I was never there. "If she was still alive we would have known it long ago."

"There's a good chance," I say, resisting his pessimism, his bullheaded stubbornness…

"No," Dad says, and I can practically hear my heart break, not for the first time. "We had the funeral Yang, it's over. Your sister's not coming back."

"She probably already thinks we abandoned her under all that rock, and that's why she never bothered to see us," I protested, crossing my arms.

"Son, have you gone insane? Your picture was on the news for weeks when you went missing, she would have seen it and no matter how mad or upset she was with us she would have come rushing back to find you. You know it."

I turned away. I did. Yin cared about me too much to just erase the fact that I was putting my life on the line…or did she? "You sure seem certain," I snap back.

"You honestly think Yin would do that to you? She _loved you_ Yang."

"And I love her enough to keep her alive."

"More like you don't love her enough to let her go." Dad stated calmly.

"What do you know about it? You know nothing about how I felt for her! You were the one who held me back from digging her out!"

"You would have died along with her."

"There's a possibility that she's not dead!"

"By what? A rumor started in Trinity's kingdom to get you distracted on what you really should be focusing on?"

"You think I wanted this?" I scream, and I tear my crown off my head, pitching it across the room. "Anyone can take it, have it, I don't care anymore! All I want is…is…"

The room goes silent. I fall into a ball on the floor and whisper, "All I want is my sister."

Dad looks at me sympathetically. "You may accept it or not, but the facts are that she's gone. Don't let your memory of her be tainted by false hopes planted by your mother."

I bite my lip. "Better that then to have my hopes of her squashed by my father."

"Yang…"

I burst out of the room and head up to the one place that I need to go to, to the free girl that I can always run to and always do.

I pull back her bed curtains and she shields her eyes from my light. "Yang, what is it? It's got to be three in the morning…"

"Rain," I plead. "Rain, you've got to help me."

_Happy Easter all! Read and Review please, and may you all be blessed! Back to Evin next time...muhahaha_


	6. I'll Rub Your Face With This Toad!

"Come on now Rusty, move faster!" I ordered, waving a branch around behind him. Behind the castle in the dark, swampy and dank woods of Pakavel are we, tramping through the trees in a mission so deep and dark that only I know about it.

I've snuck out to find my sister Yin. The spy told me she was hiding in these woods somewhere; probably lost, tired, and hungry. She'll be ecstatic when I find her, take her in and comfort her…she'll worship at my feet, even though technically she is a full year older than me.

Plus I'll end up beating out my bumbling half-brother. Cha-ching, double points for me! I've got a head-start, the twit!

Rusty, who is escorting me at my orders, is grumbling all the way. I made him carry my bag full of stuff too, and he has no idea why we're out here. Little does he know, we're going to keep on coming out here for weeks if we have to, until we either find her body, have proof that she's really dead, or bring her to the castle alive.

"Princess, I can only go so fast," Rusty says, sweat falling down his face. "I thought you weren't allowed out of the palace?"

I smile. "You forgot. Whatever I want, I get. All I have to do is ask Mother for it and she'll hand it to me, and if she doesn't then I'll just end up getting it some other way. Mother will never know, and the servants are all to scared of me to tell. Whatever Evin wants…"

"Okay okay, I've heard that song a thousand times since we've been out here!" Rusty says, hardly able to bear it anymore. "Why are we even in the woods in the first place?"

I halt in my tracks. Rusty had barely stopped asking me questions since we had managed to sneak out of the castle. He wasn't buying the whole, "I want to see the outside world," thing anymore, not within the last half an hour. He had me figured out that I would never be clomping around in this guck if I didn't have to be. I was frightened that if I told him the truth, that we were looking for my sister, that he would abandon me. Then again, if he did my mother's assassins would hunt him down, and if he knew about Yin that would make him ten times more eager for the hunt…

"I got some inside information the other day," I said, and Rusty turned to face me. "She told me that Yin was in these woods, alive."

Rusty's mouth falls open. "Alive? But…but how could that be? Evin, we all know she was-"

"I know what happened, don't bitter me with details!" I snapped. "But the point is, there's a chance. Shouldn't that be good enough for you?"

Rusty stares at me for a minute. Then his face sags in relief and he runs a hand through his hair, beaming broadly. "Of course it is! Yin, a possibility that she's okay-"

"I didn't say okay, I said alive," I said, crushing whatever hopes he has. "If that. But if she is, we're going to find her, and we're going to find her _first. _Ugh!" I yell, lifting my brand new boot out of the murky puddle I stepped in. "Fabulous! These were diamond studded leather!"

"Why were you bothering to wear them out here then?" Rusty asks, raising his eyebrow.

"Shut up. They were the worst pair I had."

"The worst?!"

"Help me up," I order, and he pulls my one leg out of the water. I straighten the crown on my head and say, "Stupid Yang. It's _his_ fault that I messed up a perfectly happy boot!"

"Is there anything you _don't _blame him for?" Rusty groans, pulling twigs out of his hair.

I sniffed. "Yes. I blame you for leading us down this dreadful path. Now again, move faster!"

He clenched his mouth tighter and I hiked up my skirts. This was despicable for me to be doing, a princess clomping through the swamp like some sort of crocodile.

"I hope I've never done any of this before," I say, sniffing. "Although I do seem to recall hiking through some sort of muck, so sadly and most pitifully I must have done some sort of trekking in my past. I wish my memory would return, so I can banish all of these miserable doubts!" I throw my hand over my face dramatically, playing it up as much as I can, if not for Rusty then for the moment.

"If you miss your memory so much why don't you just ask your mother to restore it for you when we get back?" Rusty said, stepping over a toad.

I wrinkled my nose with distaste at the warty creature, then looked up at Rusty. "That is the best idea you've had all day. Well done. Now carry me.

"What?"

"I said carry me. That's an order."

"You can't be serious. You can hover off the ground if you want!"

"I know, but I want you to carry me. Less effort."

"Dear princess-"

"Carry me or your face will be rubbed with this toad," I say, hovering the amphibian and placing it close to his nose as a threat. He nods regretfully and I drop the thing into the water, where it lets out a loud croak.

"Poor toad never deserved to be rubbed with your face," I say, sticking out my lip. He sighs, bends down and I climb on his back, happily smothering my cheek into his shirt.

"So do you have any idea where Yin is?" Rusty asks, and I can hear the hope in his voice.

"No…" I mumble, sucking in his scent. He smells like old metal machinery, smoke and motor oil…delicious.

"This isn't just a ploy, is it?" Rusty says, halting in his tracks.

"What ploy?" I say sweetly.

"A ploy to spend a bunch of time with me. Princess, I swear if it is, I'll drop you in this mud puddle!" Rusty threatens.

"I'm not lying, it's the truth! How dare you insult me!" I say, furious.

"Are you sure?"

"No, I'm not sure, it's just a dumb little girl trick. Of course I'm sure! I wouldn't be wasting my time in these woods if I didn't! And believe me sweetie, if there was a way I wanted to spend time with you inside the castle, I could do it."

"Yeah, you could," Rusty grumbled. "But why do you want to find Yin?"

I shrug. "Not really sure. She seems a lot like me, and a sister sounds like fun. Plus, it's a chance for our side to have even more power to rub in kingy king of Condolot's face."

"His name is Yang."

"I know what his name is!"

"Wait!" Rusty says, freezing. "I think I hear something."

I pause too. "What do you think…hey!" I scream as Rusty drops me off his back and I land in a puddle. "Where do you think you're going?" I ask.

He doesn't answer. I lift myself out of the water, dripping, only to find him come glumly trotting back to me, his frown deepened.

"Sorry," he says.

"Sorry! Sorry doesn't cut it! What was all that for?" I ask.

"I…I thought I saw something in the trees."

"Something in the trees," I repeat.

"I…it was Yin. Or at least, I think it was."

"Oh sure. A young girl running through the forest, oh wee!" I say, pretending to skip.

"It looked enough like her," he said, frowning.

I peer around. I then point to another puddle nearby, saying, "It was my reflection on the water, you boob. You saw the back of my head and thought it was Yin, and because the sun hit it the wrong way, it made it look like I was running."

"Are you sure?" Rusty asks for the second time that day, sounding truly disappointed.

"Yes. Well now I know where your loyalties lie," I bark nastily, brushing off my skirts.

He bows. "My apologies, princess."

"Don't do it again, or you're not coming next time!" I threaten.

His face instantly goes into panic. "No, Evin, please, I must look for Yin, I swear I'll…"

"You dare use my real name?" I ask. I am secretly pleased he did; it gives me a thrill to hear it. Nevertheless, I have to remain in control here.

His face slackens. "Evin, really. We're…we're friends now, aren't we? On the same level?"

"A peasant such as you could never be equal to me," I say, twirling in my dress. "But I suppose you _may _call me Evin. And you can keep coming to look for your lost precious. On one condition."

"Anything."

"Carry me back," I smile. "Dinner is almost ready at the palace."

This time he doesn't sigh; he just picks me right up and off we go.

The ride to the castle is nice, but I'm thinking too much to really enjoy it. I'm wondering if I should break my promise to Rusty now…he obviously would ditch me anytime for her, and he's only doing what I ask when I ask it because he wants to find her. Maybe I'll ask Hamma to come with me tomorrow instead…no. I want to travel with him. He's the best I've got, and besides…I inhale his scent again…he's the only one worth wasting my time with.

*

"Don't you ever remember tossing anyone off a cliff?" I ask my mother, standing in the library with no suitors around. I've been asking her many questions for the past few hours; luckily for me, she hasn't lost her patience yet.

Mother cocks her head on the chair, seemingly confused. "No such thing," she shook her head.

Hm. So she didn't remember pitching Yin over the side. She wouldn't be angry then if I found my half sister alive. Betting Yin was still alive, of course, because that would be really annoying if she wasn't, after all the effort I was putting in for her.

I clear my throat. "Mother, I was wondering, one of my servants said you could…um…restore my memory for me? When I fell?"

Her face softened. "Do you doubt me, Evin?"

As odd as it sounds, actual guilt flooded through me for mistrusting my own mom. I was afraid for a minute she would make up some excuse or become angry, but she simply reached out her hand and touched it to the center of my forehead, not bothering to blink or move a single muscle in her face.

Memories started flooding back…two, taking my first wobbly steps down the brand new castle in Pakavel that Mother had built especially for me, leaving the old one in ruins…myself at eight playing with my father Eradicus in the courtyard, my mother braiding flowers into my hair at twelve for my birthday...

"I do not doubt you, my mother," I said proudly, straightening up. "Now if you don't mind, I would beg to leave you now, for I have a gift to bring you in the near future that you would be most pleased with, if I can find it."

"You can go," Mother smiled and I left her quickly, shutting her door. I beamed. My memory was back, I was back, and life was better than ever. Even cooler, Mom couldn't even remember hurting Yin. How happy would Mother be when she discovered that she had two daughters in her house?

_I would like to personally thank you guys for all the wonderful comments I'm getting. I love them so much, you all rock! All of your reviews keep me going and help me be able to write better, because what I love is hearing what you guys have to say good or bad. Thanks again! Next time, back to Condolet…_


	7. I Can't Keep It Inside Forever

I wiped my eyes on my sleeve, hiking my bag over my shoulder and trekking to the stables, to saddle up Shiuh and walk out on my kingdom to find my sister. It was the middle of the night again; this time I never even bothered sleeping. I cried harder as I made my way farther and farther away from the castle and farther and farther away from Rain, each step pounding in my head like a drum.

I was crying because Rain had turned me away.

She refused to believe that my idea was true. That Yin was alive, instead of dead. Even more crushing, she refused to come help me look for her.

As always, I was on my own.

It took me only minutes to get my gear on Shiuh. He seemed puzzled at this late-night ride, but he didn't fidget. The horse somehow knew that tonight was a sacred night, a special one in which no questions were to be answered.

Shiuh's water bucket was full. I didn't think he would be needing any food; he could eat the grass we found along the way.

As I tightened the cinch on Shiuh a sob escaped me and I bent over, feeling sick. Dad had denied me the hope to even think my sister was alive. He snapped at me nearly every second, trying to fix me over and over again with the ways he knew and then yelling at me when they didn't go right. Terrence bullied me; he used me for plans that he formulated, didn't tell anybody about, and then after the victim was lured into the trap and the genius ideas fell apart, he left whoever his main pawn was to deal with it. Lina, Mark, Emily and all of my other friends I hadn't heard from in about a year…my mother was gone…my subjects both loved me and hated me at the same time, Yin was dead/missing/otherwise known as gone and my other sister was my worst enemy.

And Rain had let me down. When she had said she never would.

I put my head against Shiuh. Yes, I was hurt. I was hurt beyond all belief. I was hurt so much that I was beginning to hate, something that I never wanted to do, and something that I despised doing beyond all being. Hate couldn't forgive…it couldn't love, it couldn't help. Hating tears you apart. Yet I was so angry at the world, and so angry at my friends, that all my suppressed and upset feelings were turning to hate.

Half a lifetime of injured losses and a history of cutting myself had finally caught up with me, in what was perhaps one of the worst ways possible. As it was, could I trust anyone? My confidence was shattered enough.

I bit my lip and shook my head. I was getting along better with strangers then I was with my own friends these days. _What friends? _My mind asked and I choked, my throat swelling up. My friends cared about me, didn't they?

I watched my reflection in the water bucket. Of course they did…they had to. Then again…Mother had told me all the time when I was young that she loved me, and look at what had happened. Being king, and being a teenager, did I even know who my friends were anymore?

I sighed. Even if they didn't care about me, they couldn't stop me from caring about them. A lot. Everyone hurt you. Promises made were promises broken. Maybe they didn't mean to break them, and in the process accidentally break my heart. But love didn't keep a tally mark and love surpassed all wrongs. I had to believe it would get me through this…even if I had to let them go at some point in my life.

I crossed my arms. So many things were bottled up, and I never let them out because I didn't want to hurt anyone else's feelings. It was fine if I was torn to pieces in the process, just as long as nobody else had to suffer.

Talk about a martyr.

I kicked some straw. Why should I keep my end of the bargain? Rain hadn't kept hers. She had promised to always be here for me, and she went away. How can I uphold a forgotten piece of an unspoken pact that we had made, that I wouldn't hurt myself as long as she was always there for me?

I slowed my kicking. It didn't matter if Rain hadn't kept her promise. I was still holding myself to mine, and if I broke now then I would be the one going back on my word.

I washed my face one more time and then started leading Shiuh, ready to go. This was it. I was going to find Yin, and I was either going to bring her back alive with me or I was bringing back what was left of her bones. I would probably be killed for treason once I returned, but what did I care? They shouldn't have picked an emotional teenager to lead the country.

I turn Shiuh and go to open the barn door. But before I could, somebody opens it for me.

I'll give you one guess to who that person was.

"Rain," I say tiredly. "What are you doing here?" For once, I'm not exactly thrilled to see her.

Rain takes a deep breath, brushing down her skirts. A bag is in her hand. "I…I can't let you go alone. You mean everything to me. Without you, what am I supposed to do?"

"You're not helpless without me," I say coldly, and I can feel the hurt striking out in me. "You can take care of yourself."

"You know that's a lie. I'm crazy without you here," Rain says.

"I have a feeling you'll get by this time," I say bitterly, remembering the way she had acted like an infant when I had been gone from her life for weeks.

It's awkward for her, but not for me. For me, there is only pain. Yeah, I know what you're all thinking. Whine whine whine, as usual…

I can't cry anymore. Not in front of Rain. This is unbearable…that I'm shutting myself off to the one person that I always told everything to, the one person that knew there were no secrets to me that she didn't know about. I had always done it with everyone else though…what was the harm if one other…

I leaned over and gagged. Rain rushed to my side and asked, "Yang, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I utter, trying not to throw up. I was being mean to her. I wasn't giving her enough credit; I told her that lie, "I'm fine," everyday. I straightened up again and said, "You can go back to bed now. I'm going to leave."

"I told you I'm coming with you."

"Not this time."

"Yang!"

Again it's awkward. Rain takes one look at my bare arms and says, "Where did you get those?"

"What?" I ask, pretending not to notice.

"Those long red welts. They're newer than the rest. Come on now Yang, you promised!"

"I did not _cut, _for your information, those were from a rubber band."

"It's still the same thing!"

"Is not!"

"It is _too."_

I don't know which of us are right, or even if we're both wrong. I sigh and say, "Look, my baby sister cold be alive, somewhere out there, and if she's not then I practically have to lose her all over again. Cut me some slack." I wince at my bad choice of words.

"Nothing will be cut and nothing will be lost. Either she's alive or not," Rain said simply.

"It's not like that, Rain," I say. "You don't understand how much I love her-"

"Yang you're talking like she's still living. And yes, I think I do," Rain said, and she came to stand at my side. "I've seen your love in action and I know that there's hardly anything stronger than it. Don't you forget that I was there when we saved Condolet, and you brought back the light with your own sun."

I don't answer. I've already closed myself up too much. As you can see, it doesn't take much to scare me off. "I'm leaving Rain," I say.

"Not without us," another voice says, and Dad and Terrence block the doorway.

"You've brought them along?" I ask in despair, looking at her.

"I had to," she said quietly.

"You're all trying to stop me, aren't you?" I say, and I have to remind myself to not break. "You're going to drag me back in there, back to what you call home,"

"No we're not, Yang," Terrence says softly. "We're going to help you."

I stare blankly at them. Dad comes forward and says, "I can see how much this means to you, and I know that you're going to go after this…fantasy-"

"It's not a fantasy," I say sharply.

"Whether I like it or not. So sue me," Dad says. "But I have to come along, even if it is just to make sure you are safe, and to get some closure on Yin's death."

"But what about Condolet?" Rain asks, stopping me before I utter something smart back.

"It's all taken care of," Dad said gently. "I have informed the council that Yang and the rest of us are being taken to a safer place to hide, in order to avoid Trinity's grasp and keep Condolet under control. I never told them where we were going, so they all believe that it's top secret. Nobody will think we're turning on them or becoming traitors…at least, not if we take too long. How they would shriek if they knew we were actually going to the enemy instead of away from her!"

"Yes, absolutely crazy idea," I say, crossing my arms and leaning against Shiuh. I sigh and say, "Just let me go on my own. I'm king, I can handle it."

"You may be king, but you're still only fifteen. You know Yang you've run away, what is it, maybe three times now? I have to say it's getting old," Dad smiled weakly. "The least you can do this time is to _not _become a runaway _again _and bring your old man with you."

"And your friend," Rain added.

"I wasn't running away," I said crossly. "You think by now I would have learned that you can't run away from your troubles."

"Well this time you'll have your uncle with you as well," Terrence said, striding up to me and lying a hand across my shoulders.

I shake my head. "No Terrence. You can't come with me."

His face flickered in shock. "Kid, don't you understand how dangerous it is out there?"

"You've got to stay behind and rule Condolet while I'm gone," I said. "You're the only royalty around that we've got besides Dad, and he's coming with me. The people are depending on you, and you could probably do a better job then I could."

Terrence is cowed. "I am honored…though I don't know how much fun it will be bossing around a bunch of stick noses. You had this planned all along, didn't you?"

"Yes I did," I said. "And you can tell them that's an order, so they can't rebel against you for it."

Dad smiles brightly, acting as if it's Easter and he's looking for his basket. He looks delighted at the fact that Terrence isn't coming, and what's more, that he has to stay behind and deal with everyone and their questions.

It doesn't take long for Dad to saddle up his horse. Rain rides double with me, since she doesn't know how. Usually this would make me so happy…but right now I can hardly stand to be around her.

"Be safe out there!" Terrence calls, waving in farewell. "I'll keep an eye on the mirror so I can check up on you!"

Dad waves goodbye, and we turn into the forest. Pakavel's less than a day's ride away…and quite possibly, so could be Yin.

*

That morning we're in Pakavel's woods, in the shade of the new palace that my mother constructed just for Evin. The tent's done being set up and the horses have been let loose to graze…everyone hopes they won't run off in here, but since we can't watch them all the time, it can't be helped.

I huddle close to the embers we made, trying to warm up. A true fire will alert guards, and, above all else, we mustn't be discovered. I look at the palace and I see a shadow somewhere in a far away window…is that a servant, Trinity, or Evin? The thought of both of them being so close, less than a couple hundred feet away, is terrifying…but I'm not going to let them chase me out until I find Yin first.

Of course that could be never. These woods are huge, dangerous, and Dad's patience will only last so long. Which means that I have to move as much as I can and as quickly as I can, scouring every inch of this place and leaving no stone unturned. I can't live with a maybe, not again. Even though I was going on the word of a spy (not on my side) I was going to take what she said as pure fact.

Rain comes by me, sitting down and poking at the grass. "Hey," she says. "You look sad. What's wrong?"

I don't answer. I still feel cold, and I still feel bruised, and it's not from the saddle. Rain sits down and asks, "Is it because of me?"

"Yeah, part of it," I say. "But other things too."

"Like what?"

"Stuff."

Rain is silent once more. She then comes close to me and says, "Yang…you know I love you, right?"

I don't answer, but look away. She puts a hand on mine but I draw it back; it hurts too much to be touched by her. But when I look at her this time I can tell she's hurt too…and that's even more painful than what she's done to me.

"Why are you mad at me?" she asks.

Her voice is too much for me. "Rain…love shows action. Do you really love me, or are you just saying you do? I don't think I can handle having any more of my trust broken. After Yin left, she ruined me. And Rain…what if she's not here?"

She says nothing. I can tell just by being around her that she's _thinking_. With no words she puts her arms around me and holds me there. The stars above us vibrate and I can tell she understands; the fibers inside me begin to heal.

I have misjudged her.

*

"Hey kids," Dad says, looking down at the ground. "Come look at this."

Rain and I walk over, and I'm trying not to bump into her, trying not to touch her because I know I have no self control and that I can barely stand to keep myself from her as it is. Dad points down at the ground and we both stoop to look at it; it's a footprint.

"Around the same size you guys wear, I reckon." Dad says. "And that means…"

"Evin's already been out here," I say, standing up and looking around. "Do you think she's found anything yet?"

"No. We would have found out by now." Dad said. "But it's obvious she's out here."

"Do you think she's with Rusty?" Rain asked, looking up.

"Maybe. It'll be more beneficial to us if she is, because if there's a fight then he can help us out," Dad added.

"Hopefully." I said. Personally I didn't know if Rusty was really working for us. If Evin was as good as everyone said she was, then even if Rusty did join we still didn't stand much of a chance.

Ugh. My scars twinged. That day we looked for any clues that may lead us to Yin; we found none.

"Let's head back Yang, it's time to sleep," Dad said at clear to midnight.

"No," I said. "I have to keep searching."

"You're not going to see anything when it's this dark," Rain said, and she tugged on my arm. I didn't have much strength to fight back; I let her pull me to the tent, thinking all the while that because I hadn't brought anything sharp with me except my sword (and I wasn't going to dishonor my weapon with _that _action) there was no way I could hurt myself…easily.

The days were stretching like butter to me, and I wasn't even sure what day it was since I last cut. I'm not sure if Rain did either, and I wasn't about to ask her, because if I did she'd know that I was thinking about _it_ again.

We ate dinner and went to bed at one. Before I could roll into my sleeping bag though Dad grabbed my shoulder and said, "Something's wrong. You've barely said anything all day, and you're acting sadder than usual."

"Don't worry Yang, we'll find her," Rain assured me. I could tell she wanted to believe me more than anything, that Yin was alive, but that the facts were telling her different…

But Rain wasn't one to go with facts. She could have the body in front of her and she would deny still that Yin was dead, just because she wanted to believe me first.

"Believe me Yang, we will," Rain said, and I snapped back to reality. I shook my head and said, "It's not just that."

"Then what is?" Dad asked.

The walls inside me automatically rose up. So much mistrust…

And it all spilled out of me. It was a floodgate; I could only hold it in for so long before I burst. I was nervous as I told them but as I ended a warmth filled me; the raging thoughts were gone, and the stress had left.

It had to be at least two in the morning now. No words were spoken after I was finished; I thought both of them would be mad at me, but Dad just smiled, ruffled my hair and turned in. Rain waited until he was sleeping to move her sleeping bag over right next to mine. It was cold out; she looked at me and I looked at her, and Rain whispered, "We're gonna find her Yang. We're gonna find her."

I smiled. After that long explanation to Dad and Rain, I felt so much better…I let my eyes drift closed. It really was better telling people how you felt…as long as they were the right people, of course.

_Well, our heroes are in the belly of the beast now. Will the trio find out what happened to Yin…or will Evin find them first? Keep reading, I'll update soon if I can! PS, I was wondering if anybody would like to do a YouTube video for this series, set to a song that signifies Yang's struggle with cutting/life/everything. Obviously you'd have to use scenes from the TV show, but please let me know if anyone is interested in doing this, or if you know anyone who might be. I'd gladly post the link and the author onto my profile and to one of the chapters in The Final Cut._


	8. Find Her First!

"Hurry up darling," Mother calls into my room, peeking in. "Or you're going to miss the party."

I nod, trying to force a smile. "Coming Mom!" My hair's all done up and my nails have been painted, and I smell like an exotic, beautiful flower. I'm wearing a slip that is supposed to go under my gown, with a lot of diamonds and what not. There's a ball tonight in my honor (I have two a year, you know) and everybody, mandatory or of their own free will, has to be there.

I look at the garment in my hands. It's a very pretty dress, light blue and all poofy, totally me. I'm glad to have it and it means the world to me that my mother bought it for me, but…

I'm not looking forward to wearing it.

I lay the dress down on my bed. I don't even want to look at it. Usually I would be trying it on everyday, the excitement building and becoming nearly unbearable the nights before. This was the night I had been looking forward to all year.

The thing was, it was pretty much ruined for me. Unless a certain red-head was going to be there, I almost didn't want to waste my time. I had been so excited, had been planning this for months…and because this one person wasn't going to be there, there was almost no point in me going.

I kicked a chest of clothes and they went flying. Why was I being so whiny? At least I had a chance to go, right? A lot of girls would die to be in my shoes. Literally. I knew a few servants who had that as their dying wish.

Okay, I'm exaggerating, but you get my point.

…Maybe the reason that I'm feeling upset is deeper. It's more than just me wanting Rusty to be there…it's me caring about him. Me, actually caring for somebody.

I am _sooooo_ cracking up.

I look in the mirror. I had to smile. If my half-brother could do it when he was pretty much ready to toss himself in a lake, then so could I. Even better, I would outdo him and go the whole nine yards, be the life of the party. If not for me, then for my mother. She would know if I was feeling funny, and it wouldn't be pretty if she had to take me aside and talk to me in front of everyone.

Even so, I hope I don't break down _crying_ at _my_ party!

I slip on the dress and head to the ballroom. There's tons of people there; dancing, food, drink, wonderful lights…

But no Rusty.

I grimaced. My mother had made a choice, and I had to respect that. She was banning Rusty from being with me. I guess she had noticed that both of us were gone at the same times of the day and not seen again until dinner. She could obviously put two and two together…even so, she came to the wrong conclusion. Now that Mom thought that Rusty and I were dating, it was going to be even harder sneaking out to look for Yin. I would be lucky if she ever let me out of her sight.

My favorite song came on and I went out onto the floor, twirling to lyrics about things being alright, sights of heaven…

I'm dancing like a manic, trying to lose myself in the fun. Even so, it's not working very well. I'm trying to force that smile on my face and it keeps slipping off. A lot of other people seem to be having a good time. There are a few people like me who you can tell don't know what they're doing here, but then there's bunches of semi-decent looking girls and handsome guys out there who are really having a good time. I'm going in and out of the groups, saying what I want to here and there, and then just flitting away when I feel like it.

Okay, so I guess I still don't fit in. I'm the fricken princess of Pakavel and I'm still that little weed in the flower garden that…perhaps…people want to rip out.

UGH. I'm actually feeling _sorry_ for myself? Who am I, whimpy, whiny little Yang, who can't take a hint of criticism? The guy who, with one mean and nasty look, crumbles to pieces and flutters away like a tree leaf in the fall?

Greeatttt. I'm using similes. Absolutely wonderful. This day keeps on getting better and better.

I run a hand through my hair. My half-brother's way sensitive. I'm not. His weak points are everywhere, and I have none.

I look at the servants, chatting it up. I wish I could eat with them. Well, okay, technically I can, but I won't know what to say, and I don't think they'd know what to say to me either. I've kinda spent my whole life trying to fit in. How's that working out for me? Um…not?

I look down. Yeah, I may have a tendency to be the tiniest bit bossy, but I'm a wallflower too. And yeah, I know I lied. I do have one weak point. I'm very lonely.

Of course it doesn't help that all the people I know understand that my mother's more than one baseball short of a game.

I sniff. Snotty little peasants. See if they're invited next time.

When nobody's looking (and Mother is too busy fluttering around the courtroom to notice) I slip out the door. There's a mirror in the darkened hallway; I look at it and wave my hand, and beside me appears a shadow, an image.

I smile and another person smiles back. A perfect version of me, all dressed up and fancy. I've got so much skill in creating duplicates that the fake Evin will talk, dance and act exactly like me, for about twenty-four hours. It would be longer, but I haven't practiced too much with making clones. Mother herself can make copies that can last years.

"Shoo shoo," I say, waving my hands. "Go have fun at the party now, and make sure you're always in Mother's sight."

Fake-Evin winks. "As always, sweetie. I'll be a better _you_ then you will." Fake-Evin walks away, waving her hips. I watched her, critically analyzing every movement. She still strutted with a swishing movement. My gosh. Somebody should put a swing on that porch. Did I actually act like that?

I gulped. I hope it was good enough to fool my Mother. It was unlikely, but I could hope. Nothing slipped past her.

I waved my hair. It didn't matter. Time to get down to business. I pulled my dress over my head to reveal myself in a tube top black shirt and camouflaged pants. I kicked off my heels and brought out from behind a statue of a giant rabbit combat boots that rose up to my knees. My tiara I threw away as well, and I put a black cap over my hair (I absolutely LOATHED messing it up, but there was no other way.)

All the party stuff I hid inside the statue's mouth. With nothing else to do, I opened a window and slipped out of it, hovering down several stories to the ground.

I closed the window with a wave of my hand and looked to another one a few stones down, one with the lights on. Should I get Rusty? He could be a big help…

I turned away. No. I was getting too attached to him already. Me being upset that he wasn't at the party was bad enough. Besides, he would ruin the reunion with my sister. I swear, talk about an obsessed ex.

As I walked into the forest, I paused. What if I did find my sister, but it wasn't alive? What if I found a body?

I shuddered, then stopped myself. I was Evin. I was afraid of nothing.

I hiked into the trees. It was darker then I thought it was in here…I made myself a light and wandered into the swamp, not caring about how filthy my shoes were for once.

I suppressed a smile. This was a serious mission, yet it was exciting. I had never been out of the castle at night. There was no moon; I was dependent on myself for light.

Dependent on myself. I like that.

It had been a couple of hours; I had forgotten to make a mosquito repellant and had gotten a nasty bite. The little bugger got fried the instant I spotted her. Yeah, it's a her. Only the females bite, for their eggs. Can't really blame her, for wanting to take care of her young.

Mother probably fed me straight blood when I was born.

I'm not creeped out, but I'm gonna let you know, it's kind of spooky out here. No wonder nobody's allowed in the forest at night. It's practically Michael Myers central. Yin, wherever she is, must be feeling pretty scared…I don't know how much power she has, but even with all of my skill, I know after a few nights in here I would be.

Won't it be great when I come to rescue her?

La la la, skipping through the woods…wee…where the heck is she? I've been looking for days, and there's hardly a hint or a hair of where she could be…

A twig cracks underneath my foot. I pause; I've been doing that since I've been out here but this time, it seems like it's different. It seems…whatever…wrong?

I listen. All is silent, peaceful, calm. It's okay…

Then the moans start.

Oh….shit.

I didn't bring a weapon, but I don't need it. Mother has taught me all that I've ever needed to know about battles. Granted, I don't really have an idea on how to take on the black ghosts, but I'm sure I'll find a way. There's got to be something in my arsenal that'll work.

They're coming. I take a wide legged stance and fill my empty hand with fire, burning, consuming blue fire that nothing will ever pass. I guarantee it.

The ghosts come swarming towards me but I put up a fire shield and they all go flying into the trees, bouncing several feet backwards. There's more than I thought were here; at least fifty, if I counted right.

I laugh. But they can't break through my shield. I'm unstoppable. Me, Evin!

All at once the black ghosts charge right into the middle. I'm blown back as they all swarm upon me; how did that happen? My light in my other hand goes out, and in an instant, I'm blind.

Flame sword! I brandish my handmade weapon but OMGSH IT'S NOT DOING ANY GOOD! These things are acting like a bunch of girls at a shoe sale! And I'm the shoes! Two of them grab my clothes and begin pulling me back and forth, while the other ones rip at my face.

Earth magic! Plants sprout up out of the ground and nab at them, but the branches just fade right through.

Sound! Yes, of course, sound! I let out a scream that vibrates the very bones of the forest, and it works, for a minute. The vibrations throw them back long enough for me to get to my feet and run, but it's not long before they're at me again. I'm starting to bleed from all the scratches they're giving me.

Dark buffer!

Iron fists!

Dark defense…

None of its working. Everything I have, everything that I'm trying, doesn't work. I can defeat whole armies with a blink of an eye, but these things are unlike anything I've ever seen. I was told about them, of course, but I thought they were nothing, that I could handle them.

The cuts are getting deeper and the more the blood flows, the more ravaging they become. Their bites are starting to eat deep into my skin.

I'm going to die…

Oh please, somebody up there, don't let me die! A scream rises up out of my throat, but nobody is going to hear me. Not out here.

It's all over for me…it's all over…

As if somebody was answering my cry, I hear voices. I can barely make them out with all the screeching of the ghosts, but as if they were my lifeline (or the last thing I hear) I cling to them, as if I was clinging to breathing itself.

"Yang where are you? Answer me!" A gruff, panicked voice calls.

"Over here Dad! I'm right here!" The responder is a young, frightened male.

"Boy, I told you we shouldn't have gone into there! Young man, where are you?"

"Yang, I can't see-" A new voice enters the fray, a girl's.

"I know Rain, just grab my hand. Dad, no disrespect, but get out of the way! LIGHT!"

I'm blown against the ground with the force of the blast. A shining beam of warmth engulfs me and the ghosts scream as they're burned to a crisp, wasting away in front of my eyes. The light has me transfixed, unable to move. Yet I don't want to move. I want to bask in this light forever, be in this heart that swarms and hums with life and truth and love…

It ends all too soon. As the light starts pulling away I see figures charging towards me, and it's all I can do to crawl into the bushes and hide, pulling myself into a ball and peering out of the leaves. As I look out into the darkness I see two dark pairs of violet eyes.

My half-brother's eyes.

I'm hiding too well for him to see me. But his facial expression seems fearful, scared. Did him or whoever he was traveling with see me? Why was he even here…

Crap! He had figured out that Yin was hiding here.

As I watch the old man behind him puffing to catch up to my enemies, I feel stupid. Light…why had I never thought of that? I could have had them all in the palm of my hand…no, that couldn't be right, they had knocked my lantern out when they attacked me. Yang's light couldn't be just any light. That was something different. Something that I never knew, but yet wanted to. Yang has a power I don't have. Inconceivable.

As this hits home I come to a realization that sickens me. My worst enemy has saved my life.

"Kid, what are you doing over there?" The old man asks, coming to a rough halt. I don't dare to move.

"There was somebody in the bushes. I swear it, I heard them scream," he responds.

"I believe you, Yang," the girl says, coming up to his side and peering straight at me, yet never really seeing.

"You'll believe anything he says, Rain," the old man says dryly. "Son, it was the adrenaline. Come on now, let's go."

"Just let me check the bushes. I promise I won't take long, I just want to make sure whoever was getting hurt is okay." Yang starts walking towards me.

I can hear the frustration in the old man's voice. "Nobody was getting hurt, it was your imagination! The last time you wanted to check something was that cave and the ghosts were in there…Yang if you take one more step!"

He halts in his tracks. His hands are bunched up, piercing into his skin, and his feet are inches away from where I'm hiding. He moves one more step, it's all over.

There's a long pause as Yang lets out a sigh. He closes his eyes, and I watch his lips say the words, "Yes sir." He turns around and begins heading the other way, along with the other two. Once I'm sure they're gone I start to crawl out of the leaves. But before I can stand to, well, stand, a hand grabs me around the wrist and pulls me away.

"What are you doing! Get your hands off me you…you!"

"You've got no right to talk to me!" a voice talks back, and my heart leaps as I recognize it. The boy pulls me into a nearby cave (not the one the ghosts were in, a different one) and the torches that he had placed on the wall light up immediately, as if he's furious.

"What were you thinking!" Rusty says, angrier than I have ever seen him. "Walking into the forest out here by yourself!"

I grin at him. "I can defend myself, as you well know."

"Oh sure you can," Rusty says, and he hits the wall with his hand. "That's why I had to run in here and save your ass."

My mouth drops. "How dare you ever-"

"Don't you tell me what to say, now listen here!" he screams. "You're lucky I noticed you were gone before everyone else noticed! Your mother would have strung you up a wall!"

"Mother would never hurt me," I shake my head.

"Oh really? She didn't pause to throw Yin off the cliff," he spat.

"She doesn't even remember that!" I say back, stomping up to him.

"How do you know she's not lying to you? Trinity's quite the snake, if you haven't noticed…"

I punch him in the face and he goes flying. As he hits the wall I bend down, grab his shirt and pull him to his feet. "Never talk about my mother that way," I hiss.

Rusty isn't shocked that I hit him, nor that it was so hard. Quite the opposite. "Why not? She wasn't worried when you went missing."

I let him go. "That's because she thought I was safe inside."

"Did she now? Do you really think, after all this time, that you have managed to fool the greatest criminal mastermind this side of Pakavel has ever known? Think, Evin!"

"You don't even care that I went," I say, forcing out the words. "You only came out here because you had to. Well I'll tell you something, dirt boy. Yang and his bumbling bunch of clowns are now running the circus! They're out here, in these woods, and they're looking for Yin! They're going to find her first, and it's all your fault!"

Rusty's face turns red. "How is it my fault? You're just a spoiled, stingy little princess who's had everything shoved so far up her rear end that she doesn't care who she steps on, just so she can get her way. I've never met a more selfish brat in my life, and you can go ahead and tell that to your mother, little girl!"

I am speechless. Nobody has ever talked to me like that before. It would mean certain death. I would run and tell Mother…if I could ever bear to repeat what he's all said. There are a lot of hurtful words in those sentences…and they hurt a lot. They hurt so much, I start crying.

Rusty stops yelling. His face slackens and I turn away from him, saying, "Go, leave! I wish you had let me die out here, it would have been better than hearing that!"

"Evin…"

"Never call me that again!" I say. "All you care about is…is…getting my sister back! Well when I find her first I'm going to tell her what a rotten boyfriend you are!"

"We were never dating, Evin," Rusty says softly.

"And that shows how horrible you really are. I didn't even have to be your girlfriend for you to go and make me cry," I shout. "I'm glad she broke your heart, you deserved it."

The cave is silent. Rusty coughs and says, "Yeah…yeah I did."

"So just leave me alone," I choke. "Nobody else cares about me, why should you? Leave the spoiled brat to her starvation."

The cave is quiet again. I'm going to wait until he's gone, so then I can break down sobbing. It's bad enough he's seen me cry.

There are footsteps behind me. Rusty lays a hand on my shoulder and murmurs, "Evin…"

"No!" I rip myself away from him and flee into the safety of the caverns…deeper and deeper I go, until Rusty's voice echoing down the walls only vibrate in my mind.

"Evin, Evin, Evin…"

"Don't go down there, there…"

I sob. I'm gonna find Yin first. Yang's never gonna get to her before me. I've got to do it. By myself. Alone. And she'll be all I'll ever need. She's mine already. I took a claim to her. She's mine.

I'm gonna find Yin first. I'm gonna find Yin first. I'm gonna find Yin first. I'm gonna find Yin first…

_Oh dear…things are falling apart now, aren't they? Anyway, for all you people who want to do a video, I've got a forum for it so everyone can discuss ideas/songs/whatever for it so we're not all losing each other in the fray back and forth. Go to my forums and click on Nightstar, should be there. _


	9. Fallen Hour

Dad wasn't too happy when he found Rain and I cuddling up to each other in the tent this morning, to say the least. He was sort of a combination of shocked and angry. Rain couldn't care less; she was so innocent, she couldn't possibly portray any possibilities in her head that could make my dad upset, so she just assumed that he had woken up in a bad mood.

I, however, knew better.

I grabbed my sword, making sure it was polished well enough, then stowed it away in its sheath. We weren't doing anything…we had just fallen asleep like that, me with my arm on one side of her and she resting against me. It was the only way I managed to get any sleep; counting her heartbeats was a lot better than counting cut marks, or worse, going through the possibilities of what could have happened to Yin in my head.

I don't think I had any nightmares that night. I can't say for sure, because I can't remember, but I don't think so.

Dad knew I liked Rain, but he was failing to understand that I just _couldn't let it be. _

He came up behind me, walking slowly next to me as Rain went ahead. I traced her moves and swept my eyes over the path; nothing was going to distract me from this task, not even the conversation I knew Dad was going to bring up…

"Kid, we need to talk," he said, keeping his eyes on the ground, but probably not looking.

"If it's not about my sister then it's not important," I said, scouring every inch of the dirt.

"Um, it's very important," he said. "I don't think you understand how important."

"Tell me quickly then, so we can get this over with," I said. I was being rude, but I couldn't afford anything slowing me down at this point.

"You and Rain-"

"It was an accident that we were cuddling, it won't happen again," I said, cutting him off.

"Did anything happen last night while I was sleeping? Did you…make out in the tent?"

"Sure Dad, right with you there." I suppressed rolling my eyes.

"I'm dead serious. Please tell me the truth."

"I've been telling you the truth. Nothing went on. We'd be acting different if it did."

"Teenage hormones are hard to control, Yang." Dad said.

"Do you know what's harder to control? Grief. I can't deal with it," I told him plainly. "If I lose her…"

"You'll lose her anyway if you keep pushing your luck," Dad mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said nastier than I intended.

"I'm just saying that you've got a lot of emotions you've never had to deal with before…"

"Dad, please not 'the talk.' Not now."

"I've been meaning to give it to you for awhile."

"Not when we're looking for my sister. We don't have time," I told him. "You should know me enough that I'm saving myself for marriage."

I didn't give him enough time to answer before I stalked off. The nerve! He was acting like he couldn't trust me! When had I ever given him a reason to doubt me before?

I looked down at my short sleeves. Oh. Right.

As I went to take another step forward my knee gave out a crack. I yelled and fell to the ground in pain, right into the mud. Rain heard me and screamed, "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Keep going!" I called back though bared teeth. I got up with a struggle, my legs watery and my back aching. I rubbed my muscles a bit, but it didn't help much. I would be riding Shuih, but these woods were too dense for the horses so we had let them loose to eat.

Each step hurt now. I just had to think of Yin's face, and keep going.

My body was breaking down. I had noticed this during training a couple of months ago, but never said anything. I refused to even think about it, my logic being that if I didn't acknowledge it, it would go away. Now, after a long time of doing nothing, my body rebelled against being ignored. Every instant I was getting weaker…and I didn't know if training was going to help or make it worse. Make it worse had been the more recent and blatant result, obviously, but there was a hope…

I suppressed a cry. The things I loved were being taken away from me because my body couldn't handle it, couldn't take the pressure.

And I was only fifteen.

I shivered. How did Evin manage to have all that power stored up inside of her, keep so fit and strong? Did she have some sort of dark help…or was it because she had different genes than I did?

The clouds above were gathering and gray. It was going to storm soon. We had to move quickly; anything that Yin had left behind would be washed away.

It had all happened very quickly then. Rain and I had been ten feet away from each other, coming out at a clearing in the middle of the forest. Dad was lagging behind. A earthquake shook the woods and all of us toppled over; a great white force field popped up between us and my father.

"Dad!" I cried. I raced to the clear shield but I couldn't get through; a long sheet of glass-magic miles wide separated us, and though I pounded on it, to attempt getting through was useless.

"Stay there! There's a way around this!" Dad yelled through the sheet. I could hear him very well, but I sensed what he said must have been a lie; the sheet was as tall as it was wide.

The forest _roared. _As the trees shook and waved back and forth a voice rumbled through the trees; I knew that voice, but it was not comforting or helpful. It was a terrifying voice.

"_Surrender, Lightstar!" _Trinity's echo boomed through the woods and I put my hands over my ears, trying to block out the sound. _"I can see you! I know where you are! Cease to put up a fight and I'll let you live. Battle me, and you'll suffer the consequences!"_

Dad's eyes were scared; Rain couldn't tell where the sound was coming from. She looked up at the sky, as if the very storm was speaking. Poor Rain. Poor innocent, unknowing Rain…

"_Give her to me," _Mother said…yes Mother…my mom…_"And I'll let you run. Give the girl to me."_

"What do you want with her!" I screamed, panicked and confused.

"_Evin is missing. I know you have her." _Trinity's voice sank to deathly tones. _"She's been gone for days. You have her, I know you do." _

My mind became vacant. Evin, missing? Gone? We were the prime suspects…which meant Trinity had known we were here all along.

"Why didn't you take us before?" I yelled against the wind.

She ignored my question. _"I'll have her one way or another. It'll be easier if you give up."_

"No!" I protested, and as I said the word light vibrated around me.

The voice was gone, the forest stopped shaking, and the earth quieted. It didn't help that all of us were shaken; Dad especially. I have no doubt that if we hadn't of been there Dad would have crawled into a ball and started crying. As it was, he only shivered.

"She wants me?" Rain asked, turning to me slowly.

I nodded. "Yes Rain. She wants you, but she's not going to have you. Let's go."

I motioned to Dad and said, "Come on! There's got to be a break in this field!"

The three of us ran back and forth along the cruel glass, and my mind thrummed blankly. Even though I tried, I knew it was no use. We were mice trapped in a cage.

We had been running for hours and still hadn't found a way through the force field. Dad was exhausted; he leaned against the glass and heaved like a fish out of water.

Rain walked away from the glass, pacing. "Trinity's coming for me, isn't she?"

I followed her. "Yes Rain. But we're gong to find a way out. One of us will."

What I said, I put my full heart into. Trinity could have us at any moment now; she was probably just enjoying the fact that we were running for our lives. Mother…Mom…liked to play with her food. But then why did she think we had Evin? She probably knew I couldn't take her, and the rest of us couldn't either.

I shook my head. If Evin hadn't of vanished, Trinity might have let us crawl in her maze a little bit longer. No, not might, would of. But now, for some reason, Evin was missing and Trinity thought we had her. Why I didn't know, because she had been watching our every move, apparently, but then again, being insane, Trinity would forget things. Not to mention if Evin was skilled, it would be hard to keep track of her.

Rain played with her hair slowly. A strange look came upon her face and I held my breath; something wasn't right.

"Rain?" I asked. She didn't respond; her hair fell limply to its side.

"I see the way out now," Rain said, and she turned slowly towards me. A pit of dread raced through my innards; Dad shook his head behind the glass, his breath recovered and said, "Rain, don't. There's a choice in the matter."

"No there's not!" she said. At her words the sky thundered and small droplets began sprinkling from the air. She looked at me, in extreme pain. "The only way for her to get to you is through me. She thinks you'll start up an army to get me."

"Exactly. You know I will," I say quickly.

"No you won't." Her eyes were blank, vacant. "She'll take me prisoner. Except you won't come for me. You'll take your dad. You'll take your dad and run."

"Rain," I said, my arm outstretched. "Please don't do this."

"It's the only way. If I sacrifice myself it'll give you time to run. You have to put Condolet first, Yang. If you bring the army to rescue me, she'll make them all dead." Rain said each word slowly, clearly.

"She'll kill you if I don't come back. She'll kill you."

"There's a chance she'll make me her slave."

"You can't be like that again! You've worked your whole life just to get out of it!" I protested angrily. I could tell in her face she hated the idea of going. She was determined, however. I knew she was going to put herself through it, for me.

Because everybody always sacrificed themselves for me.

"Rain, there's a thousand other ways to do this," I pleaded, making things up now.

"How? Show me, highness!"

"Don't call me that! We're equals, remember?"

"Only because you've made it so," she spat back.

"Kids," Dad said, trying to be stern but ending up sounding afraid.

Rain just kept yelling, directing all her force towards me. "You, my friend, the new king of Condolet, think you can fix this? Nobody can! This, this is the only way. People think you're a hero, but what am I? Invisible, as always! I mean nothing to this world! Nothing!"

"You mean everything to me," I said, and it was raining harder. "There were times when you were the only one who I would see."

"I don't believe you." She backed away, shaking her head. "I don't believe you."

"I think I'm dying!" I cried out to her, fresh tears running down my face now. "If you go, I go! We can't be separated!"

"Things work out like that sometimes, Yang," she said softly, crying now too. The dripping from the clouds quickly turned into a downpour.

I let out a struggling gasp. "No! That's what I was told with my mother, and with my sister, but not you! I can't lose you! What do I have to do to make you believe that?"

"You don't love me," she said, her eyes fathomless. The droplets from the sky ran slowly and carefully down her face.

"Yes I do! I love you with every beat of my bleeding heart!" Thunder rolled and the water sagged my bangs down in front of my eyes.

"Not in…that way."

There was silence. I couldn't take it anymore; like when I gave way to my urges, my vices, my emotions came flooding out here and there.

"Rain," I said, and the way I said it made her look shocked, "Everyday I look at you and see how beautiful you are and I have to tell myself, 'No, don't tell her how you feel, she'll only be in danger,' yet now I know that my mom knew my secret all along! You can't keep things from Trinity, and I only wish now that I hadn't kept this from you!"

"What are you saying?" Her words came out in a whisper, and Dad's eyes widened behind the glass.

No hesitation. Not this time. "I love you. I love you more than I love myself. That first kiss you gave me long ago was one of the best things that I've ever had in my life. You mean more to me than I know. I've even dreamed about…about…"

"About what?" she asked, inquisitive.

"Marrying you," I said, and Dad let out a small shout behind me. I pretended he wasn't there. "I know we're really young but whenever I didn't have nightmares I'd dream that, when we were much older, we would get married. And we'd stay that way forever, even though we would fight and cry and get upset, because I still loved you."

"You're lying. You're lying to get me to stay," she said, shaking her head.

"No I'm not! Even if I was, doesn't that show you how much I care? Before I nearly jumped off the bridge," I say and she flinches, "I saw your face. I see you everywhere. Please don't leave me. All the stuff I said before, it was just junk I said to push you away. Your safety mattered more to me then my feelings. But please. Please. Don't go."

She was silent. Then she started backing away, saying, "Well, all that stuff you said to me worked. I can't believe you now."

"No!" I ran forward and Trinity's magic she had sent form far away began swirling around Rain; it was a great ball of wind, and it left my beloved in the middle of it. Of course. Trinity wouldn't send her magic to grab Rain unless she was willing to leave of her own free will. It hurt more that way.

"Yang. Let me go," she whispered, and she started rising into the air, her toes barely floating off the ground.

I hesitated, both of us in the ring of wind. Then I slowly reached out my hand and grabbed hers, pulling her body to mine as I leaned over and put my other hand in her hair.

Our lips met. Both of our eyes closed and we reveled in the moment, making the kiss long and sweet. A shock ran through me as tears coursed down both our faces, with the wind blowing her hair around and the rain just making us wetter and wetter. We stood there for minutes on end, just barely coming up for air as I whispered, "I love you…"

She was ripped from my arms. Her hands stretched towards me and she gave me a small smile as she was dragged farther into the wind portal…and vanished.

"_Rain!" _I fell to my knees. Crying wracked my body but I knew it would do no good: she would be standing before Trinity right now. The force field had gone; Dad rushed to my side, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Dad," I said, and the storm above kept raging. "She's gone. Trinity took her."

"I know. But keep your head on, she'll be okay," Dad voiced quickly, rashly.

Was that true? I didn't know anymore. One of my worst fears was happening all over again. We hadn't found Yin and we had lost Rain in the process.

My heart beat a painful thud. I missed Rain already. I missed her with an ache so raw that it was unbelievable. Hovering in this moment, this section of time, knowing that I could be with her right now and wasn't, could be right next to her and hearing her breathe slowly and her heart beat steadily…it was all I had ever wanted in the world. Few things healed me, and even fewer things healed me completely. Rain was one of them. The thought that she was gone from me, was in danger, was more than I could take.

"We have to get her back!" I screamed, grabbing my hair. "I need her now! I need her, I need her!"

"Calm down boy, we'll get her back!" Dad said, rushing to me.

"No! No, you don't understand! It's not just her that'll go mad if I leave, I'll go crazy too! I can't stand to see her go! She leaves, my world falls apart!"

I could hardly stand to breathe. As always, I was impatient. We had so little, little time together, and even though we may have had eternity afterward, eternity wasn't (or at least didn't seem like) now. Other lovers may have been separated for good, but yet that thought didn't do much to comfort me. Rain and I had never gotten our _chance. _What was worse, we hadn't gotten our chance because I was in denial, I was too stubborn, and I thought that I knew it all and that my plan would work. But it hadn't worked; my over protectiveness had backfired. You couldn't deny what was there and what you could feel; you couldn't run from what was meant to be. Why hadn't I seen that before?

"She's gone! I can't handle it! It's smothering me!!!" I screamed, and Dad grabbed hold of my shoulders. He began to shake me back and forth and said, "Quiet! That's enough!"

I sobbed. "Why couldn't Mother have taken me? I was right there! I was right there…"

"Trinity doesn't want you to come straight to her, she wants to drag it out. If you were out of the way Condolot would fall instantly. But no. No, Trinity has to pull the trigger as slowly and as painfully for everyone involved as possible."

"This can't be happening," I said, getting up off the ground and backing up.

"Our people will wage war to get you back until each man falls." Dad's voice had sunk, had fallen to a menacing tone. "She won't be satisfied until everyone in Condolet suffers. We're not going to let that happen, though. You're going to retreat, just as Rain said.

My body went still. "Retreat?" I repeated in disbelief.

"It was Rain's wish. Don't let her sacrifice be in vain!"

My mouth dropped open. I stared at my father, hurt. I didn't know him anymore. He was ditching her. Ditching her. He was leaving her to suffer at the hands of whoever had her now, to save me and the kingdom. Who knew what was happening…

A rage-fire rose up within me, a strength that devoured and consumed every inch of my being until I could feel the hurt and bitterness becoming power. Nobody would touch Rain. If they ever touched her, I was coming after them. This time, however, it was different. This time Dad wasn't on my side, and because of it…he couldn't come with me.

I had to pull myself together. I did it all the time, put on a mask. I was good enough at it that it came easily, slipped quietly and gently over my grief.

"Dad…" I said slowly and carefully. "I love you, and I'll always listen to you…"

He stood there, waiting for me to finish.

I took a deep breath. "But this is one order that I'm not going to obey." My feet were running before he had another chance to digest what was happening, and I was flying. Even if Dad took off right now he'd never catch up; I was far too fast for the old guy, and he couldn't teleport either, as he had no idea where I was going.

My lungs hurt. I was leaving it all behind for Rain. Shuih would turn wild, or just run loose until either my father caught him or somebody else found him. I hoped whoever did would take good care of him. I might never see Dad or Terrence again; I winced and closed my eyes, but went on. All hope of now finding Yin was gone. Once I put my plan into action, there was no chance of me getting out to find her. I would never truly know what had happened to her.

This thought alone almost caused me to halt in my tracks, but I forced myself to keep going. No tears this time; what I had been fighting for months I finally just let wash over me, finally accepted. Yin was dead, and she wasn't coming back. Rain was alive, and I had to do everything I could to get her out of there.

Which is why I was going to offer an exchange.

My back and knees ached, but that was nothing compared to what I knew Mother would do to me. Not to mention that she would give me as a play toy to Evin…but no. Evin was missing, wasn't she? So I was likely to be tortured until I died or until Mom found Evin…

Why do I keep calling her Mother? Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother…

There it was. The castle doors. I strode right up to the giant, hundred foot tall wooden gates, no room for fear. I pounded on them as hard as I could and yelled, "Mother! Let me in!"

The double doors opened so quick that I wouldn't have thought such a thing were possible. A thousand guards were all over me at once. I didn't bother trying to fight them off, only let them bruise my sides when they purposefully whacked them with their spears and grab me too roughly, tossing me back and forth like I was a game of catch. Somebody grabbed my sword; I cried out at the loss of my old friend, but there was nothing I could do to keep it from being plundered.

Another punch, another hit. It was so much abuse.

_I can handle pain…just pretend it's not there, that this was your own fault…_If I could trick myself into thinking that I was doing all this, it wouldn't hurt half as much…

One guard shouldered me in the face so hard that I knew I was going to have a black eye. A voice came from down the hall and said, "Halt! He's for the queen!"

I looked up and a spring of relief ran through me. Rusty was barreling down the hall at full speed, pushing the other guards aside and standing in front of me, furious.

"Rusty!" I breathed, bending over. "Where's Rain? Can you get us out of here?"

I spoke quietly enough so that nobody else would hear me, but Rusty pretended like he never heard me. He looked at one guard and asked, "Where does our queen want him?"

Bam. A betrayal if I ever saw one. I was right…Terrence had failed me again. Anger surged through me and I screamed, "Traitor!"

Rusty hit me in the gut and all the air rushed out of me. The rest of the guards went to jump on me again but Rusty shoved them all aside. He grabbed me by the arm and the one who had given me the black eye said, "Just in the dungeons."

"Take me to Trinity! I order it!" I screamed. This had not been my day; I was tired of taking this.

Rusty bared his teeth. "In case you haven't forgotten, you don't make the orders around here."

All of the guards laughed and I was pulled and pushed by all of the jeering bullies, Rusty forcing me to keep in stride with his large steps. I whipped the hair out of my eyes and whispered, "I thought I could trust you. You told me that I could. Are you just playing me? Whose side are you on?"

He didn't answer. I took that as a bad sign. We turned the corner and started down the steps, to the jail below. Through my bleeding lip I said, "I want to see my Mother. Make a trade. Rain for me. She's just a girl, there's nothing my Mother could want with her besides that she can get to me."

"You're a fool," Rusty said, shaking his head. "Trinity plays dirty. She wouldn't trade off if she knew she could keep you both."

"Rain has nothing to give!" I screamed, and all the other guards laughed again.

"You're wrong," he said. "This was a dumb idea in the first place. You didn't think, didn't rationalize, and now you're in a mess you can't get out of."

I thought. My bruises ached as much as my heart, but I had to say something to try and defend myself. "Sometimes you've got to go with stupid plans," I said, "So you can go along with your heart."

It was cheesy, but at least some of my very last words would be a bit noble. We reached the deepest part of the castle and Rusty pulled the iron door open. He threw me none too gently into my cell, then shut the door so there was pitch blackness all around. I heard the guards laugh one last time, then footsteps march away as the door was locked.

Moans from the dungeons were all around me, and the walls leaked. I could hear the rats scuttling across the floor, and feel the icy stone underneath my sore knees suck the warmth from my body.

I was back in Pakavel's dungeons.


	10. Sisters

These caverns are long, and dark, and I am tired. I am unbelievably lost and wandering around aimlessly, with no hope or point to my destination. I'm not sure whether to go home or stay out here, to run away or to simply do nothing at all. I plop down, pull off my shoes and rub my feet. They hurt. The fire I've been holding has been dimming, and I just noticed now. I'm not sure how long my magic's going to hold out.

_Evin, Evin,_ my mind whispers. _What have you gotten yourself into?_

I wipe more tears from my face. How should I know? I was always pampered all my life, led a sheltered existence that I am grateful for yet one that is crippling. I never had to depend on myself before, not for my survival. I didn't have the slightest idea how to take care of myself.

_Why are you worrying? I will take care of you,_ my mind says again. I pause in my movements and are confused; who's talking to me?

My eyelids droop. I just want a nap. I want to lay down in this dirt and take a very long, deep sleep.

So I do.

Later I wake up and find myself surrounded in darkness. My fire springs up in my hand again; I'm rested now so it's bigger, but not by much.

I had been gone for at least twenty four hours. I couldn't see what was spread out ahead of me, what was my life, except what tiny space the light illuminated. I was hungry, and tired. I had no idea where Rusty was, and I didn't care. I hope he fell in a hole.

I drew my legs up to my chin. No, I didn't wish that. I didn't want anything bad to happen to him. But I did want him to go away, and never come back. I didn't want to have to see him again. Let him be happy somewhere else, but not around me.

There's a light. A light coming down fro the tunnel. Maybe I am dead? I squint and I see many boots coming my way, many footsteps padding along the floor.

"Princess." A very strong servant called Opollo lifts up a lantern so I can see his frightening, demonic face. My mother sends this guy out to track people down…and not bring them back.

I come to my feet. His guard is behind him, a bunch of brutes who look like they're having too much of a good day already. Opollo grabs my arm and says, "With us, your majesty. Your mother has been looking for you."

We start walking down the dark hallway. Opollo is being rougher with me then he should have been, and I have a feeling that if I gave an order, that none of them would follow it. They aren't making eye contact with me, nor saying a word directed in my direction.

My stomach sinks as I remember the laws of Pakavel. Of course. I am a runaway, as good as a traitor in my mom's book. If she thinks I'm good enough to be her daughter again, everyone has to act like nothing happened and treat me as good as I please. But if she denies me, the palace subjects are supposed to take me out and stone me, or worse.

I'm being treated like a convict. I couldn't run, not with all of these brutish men gathered around me like a cage. I could fall all of these guards with one magical blow, but my mother would just send more after me and I hadn't eaten in forever. I would never get out of these caves, let alone woods, without fainting first, and her soldiers would catch up. Then my sentence would be worse.

…What's more, I don't think I can leave my mother, not even when my life hangs in the balance if whether she's in a good mood or a bad mood.

I look closely into Opollo's face. I wonder how they found me in these caverns. Rusty must have told them, but he knows how much of a crime treachery is and that I could get killed for it, which means…

He stabbed me in the back.

I can't breathe…he…what he did…he wanted me to die. That's why he didn't chase me. I bite back tears, but no time for that; he's useless to me now, even worse, he's became an enemy. How could I ever have liked him?

I'm starting to be ignored, which I'm not used to. But my situation can only get worse, so I keep quiet and listen in on the conversation.

"Hey Opollo," one of them says, "That was a pretty nice shiner you gave that kid. Right in the eye."

"Yeah," One of them laughs. "Kid can't take a punch. It was so funny, watching him get tossed around like a sack of flour!"

My stomach flips. Did Rusty get in trouble? Or was it one of the other servants? Opollo grunts and says, "Quiet you. We're not supposed to talk about the king's capture."

"He's a king alright, because we sure crowned him!" Somebody else roars. Everyone laughs, and even Opollo's mouth twitches a bit. "King Lightstaryang, the leader of Condolet! More like the leader of bruises! Little snot-nose didn't even try to fight back!"

They all laugh again, and I gasp. My half brother was captured, after all this time? But what had happened?

"Stupid idiot came pounding on the door and howling like a dog, remember?" Another snickers. "Wanting his little Rain back. Well, he's not gonna get her in this lifetime, that's for sure!"

He turned himself in? The despise that I have towards him is moved by a bit of pity…the fool…how could he have thought he would have saved his friend that way…?

Opollo's steps quicken and I'm practically being dragged along. Well, one things for sure. If Mother's as angry with me as the guards are making her out to be, I'm going to be joining him in whatever punishment he's going to receive.

In my bow I am trying hard not to shake. By the laws of Pakavel, Mother has every right to kill me. Rusty's words come back to me, how she didn't hesitate to kill Yin. But Mommy loved me, didn't she? She loved me.

Mother rises from her throne. She glides over to me and her robe sweeps across the floor, her face full of sorrow. "Evin, Evin, why did you run?"

I gulp. "I…I'm sorry Mother."

"You wanted to leave me? You were going to let your dear old mother alone in this big castle without her baby? You…you were going to leave like your daddy?"

I shake. Mother's face darkens and she slaps me across the face; the blow echoes across the room and her nails, which are long, have scratched me deep. I start crying and I say, "Mama, Mama, I'm so sorry."

"What did you want, Evin? Why did you leave?" she asks, her voice raking, worse than the slap.

"I-" I choked back more words. I had to tell her the truth. It was the only thing I had. I took a ragged gasp and I said, "I-"

"I know what you wanted," she says abruptly, and I look up. "You wanted to find your half brother, didn't you? You wanted to bring him back to me and be a hero for Mommy, didn't you?"

Shock ices over my veins. I swallow slowly. Then I drop my head. "Ye-Yes. Yes Mom, that's what I was doing."

Her anger is gone; her softness is back, her gentleness soothing. "Oh, little Evin," she says, and she draws me close within her arms. "I understand. I understand now." She kisses the place where she hit me and said, "Does little Evin want to play?"

I gulp, then I nod. Mother kisses my head and says, "Then you'll get your chance, love. Your sibling is down in the dungeons, and once he gathers his strength, we'll have a fight. Whatever Evin wants, Evin gets."

I bit my lip, fighting the old phrase. I hated it. I hated it now. She pats my head and says, "Do a favor for Mommy and go to see him. Now. Tease him, taunt him. Get him riled up before the big fight. It'll be that much more fun when you win, believe me darling. Go on, go play."

She sends me off and I don't hesitate to get out of there. Mother has spared me, though at a price. It was something that I had always planned on, however, but now didn't want. But it didn't matter. I was going through with it now, no matter what. I had to keep her thinking this was what I had wanted, had desired. If I wanted to keep my life, I was going to have to fight Yang.

It's dark and damp down here; I had forgotten how horrible these dungeons really were. It would be easy enough to get Yang angry down here, but fired up, hardly. This place sucked whatever fire out of you that it could. I was going to have too easy a time kicking him all over the place when the time came to fight.

I pause in my steps. Mom didn't expect me to…kill him, did she?

I pass a door, and I hear a crooning sort of sound coming from within the room, like an injured dove. This wasn't the cell number the guards had given me, yet I felt the need to enter. I waved my hand over the lock (only me and my mother's magic was powerful enough to open the door) and entered.

A black haired girl sat mourning in the corner, her skin pale and her dress torn. At first I didn't know why she was down here…then it hit me. As it did, I understood I needed to see this girl. I needed to know what was so special about her that Yang threw himself at the mercy of the enemy. I closed the door behind me and she looked up, her hair falling across her face.

There never was a girl who looked more like a servant than this one. Her gaze was lowered, her movements soft. I stayed where I was and asked, "Are you Rain?"

She wiped her face. "Yes. And who are you?"

I don't hesitate. "Evin. I'm Trinity's daughter."

"You don't look like much," she says, and I grimace. She's bare bones honest.

"Believe me," I say. "I could blow you apart with a blink of my eye."

"I don't doubt it." We stare at each other for awhile, before the silence is broken. "I never remember you being around the castle, all my life," the servant girl says, looking at me. "Where did your mother hide you all this time so that I never saw you?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I never saw you either. I guess my mom's just really good at keeping things hidden."

"Do you know why Trinity wanted me?" she asked, and her eyebrows are raised. I put my hands on my hips and say, "I beg your pardon?"

"Trinity took me first, and nobody else. I don't know why."

"Probably thought it was the best way to get to my half-brother."

"She thought he kidnapped you."

"Really?" I tilted my head. "She didn't make it seem like it. She charged me for the crime of running away."

"You should thank the Lord that you are still alive. Trinity wouldn't forgive that of anybody else."

I close my eyes. "I know."

Water drips across the floor. "You've been betrayed by someone you loved, haven't you?" Her voice vibrates off the walls and my eyes snap open. I move closer and I say, "Um…sorry, _what?"_

"It's plain to see on your face," she whispers. "It was Rusty, wasn't it?"

I shake my head, quickly, in denial. "No. It wasn't him."

"I know how you loved him," Rain said, and she looks up at me. "I know."

"How do you know?" I spat.

"He told me. When he was spying on my king, or you, or simply playing us both." My eyes widen, and she says, "Oh yes. He knew that you liked him. But now you are like me. Both of us are alone. We can never be with the ones we love. Yang and I will never be."

"How could you love someone like him?" I whispered. For the first time, I mentioned my half brother without any anger or hatred; I asked a question gently and honestly.

Rain blinked. "He's a great leader. He saved me from what I was. Without him, I would have died at your father's hands. Your portrait of him has been painted by greed, and spite. He's not the enemy you think he is."

"He can't be the person you think he is either."

"I don't know who he is," Rain said, and she began crying. "I just know that I'm never going to see him again. And it's all Trinity's fault. Her stupid, stupid fault."

Rain was crying and crying, and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted to go to her and give her a hug, but it would be really weird embracing somebody who you were supposed to be fighting with, so I stayed away.

After another dry, heaving sob I couldn't take it anymore. I moved closer and wrapped my arms around her, kneeling down to her height. She stopped crying; her body went ridged in shock and I let go quickly enough, backing away. I opened the dungeon door behind me and slipped out, popping my head in quickly. "I'll be back," I said to her, then I locked the door shut.

My hands at my sides, I headed outside. Whatever connection this chick had to my bro, it wasn't worth what Mom was putting her through. I didn't care if she ended up cleaning up mud off the kitchen floor; it was better than living in that chamber, away from the world and going mad. Servants never really had it all that bad anyway. They were technically a part of the royal household and had better lives than most of our people. Because of the way they acted to each other, almost like a family, I sometimes believed that their lives were more fulfilling than my own.

…I had never seen it, but this girl was another one who was just like me. Maybe I could convince Mother to let me be my personal servant and then we could be like best friends. It's been a long time since I've had a best friend. I'm not even sure if I can recall even having one.

I pulled my hair back. Hey, I might have lost Yin. But as far as I'm concerned, I gained a blood sister in the process. And if Yang wanted her back, well, that was her choice. I wouldn't be able to hold Rain back, not after seeing that.

But my new sister would stay. She would have to, or else I would die.

Okay, melodramatic, but you get my point.

At the very least…my sister was down there, my real, living sister, not the phantom one I had been chasing, and now it was up to me to get her out.

_We're nearing the end, but soon everything will come to a breaking point…keep checking in, because when it comes to the next chapter and Yang's point of view, nothing is going to be the same. _


	11. Her

I sighed and sat up, a groan escaping my lips. I felt awful. And no, not in the way that I was all beat up and bruised. Yeah, that hurt too, but not half as much as what was going on with me right now.

My mind was on the attack.

The prison floor was cold as I readjusted myself on the stone. It was one of _those _days. The days that I thought I had escaped from but never would, the days where hope had no feathers yet flew away anyway. There was nothing for me to do but wait it out and suffer, just like there was nothing for me to do in here but wait until something else happened. On days like this, it felt like I wanted to die.

But today, I just might get my wish.

I scratched my ankle. Toying with what you were given was dangerous. I kept pushing the envelope, and it had finally snapped. I had given up my safety, Rain's safety, and the safety of my kingdom for a small chance. I lost the gamble. Life had killed my dream, and it felt like I couldn't go on. If I had been at home I would have laid on my bed for hours and simply stare out the window. People would ask if I was sick and I would lie, saying I was. I wouldn't eat, or move. I would just sit there and let my emotions torture me. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know what else to do now.

I clenched and unclenched my hand. Did I even want to do this anymore? Let the beatings keep washing over me until a temporary high came and took it away, then go back to taking hits again?

A particularly bad memory entered my head and I winced. What was wrong with me? I was so, so sick.

Somebody…please…make me stop pitying myself…

It's so hard to breathe…

And all I had was time. Time stretching out far in front of me, filled with an empty blankness that terrified me.

All I can do is utter a cry for help.

I curled up into a ball. I wanted to die…I would hurt myself, but I had made a promise…I had made a promise. It would kill so many people if anything happened to me. It would kill them. So what had I done? Thrown myself in this, headfirst…

Somebody let out a low noise. There was a fellow prisoner in here with me. I rolled over on my back to see long bars extending from the floor to the ceiling, with somebody else on the other side. At the sight I jumped up, shouting, "Rain!"

She saw me and let out a loud cry. She extended her arms through the bars and I ran into them, the cold metal keeping us apart as we sank to the floor, weeping.

"Are you alight? Are you alright?" she repeated, grabbing my face. Her fingers trailed over the various cuts and bruises, yet no touch ever felt so good.

"I'm fine. And you?" You could tell my voice was scared.

"Nothing has harmed me." We came as close as we could to each other, the metal grinding into our skin. "What did you do?" she whimpered. _"What did you do?"_

"I wouldn't leave you here. I couldn't," I said. "I traded myself in."

"Yang-" she started.

"I know." I rested my forehead against hers, for that's all that the bars would allow. "What about you? Why is your cell right here?

"I have been wandering this cell for a long time. It is as big as a great hall, and they never chained me up, so I have free reign of it. Once Evin left I had nothing else to do so I wondered, why not? Then I ventured into the darkness, and found these bars-"

"Whoa whoa, hold up! Evin is here?" I questioned, jolting back.

Rain nodded. "She's coming back for me. She gave me a hug."

"A _hug?"_ I said, amazed that Evin was capable of affection.

"Yeah. She's an odd person, Evin. You're going to have to fight her, you know."

"Obviously. That was Mother's plan all along, I bet."

"Mother's?"

"Issues," I said simply, and she left it at that. I inhaled and asked, "What's Evin like?"

"She's everything we ever heard, and more. You've got to be on your guard when you're fighting her. She looks so much like Yin. She sounds like her too."

I sank against the bars. Fighting Evin would be harder now, because she was going to look like Yin. But I had to do it. I had to do it for my friend. I sighed and she sank down with me, reaching over and taking my hand. "Rain," I murmured, and a sadness swept over me again. "Why did Yin have to go?" It was the question I kept asking over and over; it would be, it seemed, the question I would ask my whole life, however much longer that would be.

Rain clenched my hand. "When we're hurting God bandages us up and gives us people to use as crutches. Sometimes once we're healed God takes the crutch gently away, and says we have to learn to walk on our own now."

My mouth dropped open. I stared at her in awe and she blinked back at me, quietly and with wondrous eyes. She brushed the hair out of her face and asked, "Did you really mean everything you said back there, or was that just to get me to stay?"

"It was to get you to stay," I whispered, "But I meant every word."

"Even the part about marrying me?"

"Especially that. I mean, I know we're young, but maybe-"

"In about ten or so years, maybe less or more," she said.

"It could be." We smiled at each other, aware of our empty words. We no more had ten years then ten days. Ten minutes, maybe. But we meant it at that moment, so we hoped it was enough. I looked at her. This was the best part of our relationship, this here. The talking. This was baring your soul to another person, and nothing ever felt as good.

There was nothing left to do but wait to…well, die. Rain grasped both of my hands now and held them there; what else could we do? Her breathing deepened and she began singing in a low voice, a voice that sounded like rain washing across my face.

"_In a perfect world _

_One we've never known _

_We would never need to face the world alone _

_They can have the world _

_We'll create our own _

_I may not be brave or strong or smart _

_But somewhere in my secret heart I know _

_Love will find a way _

_Anywhere I go I'm home _

_If you are there beside me _

_Like dark turning into day _

_Somehow we'll come through _

_Now that I've found you _

_Love will find a way."_

The lyrics vibrated throughout the empty caverns, filling it with its own kind of special light. I knew this song. This was the song Mother used to sing above my cradle…only she wasn't singing it to me, she had always sung it to Dad. I had it memorized. When Rain paused I picked up where she left off.

"_I was so afraid _

_Now I realize _

_Love was never wrong _

_And so it never dies _

_There's a perfect world _

_Shining in your eyes _

_And if only they could feel it too _

_The happiness I feel with you _

_They'd know _

_Love will find a way _

_Anywhere we go _

_We're home _

_If we are there together _

_Like dark turning into day _

_Somehow we'll come through_

_Now that I've found you _

_Love will find a way _

_I know love will find a way."_

Such a sappy smile she gave me, and I loved every particle of it. I leaned forward and through the poles we kissed, sweetly, softly and warmly.

"Twice in one day," I said, sitting back with my head swimming. "A new record."

"Any chance of wanting to break that?" Rain poked, and I laughed. A door opened from my left side; since I was looking at Rain from my right, I didn't know who it was.

"There she is. That's her," Rain said, whispering. As the door shut behind me I refused to turn around and stare her in the eye, see Evin for who she really was. I wanted to revel in the mystery of it for a little while longer, be lost in Rain's face, star struck with love. I didn't want to have to turn around and see my old enemy Eradicus reborn in his daughters eyes.

"You've got to win to get us out," Rain whispered, and I looked at her worried face. I nodded and closed my eyes, slowly standing up and letting myself turn, letting go of Rain's hands at the last second.

My eyes opened and I let out a ragged gasp, as if somebody had hit me in the stomach. Evin looked at me blankly, but it wasn't an angry look; it was a confused, I-thought-I-wanted-to-do-this-but-don't look.

That isn't why I had gasped, however. As I stared at my greatest match I knew one thing for certain. This was not my enemy. This was my full flesh and blood twin sister, the same one that had been crushed under the rocks so long ago, and the same one I had loved all my life.

My body started shaking. I took a timid step forward and whispered to the phantom girl, "Yin."


	12. No More Options

My heart jumps. I stare at him, and the madness (perhaps it is grief?) burns all over his face and bounces off the cell walls. "Um, no, I'm Evin. You've made a mistake. I may look a lot like my sister but-"

"No. No way," Yang says shaking his head. "You're Yin. I can see it in your eyes."

"That's a cheesy, overused line if I ever heard one," I said, rolling my eyes.

He laughs softly. "Yeah. That's just what Yin would say."

"Look, you're creeping me out!" I shout, glancing from his face to Rain's on the other side of the bars. "My mother-"

"Our mother," he says sappily.

"Wants me to fight you. Bing boom, end of story. So sorry, this isn't gonna be pretty. It'd probably be better if you closed your eyes." I raised up my palm full of fire, ready to strike.

He blinks at me. "You wouldn't hurt me. You couldn't. I'm one half, you're the other. Might and magic. If you bump me off, it's all over."

"You made that up."

"There's no way I could. You're incomplete without me."

"Are not!"

"Are so!"

"Are not!"

"Oh here you go, we're fighting again. How I missed it!" he says, laughing nervously. I take a step back, and he eagerly takes a step forward. I lower my palm. This guy is one hundred percent crazy. It isn't safe for me to be here with him. I can take the best of the best, but crazy…dealing with Mom is about as crazy as it gets. Looks like she passed it down, but he's worse than she is. He's a maniac.

He takes another step forward. "Get away from me!" I say, and I throw a shot of fire at him. He jumps aside and I stare; I hardly ever miss.

His eyebrows lower. "You don't remember? Don't…don't you remember me?"

"No, I can't say I do," I say sharply. "Thankfully."

He flinches. "But you have to! I mean, you look older and your hair's longer, but you're still you! You've even got that same scar across your eyebrow that you've had forever!"

My hand flashes to my head, running my fingers across the mark. "I got that mark across my head when I fell down the stairs a couple of months ago," I shoot back. "When I lost my memory."

"Nuh uh, I gave it to you when I hit you across the head with a plastic shovel in preschool," he said.

"You hit me across the head with a-!"

"Lost your memory?" Rain asks, peeking out of the bars.

I look at her, and a fizzle of our connection passes through the air. "Yeah. I fell down and bumped my head, then I got this cut. I got amnesia, and then Mom restored my memory."

"Is that the story they gave you?" he whispered.

"It wasn't a story! It was absolutely true!" I scream. I charge at him, fist raised, and he rolls out of the way, bouncing up against the wall and diving out of my reach.

He was a fast one. Sighing, he brushes his hair out of his eyes quickly and it falls sloppily into place. I have to wonder, does this kid ever get a haircut? It's obvious he's not one to take care of himself, but come on! He can slice up his arms but not his hair?

Crazy.

"What memories did she give you?" he asks, brushing back his hair again.

"Memories of my dad Eradicus," I say. "And growing up in the palace."

"Did you ever think that maybe she made those up? Placed them in your head?" he asks. "She does have the power, you know."

I'm breathing hard. Yeah, Mom did have the power, but that doesn't mean that what this lunatic says is true. "Give me proof," I say, demanding it. "I can't believe anything you say without proof."

He drops his head. Tears well up in his eyes and he says, "You don't know me. You don't even know-"

"I never did!" I shout.

"Yes you did!" Yang shouts back. "You're my sister!"

"Stop!" Rain says, and we both look at her. "Yang," she says. "I don't know if she is Yin, but if you think so you've got to try something. There must be something you can think of that'll get to her."

"Thanks for talking like I'm not even here," I say, crossing my arms.

He drums his fingers on his legs while I doubt. He stops drumming as he gets an idea and he says, "The song. The song from the music box."

"What?" I snap, irritated.

He doesn't answer. He starts singing in a low, soft voice;

"_Be brave, little one._

_So much life has in store for you. _

_You will fight for love,_

_And loss,_

_And pain,_

_Yet I will see you through._

_Be wise, new one. _

_You are my ever light._

_My shining star at night. _

_There's a glow inside of you._

_Be strong, young one. _

_Destiny awaits you now._

_And though I'm not by your side,_

_Think of me,_

_And I will never be far away."_

As he finishes, a warmth spreads through me. A recollection of images…an old man, a dojo, a small safe house in the middle of a hole, appear to me. As I look at his face the thoughts become a little clearer…I remember falling down a long cliff, then hitting my head, and passing out. Nothing more then this, however. Now that I have these ideas, I wonder where they came from. Am I Yin?

But I'm still unconvinced. I can't admit it, not yet.

"I'm…I'm sorry," I say, and I am taken aback. Am I actually _apologizing_ to the enemy? He looks at me hopefully and I say, "I know that song, but Mom could have sung it to me when I was a baby, by myself. It's good, but it won't cover it.

He thinks. "If I come close to try and convince you, will you promise not to blow my head off? I won't hurt you."

I stay back, not wanting to trust him. Yet my curiosity is prodding, wanting answers. I nod slowly and he steps forward. He slowly takes my hand and I have to fight every instinct not to pull away and hit him; his touch is warm, and it remains burning on my skin as he shakes his left sleeve down his arm and places my fingers on his upturned wrist. My skin touches a large, upraised welt, a scar that is aged and ugly.

"Over a year ago," he says, "I cut myself too deep. I was bleeding to death, and you got Dad. Remember?"

My mind is blank. He closes his eyes and I don't take my hand away from the horrible mark, but instead envelop it even more, covering it up. "It was in the old castle where you yanked up my sleeves and showed Dad. It was just like this, I'll never forget it. You grabbed my sleeves and said 'He…cuts!'"

He drew his hand away and rips up his sleeve so fast that I gasp. There they are, all red and burning, and I remember seeing him in the forest, dipping into his legs and stomach and finally his arms as I stood watching in terror…

"Get away from me!" I scream. I clutch my head and bend over as I'm hit by wave after wave of recollections…the fake memories all blast away as I see Yang, a little two year old unwilling to share, Yang, a third grader upset because I had broke his favorite toy, Yang, a ten year old struggling over his essay while I helped and Yang, fourteen with a dead look in his eyes, unable to feel or cry, my heart dying for him as I knew what happened every time he went into the bathroom and I wasn't there to stop him…

I'm shaking as the realization hits me. "You kept doing it!" I shout. "You kept doing it, even though I was begging you to stop!"

"Yin." He steps forward, arms extended.

"Don't call me that! I'm Evin, Evin!" my throat tears. I attack him first, pouncing on him like a lion and my arms extended towards his throat.

We crash onto the floor and we start wrestling, me grabbing his hair and kicking his legs. I want to hit every part of him, hurt him for all that he's done to us, to me. I punch, not even wanting to use magic. He's mine, all mine.

But he's stronger than me. He's a boy, and I'm a girl, so he's stronger than me. Stronger stronger stronger. It never worked that way when I was younger, but we were older now. The table had turned, and it was spilling things all over me.

Who was crazy now?

He refuses to hurt me, pinning my arms behind my back. "What are you doing?" he says, and I hear the choked yowls of the leopard Rain behind me. "Why do you keep fighting me?"

"You took everything from me!" I say. "It wasn't yourself you were cutting, it was me!"

"You remember?" he says, shocked.

"Everything. I'm not sure if I believe it." His surprise gave me time to stomp on his foot hard enough so that he loosens his grip and I wiggle out of it. He tries pulling me back but I tear away; with his strength he could have yanked me back and held me easily, but he didn't want to.

And still I stayed. I still looked at this boy with angry eyes. I charged forward and pinned him against the wall, and Rain let out a vicious cry through the bars.

"What are you going to do?" he whispers, heart broken. "You can't do anything to me that you haven't already done."

"You were always Mother's favorite!" I hiss, growling into his face.

The spark that ignited his eyes, the one that I was so used to seeing, even already, had gone out. "I guess we're equal then. You were always Dad's."

That statement cripples me. I let him crumple out of my arms and I lean against the wall, emotionally exhausted. Dealing with Yang has always made me emotionally exhausted, whether I became angry, or extremely happy, or distraught. Rain has already changed back and is fully dressed, her face hurt and longing for us to understand each other.

I look at him and he looks at me. We stay this way for five minutes…for five years…forever. He tugs his sleeves down and starts rubbing his arms; this is awkward. There is nothing but awkwardness, and the awkwardness is a page that refuses to turn so that we can all get on with our lives…

"So what do we do now?" Rain asks, breaking the ice. "Where do we go from here?"

Yang, the leader, looks at me, as if he's expecting _me_ to take his place, to tell him what to do. But what can I do? Right now, I'm clueless.

"Even though I remember stuff," I say slowly. "I still don't know if I believe you. You could've put them, the memories, there just like she might have."

"Do I look like I'm that good?" he asks.

"No. But how should I know? But don't go asking me to go around hugging you or anything like that. Just because I might be Yin doesn't mean that I am her."

"What do you mean?" he asks quickly.

"I still don't love you yet," I say. "And even if all of this is true, I may still not love you. I could be your twin, but the connection may be gone. I hated you like, a day ago. I can't just swap over within a couple of hours. You…you may have lost Yin anyway. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still Evin, even if I'm not, and I'm not on anybody's side until I'm sure that I love them, whether it's you or Mom."

He drops his head. He's crying silently again. I actually feel bad, for making him feel like this, but it's the truth. It's better than living a lie. I walk over to the bars that Rain is behind and I say, "Well, the best I can do is break you out."

"You're helping us?" my "brother" asks behind me in disbelief.

"Of course I am. Now stand back." I point to Rain and she goes to the back wall quickly. Yang stands next to me and asks, "Are you sure you're not going to hit her, Yin?"

"Evin," I say. "And I'm not. Not on purpose or otherwise."

He's doubtful, but I could care less. I raise my arms and the bars melt like Jell-o in the sun; there's little more than a pile of sludge when I'm done. Rain carefully steps over the muck, then collapse into Yang's arms.

I _really _have to try not to vomit as a spell of jealousy washes over me. "Alright, alright, save the cuddling for later. Right now we've got to get out of here." I pull them apart and I head for the door, the two lovers following.

"How do I know if you're not leading us into a trap?" Yang says suspiciously, his arms wrapped around Rain's body and her arms around his as they walk in a sort of fluid dance.

"I would have killed you by now," I say sharply. "I've done a lot of bad things, but I'm not a backstabber."

"Says you," he says, his eyes steely.

I turn to him. "Yes, says me."

He's angry with me. Bitter because I'm not who he needs, upset because I didn't give him the touching reunion with his long lost sister that he's probably played over and over again in his head for months. Well sorry for that, but I'm Evin! He needs to learn to deal with it, and honestly, I'm saving his life. The smallest courtesy he could do was show some gratitude.

I lead our little party out the door and up the kitchen steps. "Don't run away," I whisper, and the noise bounces off the walls and trickles unto the floor. "You'll have no chance of getting out."

"And with you we do?" Yang whispers back.

"I know this place like the back of my hand, and I could blast any threat away without thinking about it."

"Almost any threat."

"Mom doesn't count," I say.

"What happens when we get out? Are you coming with us?" Rain asks.

I pause, and their footsteps stop too. I don't know. Was I going with them? It was obvious from the glare Yang was giving me, the one that was burning into my back, that he expected it. But did I want to leave? What life was out there for me? People would want my head once they found out who I was…but Mom wouldn't exactly be throwing a tea party once she found out that the prisoners escaped either. And if she found out I helped them…

I was risking it all, for no benefit to myself. There was no safe place anywhere.

"Yi-…Evin." Yang chokes on the word. I glance back and he says, "We've got to keep moving."

I nod. "Right." I start again and I say, "To answer your question Rain, I guess I'll know when we get there."

The light blinds our eyes as we enter back into the main part of the castle. I want to fall against the windows and soak up the sun, let it sink into my pores and clean out all this confusion. Let the sunlight purify this curiosity of who I am. But that's not going to happen. Not today.

A group of guards round the corner. We all pause instantly as the head of the group lets out an exclamation and claims, "The pri-"

He and all the rest of them go flying backward against the wall before any of them can signal the alarm. Rain and Yang look at me in fear; I never moved a muscle.

"They're knocked out," Yang whispers as we pass them, watching as their open mouths drip drool and a small trickle of blood seeps out of the corner of one guy's cheek.

He looks away. I cock my head and say, "What, too much for you?"

"Don't mind blood. But it isn't a good thing for me to see," he says.

"But you're a cutter," I say. "I thought you loved seeing stuff like that."

His face went cold. "You're just like all the others. People always want to focus on the gore of my problem when really, it's not about that."

"What is it about, then?" I hiss as we keep creeping along the walls.

He blinks. "It's about what's inside." He peers around the corner and I'm surprised when I hear him swear. "You've led us into a trap!" he whispers.

"What, no I have not!" I protest, peering around with him.

"What does that look like, a parade?" he growls as we watch a crowd of bored looking soldiers stand guard outside the main door.

I bite my lip. "Well, fine. We'll head the other way."

"I thought there was only one way out."

"Don't be a drip," I snarl nastily, and I start running quietly back the way we came. Yang and Rain, who are still clinging to each other, struggle to keep up.

"In here," I say, opening up a vent in the wall. "You've got to crawl through it."

"Are you kidding me?" Yang asks, staring.

"I don't like dark and tiny spaces," Rain trembles. She cowers away and buries her head in Yang's shirt.

I struggle to keep my patience. I stomp my foot once, then I kick open the vent. "In here or die," I point.

"I'll go first," Yang promises, looking lovingly at Rain. "That way you'll have nothing to be afraid of. And Evin will bring up the rear."

"Thanks for volunteering me," I mumble grumpily. With what is already becoming the usual, he doesn't hear.

"Okay," Rain says, lip trembling. He places a soft kiss on her head.

Disgusting.

Yang gets down on his knees and both us girls follow in his lead, me turning around and refastening the vent behind us as to not arouse suspicion. As it is, I feel like I've sealed us in a tomb.

"Would you mind telling me where I'm going?" Yang says, cobwebs sticking to his head while he tries to navigate the endless realm of the vent-maze.

"Left, right, then left again. It'll take you right into the ballroom."

"The ballroom!" Rain exclaims. "But that's the biggest room, we're sure to be-"

"Shh," I say. "There's nobody there this time of the day. We'll make a run for it."

"You're coming with us then?" Yang asks.

I swallow. "Not sure."

"Well you had better decide soon if you are!"

"I'm going to!"

"Stop fighting!" Rain says not too quietly, and I cringe. "They'll hear us talking!"

"More like they'll hear you-"

"Just stop talking altogether," Yang snaps, and we all fall silent. After five more minutes of scraping up my knees and chafing my hands Yang says, "Ow," and I peer around Rain to see that he's hit his head on the other vent.

"Get down," I say, and I raise my arm. The vent goes flying and we scramble out, gasping for fresher air and happy to be out of the vents.

"The door's over there," I point, and we turn towards it to break into a run. But as we do the door opens and we freeze. Our worst nightmare enters through that opening, and the whole world collapses around my ears and becomes milk, churning together while sound and sight are one…

"Good job Evin," Mother praises as her whole army files in behind her. "You got your brother."

"No, Yang, I didn't mean it!" I plead as he whips around, terrified.

"And the girl too! She's bait," Mother says, smiling even more. She crosses the whole length of the ballroom in seconds and snatches Rain by the hand; Yang is still holding onto her but Mother waves her hand carelessly and he falls to the floor, screaming in pain.

"Mom, stop, he didn't mean any harm!" I scream. Yang's twitching stops but Mother still drags Rain away her grip, vice like and unrelenting. She easily hands Rain off to a guard. "Put her with the traitor. She'll be dessert," Mother says loudly. Rain struggles to get away but the guard throws her over his shoulder easily. He strides into the hall, in a direction opposite the dungeons. The whole terrible, filthy mob laughs and Yang struggles to get off the floor; he barely has strength to stand.

Mother floats to her throne and sits on it as a swan queen, an ice princess. The guards (and now, I see, servants too) form a large circle around us, closing in on every corner and section so there's no escape.

Mother's serpent gaze settles straight on me, and only on me. For once I am the only thing in the world to her. It's all I ever wanted…and now that I have it, I hate it. I hate it because I now have it for all the wrong reasons.

"Go on now, Evin," Mother orders. "Finish him off."


	13. Fighting the Lost Battle

The whole room doesn't stir unless Evin moves. With every step she cautiously takes the place draws breath; with every twitch of her fingers a wave of excitement runs through the guards. Every time she blinks, Trinity's smile gets wider. My sister was in total control of the situation, yet was a slave to it at the same time. She wasn't getting a choice in this.

I shiver on the floor, wanting it to be over already. I was tired of getting my hopes up only to always have them dashed at the last second. We had nearly made it out, only to find Trinity waiting nearby. I had found Yin, but it didn't matter; I had only found her body, with Evin in her place. The person standing above me wasn't my sister. It was a confused girl who didn't remember or know what she was or why she was it. What was worse, this girl was my only hope. She would either be my savior or my executioner.

…Had that time that I had spent with Rain just been a last wish?

I didn't know. I wasn't afraid of dying. I just hoped Evin would do it quickly, so I wouldn't be any more humiliated then I already was. And I knew Rain would be okay…if I got blasted away, Trinity would be happy and Evin could do whatever she wanted with my friend. Which was good because obviously, Evin seemed to really like Rain. My girl would be safe.

"What are you hesitating for, Evin?" Trinity asked. "We're all waiting."

Evin looks at me, and I look at her. Her eyes say she wasn't ready for this; she didn't want to fight me, didn't want to take a life. She didn't know who I was, but she didn't want me dead. Those blue eyes swam in pity, and fear…they almost seemed to say…

_Save me._

I froze. That was Yin. That was Yin, right there. My little sister was hiding in those eyes, and she was asking her big brother to protect her. Yin was using Evin as a shield, but it wasn't enough. She needed me too.

I understood what I had to do.

"Wait!" I cry aloud, and the room stopped. As the world spins around me I say, "I don't want to fight her!"

"What you want is irrelevant," Trinity says without the slightest bit of mercy.

"I want to fight you instead!" My voice echoed around the room, and the impossible happened; the room got icier, more silent. The anticipation faded to be replaced with fear.

Trinity stared at me. Then she threw back her head and laughed, and laughed and laughed and laughed. Her taunting seemed to go on forever. "Fight me, child? You want to fight me? Oh what a joke, what a game."

She chuckled some more, then sniffed and shook her head, beaming. "Really now, can't you just play with Evin?"

"She's not enough." I pretend to choke out a humorous laugh (Trinity hated it when somebody was mocking her, this I knew), and the room stepped back in shock. I wipe a pretend tear from my eye and say, "She's just a little girl. I'll be done with her in no time."

"You couldn't take down my guards, yet you think Evin is too little a challenge for you?" Her good mood vanished to be replaced with a sour bitterness that everyone tasted.

My mind wheels. "I could have taken them down if I wanted to. But I wanted to find my friend, and I knew they would take me to her if I pretended I couldn't fight them."

"That's true." Trinity got up off her throne. "Well then, if you want to fight me, I see no objection. Out of the way, Evin."

"No!" Evin shouted. She turned to me and whispers, "Are you crazy? She'll kill you!"

"Better her than you," I whispers back. "Do me a favor and try to keep your soul clean. Watch out for Rain." I clamber to my feet clumsily, and Trinity shoves Evin roughly aside. The queen walked up so the trail of her dress was sitting at my feet. "You know the rules?"

"No, but I don't see why I need to know them," I shrug.

Her smile only widenes. "You're straightforward."

"Only some of the time."

We stare at each other for a long while, the tension rising. As we stared I noticed our enmity growing stronger. So much for Terrence's brilliant plan of showing me to my mother. I might as well have been a stranger off the street to her.

A ball of fire blooms up in both of her hands. I crouch into a battle stance and she gives a low chuckle, saying, "Let the games begin."

The crowd let a loud wave of praise swamp through the halls of the castle as Trinity made her offense. Crashes of a body hitting the walls and furniture rang out, with few breaks in-between except to hear the mob chant for more. Rain pounded against the door, her fists battering the heavy wood over and over. "We've got to get out of here, we have to save him! Do you hear it? She's killing him out there!"

The cheers, moans, and loud bangs continued. In the large bedroom where they were imprisoned Rusty simply sat on the bed, staring at the girl. "And what, get ourselves killed too?"

"If we must!" Rain slammed her body into the door again.

"We'll be obliterated the instant we put a foot outside this room. You know that won't help."

"Then do something that will! You've got more strength then I do, more skill and smarts!"

"What if I don't want to do anything?"

"Then don't bother being locked up with the rest of us! Why are you even here, anyway?" Rain swept her hair out of her eyes and tried again.

"I betrayed Trinity. I told her information that was false, to get at her treasury."

"Stupid reasons. The love of money," Rain spat angrily. "You betrayed us too! You used Evin to try and find your love, and before that you gave information about Condolet to Trinity! You're a backstabber on all sides! Whose side are you on?"

"I'm on nobody's side but my own."

"Your life is useless, then, if you love no one and only look after yourself! Break down this door, you coward!"

"I have loved before!" Rusty bellowed. "I loved more strongly then you ever did, and you know where it got me? In a worse situation then I was before! As she died, I died with her!"

"Yin is not dead!" Rain screamed, and she power-kicked the door. "She's alive!"

"Prove it." Rusty's voice was bitter.

"Trinity modified your memory," Rain growled, struggling with the knob. "And Evin's too. Only she's not Evin, she's really-"

"You can't be serious. I'd know," Rusty protested, his face becoming horrified.

"She looks different because you haven't seen her in two years. She still acts like Yin, doesn't she?"

"Well, yes…"

"Then believe!" Rain shouted. "Just trust me! If you don't, Yang will-"

"He will die." Rusty's eyes flashed back and forth.

"Anything," Rain said, and she was breaking in two. "Anything to get us out. You can help us, I know you can. You're heartbroken, but it doesn't have to stay that way! She's out there, only she's Evin now! Don't you still love her?"

"Of course," Rusty said, jumping off the bed and rushing to Rain's side.

"Don't let me end up like you," Rain pleaded. "I don't want to lose my love."

Rusty struggled with himself, the indecision flitting across his face. He grimaced, then his eyes turned to flint. "Fine. This door is going down. But not without your help."

Rusty leaned over, put his lips next to Rain's ear, then whispered a fragile, gentle name. Her eyes blossomed at the word, and the girl fell to the ground in shock.

A wardrobe smashed, and I lost count of the things that I had been thrown into. The wood crumpled around me and I lied immobile on the floor. I couldn't tell if there were any bones broken. Everything else hurt too much to tell.

"You were lying to me," Trinity says, and her voice is angry. "You said you could battle me fairly."

"Now when did I ever say that?" I cough, blood spilling from the corners of my mouth.

Trinity screams, and she grabbed a vase and threw it at me, the shards spilling across the floor. The cheering stopped; nobody wanted to cross Trinity when she was this infuriated. I pushed myself to my feet again and charged at her; I resisted letting out a scream of pain as I did a front flip in the air and landed behind her, planning to strike a crushing blow to her shoulder. She twirled around faster then I could see and had my legs out from under me in a minute, stomping on the exact spot that I had planned to hit. I let out a wail, and pushed her foot off of me so I could crawl away, then strike at her again. The instant I got to my feet she backhanded me so hard that I went flying once again into the wall.

My face lies against the cold stone. Things were starting to go blurry. If she kept striking me, I could go blind. I watched Evin out of the corner of my eye, saw her cower against the corner with wide eyes and an open mouth._ That's right, Evin. Stay away. The farther you are, the safer Yin is._

Air comes into my lungs in quick, penetrating gasps. This wasn't right. I couldn't fight Trinity without my sword, and even f I did have it, the odds would still be strictly in her favor. By the slim chance that I did beat her, I was horribly outnumbered.

It wasn't like I had the heart to fight my mother anyway.

A servant nearby was longing to attack me too. I could practically feel his frustration, his pent up rage, radiating off of him. He probably would have kicked me if not for the fact Trinity would go ballistic on him for interfering. So instead, he decided to just join in on all the taunts that were being thrown at me.

"Jesus Christ boy," he said. "Can't you fight back? Oh my God…"

As he said those words a terrible anger rose up within me. "Don't use God's name in vain," I say, pushing myself up off the floor, my arms shaking.

"What?" Trinity said, staring at me in distaste. The one servant looked surprised.

"I mean it. Don't do it." I manage to force myself to my feet, and my body screams out in terror.

Trinity's eyes are cold and mean, but I refuse to back down. She blinks at me, lowering her gaze. "Why?"

I glare. "Because it's an insult. Because it's the worst swear word you could ever say, and nobody will say it. Not when I'm around."

"I'm your mother. I tell you what to do, not the other way around."

"You're not my mom," I say. "My mom gave herself up for me a long time ago. I don't know what happened in-between the time she went away and became you, all I know is that you're not her."

Her lips rise to show bare teeth. We both run at each other and she whips up her hand; I almost got a hit on her before I got caught in her force field and end up being bounced up and down against the floor and ceiling, over and over and over…

"Mom stop, stop!" Evin cries, her voice tortured.

Bam. I hit the floor one last time, face down. Trinity walks over to me and turns me over with her foot; I stare up at her, dazed.

"So this is the true king of Condolet," she whispers, voice dripping with hate. "Lying broken at my feet."

I say nothing. She raises her hand to finish me off, but before she can, screams erupt from outside the main hall. Everyone turns to look at the door, even Trinity. She is poised like a deer who smells a hunter, her face set as stone.

The doors break, literally _break _open, and the entire Condolet army swarms in through its cracks. The guards are taken down by my soldiers and Trinity's servants are under arrest by my men.

Dad came through, even though I told him not to do anything. He had my country ready to fight for me in record time.

Leading the entire group is Rain, my Rain, with the traitor Rusty at her side. But the traitor Rusty seems to be on our side now, and through the crowd his voice calls, "Evin! Evin!"

I see my sister whip around and force her way through the battle to him; Trinity orders her soldiers to another place, pointing at someone that I cannot see. "Stop her, stop her, she's the rightful heir!" Trinity shouts. "She must not have the throne!"

"What?" I say, confused. I raise my head up to see who Trinity is pointing at, and once I do see who it is, my stomach plummets. Rain.

Trinity whirls around, her teeth clenched. "Oh yes child, I have it right. Your Rain is no slave girl at all. She is the last true Pakavelian, the final child born before her parents and siblings died at the hands of Eradicus."

Once again, I rise to my feet and start backing away. "The last true-"

"The only one who has pure Pakavelian bloodlines! Are you that dense?" Trinity screams.

My muscles ripple and my body goes numb. Putting a hand to my side I say viciously, "You took the crown from her!"

"I took nothing. Pakavel needed a leader. This girl was carried off in the final raids on the castle when she was a baby. Everyone thought she was dead. I and my brother became king and queen in her place. Eradicus brought her back when he found me, newly changed, but he was too stupid to see her for what she really was."

"And you were good before," I said. "You were a good queen, and a good mother, so what happened? What caused you to be evil?"

Trinity ignores me. "I was the one to see her born, and I was the one that named her. Rain. What a silly name to give a monarch. Her real name is _Vasilissa_."

I kept inching away. We had cleared a circle in the center of the battle, a protective shield nobody wanted to enter. After all, nobody came between the hunter and her meal.

"And you," Trinity said, and her voice was nastier than I had ever heard it before. "You think you have fallen in love with her, but all you feel is infatuation. A silly reason to die-"

I shut her out. This wasn't what I wanted to hear, not before I died. I let her drone on and on about how I didn't love Rain, how my life was useless, how she could never love me back.

Instead, I fell deeply into my coma of protection, watching Trinity's lips move as she pounded in emotional slap after slap. She just didn't understand, but then again, who did? Nobody understood how I loved her! Nobody comprehended that this wasn't just some dumb teenage crush, some superficial high that I needed to have. My parents didn't get it, not at all. Everyone always thought that I was taking care of her, and that she needed me more, that she was leaning on me to survive.

They all had it backwards. No, the only one who understood how I felt…was Rain herself.

I needed to see those eyes! I just…I just…

She made me happy. I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to be so, so happy…

"You're not listening, are you?" Trinity said, and this sentence was one that registered with my brain. "You're not paying me any attention."

I look at Trinity dead straight. I had done it. I did the one thing that would tick her off the most. I pretended like she wasn't important.

Her face turns horribly menacing. "Nobody ignores the Queen of Pakavel. Prepare to lose your life."

She obviously was expecting me to plead, to grovel. I don't. I simply prepare to do what she said. Once she made her move, it would be done and over with.

"Last chance," she hisses. Blue magic swirls in her enclosed fist.

I don't do anything. Like a child, at the last second I close my eyes. At the same time, like a warrior, I pray for my soul.

She hits. Life leaves immediately after. All my last thoughts are drowned out by all the screams and voices, my last heartbeat frail against the noise. To the world, I was dead before my body hit the ground.


	14. Mother?

My breath vanished with my brother's as his body slammed against the cold stone. I bit into my lip as slow tears trickled down my face, a river of shock and sorrow. Trin…Mom…Tri-Mother did it. She actually did it. He was dead.

The battle went on. In slow motion I ran towards where he fell, collapsing unto my knees while Rusty came to my side. TrinityMotherTrinityMother**TRINITY** was fleeing the scene; it hadn't been two seconds after he collapsed that she had turned her back and run into the crowd, leaving him behind as if she had cut down a tree instead of her own son.

His face was so still. So soon his skin was beginning to cool, losing warmth. His eyelids didn't twitch, his fingers didn't move. I cradled his head in my hands and, without the slightest bit of a warning, tears started to pour from my eyes as I let out horrid sobs.

Rusty picked up his wrist and felt for a pulse. I looked at him hopefully but he shook his head; my spirits dropped.

Rusty leaned forward and put his ear to my brother's chest. After a few precious seconds he slowly drew back up, and even with all the noise from the battle around us I could hear him say softly, neither in mourning or in joy, "There's no heartbeat."

Those words, said in a matter of fact way, in a stately manner, broke me. I put a hand behind my brother's head and whispered, "How could I have forgotten I loved you? How could I have forgotten?"

Evin had died with Yang. Yin was back. But what was the use of being myself again if I was missing the person that had tried so hard to find me, if I had lost the boy that had brought me back to who I was?

"I was so mean to you…" I cry softly. "So many times, even up until the end."

My head falls back and I let out a loud wail, a lament for what I had lost.

My arms are clean. Since the first time I could remember, my arms are clean. There was nothing on them. Spotless.

As I open my eyes I see that I'm standing in a patch of golden clouds, with an odd divide in the middle of the scene. I'm standing on the left side of this time, and not the right…this time.

Even though clouds are supposed to be vapor, everything feels solid. I had been here once before, when I had nearly gotten gored to death by Eradicus. And I had talked to my mother here too, my real mother, in this space that was not understandable to me. It had been brief, but from what I had grasped from it, this was the divide between the two worlds, the path between the living and the…I wasn't sure if it was the dying or the something else.

But I had been on the right side last time, the living side. Which meant that I was no longer living. Dead at fifteen.

Or was I dead? I wasn't sure. My arms hadn't been clean the last time I was here, at least, I don't remember so. I stare at them in awe; not even in dreams were my arms perfected. I had forgotten how beautiful they looked without the scars, how beautiful they were without all that pride, anger, and pain marking them up.

"They are lovely, aren't they? Quite glorious when left undamaged," A voice behind me soothed. I turned slowly around, knowing who it was; who else would it be?

Trinity smiled at me, her warmth radiating throughout. She was dressed in a much prettier dress than the one she had murdered me in, a much more sparkling crown. Her face wasn't angry or bitter, but full of love and mercy.

I don't take a step back, nor a step forward. My voice was neither bitter or praising when I said, "You killed me."

Her eyes softened. "No. No, never my son. It wasn't me that killed you."

"Sure looked like it," I said, staring back at her. Even though she had hurt me greatly, in more ways then one, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"It was Calamity," she said, and her voice wavered in fear. "Calamity did this, to all of us and to me."

"Calamity?" my voice was full of confusion.

"I am possessed, love," she said softly. "A thousand demons or more, perhaps. The Trinity that I am to your world isn't me. I have been possessed for nearly five years now, as a result of me asking for the dark to help me win the war against Eradicus, as a last resort, after you and your sister fled. I wish I had never done it. I should have let Pakavel fall."

"It fell anyway, didn't it?" I asked.

"Yes," she said sadly. "I had been lied to. And now I am trapped here, and have been trapped here for a very long time."

"Can't you break free?" I asked, coming closer to her.

She laughed softly. "My powers aren't enough to get me out of this one. A higher power is required, and I think you know what that means."

I did. Gulping, I said, "Is it really that bad? With all these clouds and all this sunlight?"

"It only seems that way to you," she said. "To me all I see are dark walls, and a cold floor. Daily I am tortured. I have no way out of Calamity's grasp. They do what they want with me."

"But why?" I whisper. "What happened to cause you to be possessed?"

She looked at me calmly. "Magic," she said. "Magic is the reason I'm imprisoned here, and magic is the reason that you were taken away from me."

"Magic?" I say, taken aback. "What could magic have to do with it?"

"Do you realize, darling, that every villain you have ever faced, every sort of evil you have come to contact with, has used magic in some way? Do you remember that your father turned bad once, a very long time ago? And your sister, you know how she turned around completely, becoming Evin."

"Well of course!" I say. "The only one that has ever used magic and not changed is…is…"

"Is you," my mother says. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but you've only used magic once or twice, correct?"

"Not very many times, no," I say.

"And you had protection," Mother said. "You are a believer, correct?"

I reach up to clutch the locket at my throat, but I realize it's not there; it was still on my mortal body. Feeling like there was a part of me missing I let my hand drop and I say, "Yes, I've put my hope in God."

"So wise," she says, and her eyes fill with tears. "If only I had done so, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. I would have never lost you, never caused you so much pain! You see my son, our art was never meant to be might and magic. It had been might at first, and only might, but when our enemies started using magic against us, some of our warriors began using it to, to try and make it a fairer fight." Her head looked away. "What fools they all were. The more they used it, the more they were pulled to the dark side, and as they were pulled away they were destroyed. That is why there are only five of us left. Four, I mean. You can't count me, and Vasilissa is left out as well since she never truly was one of us. That leaves your father, Terrence, you and Yin."

"Yin's not back, Mom," I say. "Evin took her place."

"She's back to you, and better than ever," Mom smiles. "She saw you fall and it all came rushing to her again."

"Once I'm finished and can't see it," I say. "It figures." My brain chugs into overdrive, thinking. "But what about Rain?" I ask. "Rain uses magic and she hasn't turned evil."

"We are all evil, in a way," Mother says. "But there are some things about Vasilissa you don't know about. She was Eradicus' servant. Besides," she says as my eyes widen in shock, "You've seen how her memory can get, how she reverts back to a certain insanity when things get too hard. Magic's had that effect on her."

"I always thought that magic was good," I say in a soft voice.

Mother draws nearer to me. "Evil masquerades in good as disguise. You've seen that with Rusty."

I had. "He's not changed, is he?"

"He could be," Mom says. "But on this earth, only he truly knows, in his heart."

Mother looks around. Without warning her face becomes frustrated and she shuts her eyes, gritting her teeth.

"I hate being here," Mother said. "Here in this…cage. With nothing but the sound of my own voice to comfort me, no fellow prisoner to mourn with."

"Isn't there any way somebody could get you out?" I ask.

"There is," she says in a quiet voice. "But there's nothing you or I could do about it now."

"Am I trapped here?" I ask, beginning to quiver.

She rushes to me and wraps me in her arms so tight. "Never. You cannot stay here. You are only here for a short time. Afterwards, I don't know. There is little I know anymore."

She lets me go, and she rests her hands on my shoulders, looking me over. "You've grown up so much," she says. "So strong and handsome, and in love."

If I could've blushed, I would've. "You know about that?"

"My dear, who _doesn't _know?" she asks, and we both laugh, myself a little nervously. She strokes my hair and says, "Your friend Vasilissa was right when she said she saw me, long ago, back when you nearly died of that deep cut. I was right there beside you. I can't go anywhere without Calamity. Because they were there, I was there with you."

"Wait, you _were_ there, and I wasn't hallucinating?" I ask loudly. She nods and I say, "So Calamity was after us then, because they knew that Yin, Rain and I were the ones to restore Pakavel…but it's over. We lost."

"It's not over till it's over," Mother reminded me gently.

"Mom, I'm dead." I say shortly.

"There's still Vasilissa," Mom says gently. "Remember, she is the last true Pakavelian. If anyone is to take the crown, it's her."

"Vasilissa," I say. "Makes Rain sound really cheesy."

"Don't say that. It's a beautiful name, the one that you gave her, and it suits her. She wears it well."

"May I ask what the meaning of her real name is?" I say abruptly.

"You may. Her name is one out of a fairy tale, Vasilissa the Wise or Vasilissa the Beautiful. The meaning is _royal,_ or, rather, _queenly. _The girl in the tale was mistreated for years by her family and an evil witch, but she ends up marrying the king in the end."

"Sounds an awful lot like her," I hush. "Vasilissa. I like it."

"But she's still your Rain, isn't she?" Mom asks.

"Maybe," I grimace. I shake my bangs out of my eyes. "Another question, then," I say. "If we know where you are, where am I?"

"You're in the void, sweetie," Mama said. "The space between life and death."

"Does that mean I'm dying then?" I ask.

Her mouth turned into a sad, unhappy crescent. "You have been dying all along, baby."

"What do you mean?" If I had a heartbeat, it would have quickened several steps.

"You're not living life fully like you should be. Life is too short for enemies. It is too short to be unhappy _all the time. _You should be using your gifts to better the world, and not be waiting, praying, to die."

I look down. "It seems the only way to end my pain."

"But it isn't. There is hope. Our lives are _living _sacrifices, Yang. Just because you've died for something doesn't necessarily mean you've made a sacrifice, if you've wanted to die all along."

"So it was all for nothing?" I said in devastation.

"I wouldn't say that." Mom says, but it doesn't help my sorrow. I twist and try to walk away; she grabs me and refuses to let me go.

"Is any of it worth it?" I whisper, eyes down.

She turns me slowly around and raises my face with her fingertips. "If it is for love, it is always worth it."

"I don't know what's wrong with me," I say, and my voice becomes strangled. "Maybe I'm schizophrenic, maybe I have a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes me depressed, I don't know! Please tell me! Show me what's wrong, tell me what's killing my life so I can give it a name and move on!"

"Lightstaryang, I don't have all the answers," she whispers.

I paused. "Lightstar. You called me Lightstar."

"Of course I did. What else would I call you? Your curse and your sufferings are not curses nor sufferings at all," she says. "They are gifts. You were designed to be this way for a reason…a great reason indeed."

"Like this?" I tapped my head, indicating my depression.

"Yes indeed. Don't think too much into it, darling. It's all mind games. If you did not have these gifts, you would never accomplish the tasks that you are destined to do."

"Like what?"

"Your depression is meant to help others. Your cutting too, even though it is a sin. All works out for good, my child. Every disaster, every grief. Don't you understand? Evil may cause these things, but evil doesn't have the power, nor the authority. It cannot win."

"Everyday is a struggle…" I say.

"A struggle that ends in victory," she smiles.

"One hundred days," I say in awe, my mouth developing into a smile as I realize my no-cut count. I look up at her, beaming. "Well, even though I took an awful beating it was worth it, all to talk to you. So now that I'm dead…what happens now?"

Mother laughs and leans over to hush into my ear. "Fair child," she states, "Why do you keep saying that? Whatever made you think you were dead?"


	15. Holding On

I let Yang's head drop from my lap. I gently placed his head on the floor and looked him over, the stillness of him, the pure tranquility and peacefulness his face seemed to display.

"He's over," Rusty said, looking at my spent brother. "It's over. We're all over."

Somewhere nearby I spotted it. My brother's sword. The one that the guards stole from him. They had dropped it along the floor, the blade shining blue. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Trinity fleeing up the stairs. My lips curled into a snarl. I got up off the ground and told Rusty, "Stay here."

"But-" he objected.

"Stay here!" I ordered. I walked over and picked up the sword off the ground, saying, "It's time I settled a little unfinished business."

The war had been pushed out the great doors and into the courtyard, where men screamed and cried aloud. I walked past the doors and found Rain kicking a foe to the ground, then turning to rejoin the fray.

"No," I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her to me. "We have to catch her!" I pointed, up to the second level. Rain nodded and together we flew up the stairs, taking them two at a time, me lifting the sword up in a charge. We got to it, then; the highest peak. Trinity was standing against the fences of the tower, ready to leap off and take flight. I stood my ground and pointed the sword at her, saying, "You're not going anywhere!"

Trinity paused, then she slowly turned around, her eyes deep red and menacing. "Why? Wish to leave with me, daughter?"

"I'm no daughter of yours!" I screamed, then I pointed the blade straight at her heart. A deep and wonderful spirit was telling me what to do. As I held that sword Yang's faith, hope, and love was filling me up, giving me strength. It would take a great deal of belief and power that wasn't mine to do what I was planning to. But I couldn't do it alone. Trinity's eyes widened dramatically and I said quickly, "Rain, grab onto the hilt!"

Both of her hands enveloped over mine, and I cried out in a loud voice, "In the name of Jesus Christ, come out!"

Light burst from the tip of the sword like a dam busting open, and as it hit Trinity her scream pierced though the stone walls. It was a loud, earth bending scream; the kind of scream you hear only when somebody is in absolute pain. I cringed but the sword (or Rain's hands) wouldn't seem to let me go. We squinted and watched as Trinity hit the floor on her knees, her hair falling over her face, then letting out another tortured scream as she leaned back and opened her mouth wide.

The light hurt to look at. We turned our faces away and closed our eyes, waiting for the screaming to stop, for the bright flash to end.

It was finished. Rain let go of the sword and it drooped to my side as I approached the woman on the ground. We stared in horror and in awe, in disbelief and in fear. Trinity lifted her head, and for the first time since I could remember, her gaze seemed clear.

* * *

The battle had long been over and done; sunset was falling on the castle and it matched the scene around us; red blood and more red blood. Miraculously, once word had gotten around that Trinity had been taken down, the other side surrendered and only a few lives had been lost.

It was a few lives too many.

I sighed. Trinity was facing prosecution from the court of Condolet right now, led by Rain. If they found her guilty, she would be executed. But if, by the slim chance, that they found her not guilty under the cause of demon possession, she would be set free.

Amazing. I hadn't changed nor had a shower in over twenty four hours and yet I was okay with it. I got up from the rock I had been sitting on and started to pacing some more. Did I want Trinity to be set free? No idea. I mean, she was the cause of all this pain, but she wasn't really the one doing it…

The only other figure in the courtyard with me was an old man, rocking on a ancient swinging chair. He looked pretty lonely. Maybe, like me, he had lost his way too. He shouldn't have been alone, not on a day like this. I walked over and stood next to him, his head not turning an inch as I did so. "Hey. You want me to sit with you?"

At the sound of my voice he jumped about five feet into the air. He turned around quickly on his seat and said, "Yin?"

His eyes were the same color as Yang's had been. "Daddy?" I said, and all my memories once again came rushing back to me; I collapsed into his arms and he held me tight to him.

"Yang was right," he said in awe. "You _were_ alive. He never gave up searching for you, not ever, even when I did…"

"Daddy," I said again, relishing the word.

"My daughter," he said softly. We pulled away and he put his hands to my face, looking me over. There were tears in his eyes. "You look like your mother. More beautiful everyday."

"I forgot how much I missed you," I said.

"I never did," he said. "I thought about you at all moments."

"I _couldn't_, honestly," I said. "My memory was wiped and Trinity, or, whoever was controlling her, made me Evin."

"What!" he said, shocked. "You…you were Evin?"

"Yes," I said proudly. "Why, does it matter?"

"It certainly does!" he said, shocked. "I was watching you through a seeing mirror we had! I couldn't see your face, but I saw the nasty things you did to people! You cut off the hair of one of your servants!"

I frowned. "I'm sorry I did that. But I'm different now. I know I was wrong, and I'm going to apologize personally to everyone I hurt, I promise."

"That's a lot of people. It's going to take you all day!" Dad said. "And we were watching later and…" His face turned from stunned to angry when he added, "And we saw you and Rusty."

I turned red. Oops. I smiled at him hopefully and said, "I uh…really like him?"

He stared at me sternly. "Yin, you were trying to get him into bed."

I twirled my hair around my finger. "He's really good looking…"

"You know better," he said. "And you can bet we're going to have a talk about this later. A long talk, in which several punishments are going to be involved once we're done. After, of course, I go after Rusty."

"Dad, don't," I say. "He didn't really do anything, it was all me."

"Don't try to defend him," he said. "Nobody's allowed to react to my daughter's flirting unless I give permission! You are a virgin, young lady, and I'm going to keep it that way if I can help anything!"

"Dad! Not so loud!" I said, glancing around to make sure nobody heard. "Besides, you can't keep me from…doing that. It's my choice, and like I said, I'm better now."

Since the battle I had seen Rain and Yang's love for each other, and had envied it. I knew that the way they loved each other was the only way to truly love. Even knowing that, it still didn't make it any easier talking about this to my dad. I raised my hand in the air and said, "I've decided to stay pure, and I know that…that thing…is only meant for when you're at the pinnacle of love, that it doesn't make it."

"I don't care if you want to be a nun, you're not allowed to talk to any boys until you're forty!" he exclaimed, raising his fist and shaking it at no one in particular.

I sighed. There was no reasoning with the man. I sat down on the chair next to him and said,

"What about Trinity? You still love her, I know you do. If she gets off are you guys going to get back together again?"

Dad's smile vanished. "I've…I've done all I can for her. The court wants her killed, but since Rain is the true ruler now, she has the final decision. I'm not so sure about us staying together. I certainly want to, but…it's a long road ahead, you know that."

"What's going to happen after that?"

Dad's smile returned. "They're going to try to join Condolet and Pakavel into one country."

"That'd be fantastic! No more rivalries," I beamed.

"Well, maybe no more. I'll still hear the same arguing around here that's always been going on now that you've finally met your brother again. Where is he anyway?"

The air and my happiness was sucked right out of me. I took Dad's hand and said, "Follow me."

I led him through the empty halls, past the many doors where the injured were being treated. We stalked past various rooms until we came to the few that were reserved for the dead. A special one had been reserved for him. Rusty and I had carried his body to the back, after Rain took Trinity to the council for judgment. She didn't know yet. She was the last person I wanted to tell, the last person whom I wanted to find out.

I opened the door to reveal him lying so still on a wooden table, the sun from a stained glass window shining upon his stone-like husk. Dad's hand let go of mine and he walked towards the boy with an open mouth, his face unreadable except for one main factor; shock. The old man hobbled towards the dead king and put his arms around him, lifting his head up so his hair fell back to reveal his pale face.

"My boy," Dad whispered, and he buried his face in Yang's chest.

I backed away silently and closed the door behind me.

* * *

Loss for loss, gain for gain. It seemed we could never manage to keep each other alive. It took Dad hours to come out of that room; when he did, I didn't ask any questions, just grabbed his hand again and led him to his designated room.

Trinity managed to get off easy; they were letting her go, after one year of imprisonment. After that, she had said yes, that she would rejoin my father again, and that she would be a mother to me.

But only to me, of course. Who else was there to raise?

We had planned it all out. We would live here in the palace, in the new joint land of Condovel, and help Rain with her rule. If she didn't want the job then we would go away and find a small place of our own, and take Rain with us. Rusty was going where I went; even after all these years, his devotion to me was so strong it almost seemed obsessive, and perhaps it was. Dad wouldn't let him live with us, however. If we wanted to stay together, he was going to need his own place, and beg my Dad for permission first.

Not that he would give it, of course. He was overprotective of me as ever, ten times more than before, and after all that had happened, I was okay with that. I still liked Rusty, of course, but after everything I lost, I needed space.

I met Uncle Terrence for the first time a while ago. He had been promoted to the Head of the Court. Even though Dad had gotten the army together, I learned that it was him that actually led it into battle. I thanked him, he told me he was glad I was alive, we talked, and then we moved on. He was a court official, and I was a princess. We weren't close enough to keep acting like family. We nodded to each other in the halls; nothing more.

The doctors were inside, autopsying Yang's body. They wouldn't find anything, of course; magic left no traces. Trinity had told me her story of how magic had betrayed her; both Rain and I had given it up. I was now studying my brother's art. There had to be some one left behind to continue the tradition, and since he wasn't here anymore…

Three men in white robes exited the doors. Dad, Rusty and I stood up. Rain still didn't know; we had managed to give her enough wild excuses to keep her occupied, but that miracle was short lived. Once the doctors said it was okay, the burial would begin and I would have to let her see.

One of them cleared his throat. Dad stared; he was older-looking than I had ever seen him.

The doctor swallowed. "He's not dead."

"Excuse me?" I said abruptly, stepping forward. My throat closed up. What kind of a joke was this?

"We took a look at the body, and it turns out he only took the appearance of death," another spoke.

"You've got to be kidding me," Rusty mumbled, running a hand through his hair. Dad and I looked at each other in fright and then clung to each other; was there hope?

"He's in a comatose state," the third said. "His body slowed down enough for his heartbeat to beat very, very slowly and his breathing to be so small that it's nearly impossible to recognize. It's a miracle he didn't die of asphyxiation."

"So what does this mean?" Dad asked, his voice staggered.

"It means that he's still living, but only just. He could still die anytime, if we don't act immediately." The doctor said this very matter of factly, very professional. To hear him talk like that stung.

"Can we still keep him here?" Dad asked.

"We can give him the best care where he is," the second doctor said. "As long as he stays in one place, we can move all the equipment to a particular room. If his prognosis is good, he may only need one doctor after a time."

"When will he wake up?" I asked, my voice barely over a whisper.

They turned their glaring, headlight eyes on me, only one of them looking merciful and kind. He was the one that spoke. "It could be a matter of days to a matter of years."

"Years?" Dad croaked out.

"Or never," The third one added.

I almost dropped to my knees. Never? That meant that he was as good as dead anyway. It would be worse, seeing him lay there day after day, immobile, none of us ever gathering any relief that he was finally free of this world…

I pulled away from Dad. "Pardon me for a moment, please," I said. I headed up several flights to my room up above and laid upon my bed, moving just as much as my still brother.

I wish it had been me.

I closed my eyes. He could come back anytime, or he could come back never. Trust meant never losing faith. Did I trust that he could wake up? Or did I trust that, after everyone had done all they could, that we would finally lay him to rest?

I let out a low cry. I was scared.

I opened my eyes and looked at the sun, dropping low into a twilight state. Yang loved us. He was still in there, even if his body was keeping him prisoner. Maybe he's wake up after a long time that I had spent waiting for him. Maybe he'd die and then he'd spend all that time up in eternity, waiting for me. Either way, one (or both) of us were doing a lot of waiting.

I swung my legs off the bed and looked down at my sandals. He had never stopped looking for me when it was thought that I was dead. No doubt everybody else in the castle would proclaim him a vegetable, that there was no hope.

But I wasn't going to give up on him unless it was his time to go. And Rain wouldn't either. Nor would Dad. Or Trinity.

I prepared to wait, even if it meant forever. But first, I had a task to do. I walked towards my door and opened it, heading to Rain's room across the hall. If we were going to hold on until Yang either died or woke up, we would hold on together.

_I'm planning on two more chapters to wrap it all up…stay with me here._

_Oh, and thanks to WooFooGirl for making a video for my series! It's short, but it took her a long time to make and I appreciate it very much! To see the video go to and type in "yang missing." If you can't find it there go to lena324's profile and look for a video called Yang-Missing and it should be there. I tried to put the link here but it doesn't seem to want to work, so sorry about that!_


	16. Three Years Later

Year One

* * *

Year Two

* * *

Year Three

* * *

Early that morning Rain brought up a new bouquet of flowers and put them in the vase beside Yang's bed. The eighteen year old once girl, now a woman, folded her hands and sat on a stool by his bedside, watching his ever still face, waiting.

"Seems like forever, hasn't it? The last time we talked?" Rain asked, a sad smile brushing across her face as she reached over to push a lock of hair of his closed eyes. "Happy nineteenth birthday Yang.

Birds flitted outside the window as the sunlight washed over each and every crevice of the marble scope. The most beautiful room in the palace had been chosen for the prince to rest in, with the loveliest decorations and antiques, but Rain thought it a waste. After all, he never opened his eyes to see it.

"Your parents renewed their vows yesterday, just like I told you. Things are going to be like they always have been," Rain said, brightening up a bit. "They're really, really happy together. I wish you could see them now."

Her lip tightened. She couldn't help but admit that she was bitter that Yomen and Trinity could be together, whilst her and her adored were so close, yet so far. She told herself she was being selfish, however; the two elders had spent too many years apart as it was.

The man on the bed was stiller than a horse scenting fear. Speaking of horses, Shiuh was going to need someone to go out and groom him soon. Rain knew Shiuh didn't understand where his master went, and had taken the loss very hard, nibbling at grass every now and then but spending most of his time standing around with a dull expression on his face. Rain had tried to make things better for him by giving him small tasks, like giving rides to the children around the castle, but both of them knew that all the attention in the world couldn't bring back the joy of his first rider.

She sighed, slowly and deeply. She was young, but she felt so, so very old.

Rain had to reach over and touch him again, to make sure he wasn't stone. When she was younger, every day she feared that he would ignore her, act like she didn't exist, wouldn't be there. Her fears had come true, only this was worse. She knew Yang didn't have any control over his coma, but she was angry at the years that had been taken away, the fact that she was invisible to him not of his own account but because of something that wasn't his fault.

The princess couldn't cry. Like her old love, she had almost lost the ability to long ago. She had cried one too many tears lately for her to shed many more. But she couldn't let go of the past. It had become impossible for her to let go, to try and forget past mistakes and what could have been. For everyone else, they had managed to move on. For her, moving on seemed like a sin of drastic proportions.

A tear nearly slipped down her cheek, but as always, it never fell. Would he have done the same for her, wait like this for years on end, if she had ended up in this state?

Rain got up from her chair and kissed Yang on the forehead, looking lovingly at his face and stroking a finger on his cheek. She then picked up her skirts and headed towards the door.

She hoped wherever he was floating he was happy.

* * *

Since Rain visited Yang every morning and his parents visited him every noon, Yin visited him every evening. This time Yin came a little early, before dusk had even begun. She clomped down on her chosen seat and said loudly, "Well, I'm glad you're asleep cause you're probably not going to like the news. I know it's totally out of the blue and random, but listen. Rusty like, wants to run off with me. No kidding, right? He's really getting serious about it now."

Yang didn't move. Yin glared at him and said, "Don't look at me like that. Eloping's very romantic. I would go ahead and do it if it weren't for you, fuzz-head."

No answer. Yin crossed her arms and said, "Fine then, be that way. But you can bet I'm not telling you if we do leave, mister."

Still nothing. She smiled and shook her head. "I still mess around with you. But its boring if you don't bite back!" She reached out and playfully slapped his hand. For all that he reacted, he might as well been a doll.

"Killjoy, like always," she said sassily, but now sadly too. "Lately you've become very serious. I swear you were born to ruin my fun."

Yin started to laugh out loud at the insanity of this statement. But soon her laughter turned to tears, and before she knew it she was breaking down again. "Now look what you did!" she outburst, her face becoming puffy red as she wiped her palms across her eyes. "You're such a jerk, you made me cry!"

Yin pulled a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her nose. She then bunched it into a ball and looked at it, and then her brother. "You know if I was still Evin, I'd throw this at you. But I'm nice now."

She pitched the wadded up rag into a golden trash bin in the corner of the room. "Score!" she yelled, throwing up her hands and cheering. "High five!"

As usual, he ignored her upraised hand. "Fine man, whatever," Yin said, rolling her eyes. "Be like that."

Yin's nose twitched as she looked at her concrete brother. "Hey, it's not like any of this bothers you. This is the most insane part of my day. I'm perfectly fine and then I see you and all my sanity goes out the window. I blame you."

Absolutely not a sound, spasm or sigh. If he wasn't breathing, Yin would swear he was dead. Yin's ghost of a smile finally vanished and she gave a soul shuddering groan, burying her face in her arms that were folded upon the bed.

Yang's fingers twitched.

Aw man…why does it feel like I haven't moved in like…forever? I just got done talking to my mom five seconds ago. She asked my why I thought I was dead…what the crap? Of course I'm dead, Calamity dealt me a mortal wound…

Oh…I'm in bed. I'm sinking into the mattress, it's so ridiculously soft. Okay, I'm not making this mistake again. I'm going to see if I'm actually dead before I go on talking to people…

WOW the room is fuzzy. I feel so trippy, as if I'm on drugs. I don't get this way, not unless I'm on some temporary high. And I don't think I cut myself…

Oh no. I can't have cut. I was on a record. I can't of. I made a promise. My eyes jerk open to their fullest extent and the room comes into full focal view, hammering into my head until I feel a headache coming on. I relax; I was only waking up, not coming out of a self injury stupor. I know that its never happened before but really…thank God…

Who's the lady going to sleep next to my arm? "Um, excuse me," I say gently, shaking her shoulder gently.

She jerks up so fast that her head almost gives me a bloody nose. I fall back onto my pillows and stare into her face with absolute shock.

It's my sister. She's older now, different, looking so much like mom. My mouth falls open and so does hers as we stare at each other, awed…

"Yang!" she cries, and her face lights up, her eyes now full of conquered pains and new hope.

"Yin!" I say, and she grabs me so tight, squeezing me close until I can hardly believe. I wrap my arms around her and she says, "After so long…so very, very long."

"You finally remembered!" I laugh, gripping her tight. "When did all this happen?"

"Years ago," Yin says. At her words I let her go and stare at her, perplexed. "What do you mean?" I ask slowly.

She doesn't answer. I hold up my hands and I realize that they're bigger. I jump out of bed and run to the nearest mirror, drinking in my reflection.

I've grown about three feet overnight. My features are sharper and more defined, all of my body rugged. "How long was I asleep?" I ask, and I clench my throat. It stings from not being used. I didn't notice until now, but my voice is super deep. It's finally done changing.

"Three and a half years," Yin says softly. "Happy nineteenth birthday. I guess this is your present to me."

"I'm…I'm nineteen?" I ask in disbelief. "But I just got knocked out at fifteen! I missed all of that?"

"You missed so much more." Yin said. A tear ran down her cheek and she whispered, "I'm not going to have to spend a birthday alone anymore."

An idea sharpens into an action. I pull my shirt over my head and throw it aside, glancing down and looking at the pure whiteness of my skin.

My arms are clean. MY ARMS ARE CLEAN. "Look!" I say, bearing my limbs to my sister. "No cut marks!"

"Of course!" she laughed. "You didn't think all this time was long enough for your scars to go away?"

I put a hand against the wall, leaning onto it. "That means I haven't cut in years," I say in disbelief. "I don't count it because I was knocked out, but Yin, me not cutting for this long is unbelievable!"

"This is unbelievable! You were in a coma, we thought you were never going to wake up! I've got to get Mom and Dad!" Yin said, jumping up and striding towards the door.

"Mom?" I ask, confused.

"Mom's free, Yang," she says happily, bouncing towards me and giving me yet another hug. "No more possession. She and Dad got remarried yesterday, everything's the way it should be!"

I swear, if my mouth falls open any more it'll be on the floor. I put my arm around my baby sister and say, "I've got a better idea. I'll get dressed and just come downstairs and shock everyone. It'll be a total surprise!"

"Oh my gosh, yes! Dad's gonna freak!" Yin squeals. She starts jumping up and down sporadically, literally bouncing off the walls. "I've got a party scheduled for my, I mean our, birthday tonight, we can all go and totally blow everyone's mind! Imagine the look on Rusty's face!"

"Rusty?" I ask, my joy halting. "He's still here?"

"Yeah, we're dating now," Yin says nonchalantly.

"What! He's a traitor!" I say angrily, shaking my head.

"Nah, not anymore. That's another long story. I've got a lot to tell you about these last three years."

"I guess," I shrug. "It sucks missing out on all this stuff. And I'm kind of hungry now too."

"Hey, just be glad you woke up at all. And if you had listened to me when Rain and I visited and _told _you all this stuff-"

"Rain." I say, my voice tightening. "Is she still…is she still here? Was she waiting for me?"

"Why don't you turn around and ask me yourself?"

I whirl around so fast that the action must have seen superhuman. I take a step back and my breath freezes, my heart halts, my stomach does a back flip.

It's her.

_The last chapter will be coming. We're almost done with Yang's journey. Stay with me, my friends. _


	17. Epilogue

Pace pace pace…back and forth, back and forth…I rub my hands together quickly and sporadically, my entire form quivering in anticipation. If I put together all of the twenty three years I've spent on this earth, I don't think any of them would be enough to make up for the anxiety I'm feeling right now. The stone walls in the palace hallways echo the sound of my nervous feet, the closed wooden door beside me hiding everything that I need to peer in and see, but aren't allowed to. Unable to breathe I turn around to my father and ask, "How long is this going to take? Wouldn't they have called us in if something happened?"

"_Yes, _Yang," Dad says in exasperation, closing his eyes and keeping them that way. "If anything goes wrong they'll come out and tell us immediately. And you know just as well as I do that this is a long process. It took all day and it might take all night."

"All night?" I squeak. I can feel my heart jump into my throat.

"Calm down. It'll be fine," he utters, and he rests his head against the wall. I shake my head and begin pacing again, staring at him from the corner of my eye. If you look at him from the outside, he's the absolute portrait of tranquility. He's not fooling me, though. I can tell he's almost as nervous as I am.

"I've got to go in there, I don't know what's going on," I say quickly, but Dad throws his arm out and said, "No. Stay. She can't have you in there while she's doing this. You're too big of a distraction."

"You were with Mom when this happened!" I hiss, knowing that if I shouted Rain would know something was wrong, and we couldn't have that.

"Your mother was fully focused on the task at hand. Rain won't be if you go galloping in there like a chicken with its head cut off."

"I highly doubt that," I say, but I know he's right. I'll only cause a giant commotion instead of a consolation if I rush in now, and nothing can be at risk for her. Not at a time like this.

Rain lets out a loud, agonizing wail and I hear it clear through the inch thick mahogany. At her screams I run towards the door, desperate to save her, but Dad leaps up from the chair and plants himself in front of me. "There's nothing you can do! Now wait outside and be patient!"

"How can I be patient, I did this to her!" I say unhappily, ripping myself away from him and casting my hand at the door.

"She won't care about the pain when it's all over. Few of them ever do."

"Rain can't do this alone, she needs me there," I whimper as a last resort.

"You're right here if she needs you. But _do not go in_," Dad growls sternly.

I sigh angrily, whirling around on my heels. It had been a bad idea (for me at least) when everybody had planned that Dad stay out here to keep me from going inside, but what was I going to do about it? "Yin would stop me anyway," I strangle out, then plop in the chair opposite the door to wait.

One hour, two hours…I can't count how many times she screams. How could I have done this to her…? Three hours…Dad and I don't speak, only flinch now and then when Rain gives another cry.

It's nearly midnight. She has to be exhausted by now. I glance out the window and watch the snowflakes dance gently into the courtyard, the calm snow building up in drifts outside our doors. The whole castle has been shut down for this very moment, this day prepared for by everyone for months…

Exactly 11:59. Rain has stopped yelling completely. Is she okay? I leap up from my chair and, unable to stand it anymore, reach for the handle. I'm about to open it up when my sister (who was inside the whole time) pulls it open, and with a big smile says, "Come on in. There's somebody who wants to see you."

Without hesitation I burst in there and hustle to Rain's bed, falling to my knees my her side. "Rain," I whisper, taking her hand as I look at her exhausted face, her worn out body.

"I've never been more tired in my life," she hushes back, and she chuckles lightly. "But it was worth it. Look."

In the crook of her left arm was a small pink blanket. Inside she cradled a tiny baby with closed fists and closed eyes, a bit of black hair tufting out at the top of her head, with the softest of skin and gentlest of faces. I didn't think it was possible, but the little breath I had left in me whooshed out at the moment I saw the baby's face.

"You did it," I say in awe, and I knew my face must have been shining as I looked at the infant, our brand new little girl.

"No, we did it," she replied, stroking my hand. Rain's face was one of absolute peace and calm as she observed protectively over our daughter.

Our daughter. I couldn't stop beaming now.

"What color are her eyes?" I asked, softly so I wouldn't wake her up.

"Same color as yours." Rain still never takes her eyes off the child. She shifted the baby in her arms and said, "Here. Take her."

Before I knew it I was holding a baby. It was amazing, awe inspiring, that this tiny thing, which couldn't have weighed much more than a feather, didn't come into this world until a few minutes ago. It seemed as if she was always meant to be here. "Let a grandparent get through," my dad grumbled, and before I knew it both my parents were staring over my shoulder, watching.

"She has Rain's natural beauty," Mom says. "You'd better watch out for the boys, son."

At that statement a flame rises up in me, and a strand of connection floods between me and the girl until I feel a bond so strong that I know it can never be broken. I would protect her from anything; this was my job, I needed to keep her safe…

"What's her name?" Yin asks, coming close and peering at the little one, an aunt speculating every inch of her new niece.

Rain looks at me. For some reason, she wanted the naming to be up to me. A bad idea, in Yin's opinion, and sort of in mine too. What if I couldn't come up with anything good, or worse, came up with something awful?

I swallow. I had several in mind…but the doctors had told us that it was going to be a boy! We had a few in reserve, in case it was a girl, but now that I looked at her all of them seemed to fall short.

"Um…" I say hoarsely, knowing I decided this poor baby's fate.

"Um? That's original," Yin mocked.

I ignore her. Her sarcasm won't ruin this moment. After a long span of five minutes (in which all of them were captivated by the sleeping newborn) a spark of inspiration came to me. "Well," I say. "It's sort of stupid, but…"

"Come on, spit it out," Yin prods, ripping her gaze away from the baby to look at me.

"I'd like to name her Rin." I say, and at the word an electric lighting bolt vibrates through the room.

"Rin?" Dad asks. "Like…a combination of Rain and Yin?"

"She looks like a Rin," Mom says, her voice expressing her approval.

"And that's why I let you pick," Rain says quietly. "You named me, too. I knew you'd choose well. Princess Rin."

Rin gurgles in my arms and starts crying. I rock her gently and say, "No no, it's okay, settle down Rin…settle down…"

Somebody up there must like me, cause Rin went right back to sleep. "So Daddy," Yin says, coming up to me and patting me on the shoulder, "Congrats."

"That little girl's gonna do big things," Dad boasts proudly, puffing up.

"How can you tell?" I say, giving him a side glance.

Dad chuckles. "You looked the same way."

I shake my head and smiled. With Rin still in my arms, I walk over to the window and we watch the weather outside. "You see that, Rin?" I whisper in excitement. "Your first snowfall. Happy birthday, princess."

Rin didn't stir, but somehow I knew she heard me. Dad was right; she was going to do big things. If she was anything like her mother…and perhaps, anything like me, it was inevitable that she would.

My new daughter and I stood there in the moonlight, the world turning to ice around us. I had not cut in over eight years; I had married my one true love, my family was restored, my kingdom no longer divided but united. The land had seen (and eliminated) only minor threats since my mother had been set free. My depression, after a long, hard battle (after I had woken up from my coma) was no longer taking control of my life.

I'm alive. Rin wasn't the only one who had been born recently.

I can hardly wait for the sun to come up so I can share my daughter's very first day. How I love her! I have only spent ten minutes with her and my adoration for her is like a wide sea, amazement that the love Rain and I share, the love we have for each other, created _her,_ that the same Creator that hade made the stars and the mountains and the earth had decided to give this precious gift to us…to me.

I just couldn't stop beaming. The past ended here. It ended everyday, always, and there was nothing you could do to make it not end. But all my pain over the years was worth it. Everything I had been through, that we all had been through over the years, was worth it for her. I felt like I was getting a bargain.

"I worked so hard for you," I whispered to Rin, and she cooed. Smiling even broader now I thought, _I'm a father, _and nestled her even closer.

It didn't matter what happened in the past. What mattered was here, and what was all around me. I was going to keep running this race, always pushing forward. Even better, I would have my wife and child beside me. What more could I ask for?

Rin snuggles closer to my chest. The story wouldn't stop here. It would go on forever…because, like most stories, mine would never be finished. It would keep going, in a train of tomorrows, that would eventually cease to exist, and from that point on…it was eternity.

How blessed my daughter was to share that with me. Each day had enough troubles of its own; I took my eyes off the cloudy sky and looked at her, only her, knowing that soon I would miss this moment, that all too soon it would be gone. I couldn't miss out on that moment, so I was living for right now.

Tomorrow was a new day.

* * *

_Our journey ends here. Thank you, one and all, who looked at my story, all of you who submitted reviews, who did me favors, and who have been right alongside me from the very beginning as the tale raced and raved and eventually came to a stop. I pray I have been a blessing to all of you, and that I have somehow affected you in my writing. I may return…however, only if I am asked for it. Now for the true story._

_It was thirteen days and one year ago that the first chapter of Battle Scars was published. From then it's been one crazy, wild rollercoaster ride. Many of you commented on how well I managed to write about Yang's depression, cutting, and so forth. The reason I can is because his story is my story; if you take out many of the fantasy elements, the things that happened to him also happened to me. His thoughts were (and sometimes, still are) my thoughts, his pain and the way he dealt with them my struggle. Sometimes I used writing this story as a way to keep myself from cutting; most times it worked, other times it didn't. But, like Yang, I eventually stopped._

_The one great piece of advice I can give to all writers out there is to a) write what you know about and what you have experienced, because that will be the truest and most real thing you could ever write about and b) to write about what calls to you, what you have fun doing, because if you aren't enjoying your writing you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Don't write about what's popular or controversial just because you think you will get attention. I thought nobody would notice Battle Scars when I first put it up, and look where I am now! In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, "_Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

_Three days ago I told my parents what I am. Where I go from here, I am uncertain, but I am confident God will lead the way to new life and recovery. I just have to wait, and be willing to make the change. _

_Today is day 278._

_-GriffinsMustFly_


End file.
